I posted a little back early in the affair, and tried to follow the ways of MB. Short history, D-Day, December 4th, 2009. Plan A for six months, Plan B (moved out) around July, realized I wasn't dark enough and went dark in August.

Let me say up front, EVERYBODY listen and listen good when all the good posters here tell you that everything you know is a LIE if it comes from the WS. I won't go into all the lies I exposed during this process but it makes me sick to know that any human being could be that callous and selfish.

In anycase, after going dark, I thought things had turned around. Through the intermediary I got word that she was ready to try and work on our marriage. During the whole year she had gone to counseling so I held out hope. We started meeting once a week. Having good conversations. Confessing to some of the lies (not all). Understanding what my list included to get back together. This went on for two months. I had so much hope. We both seemed to be genuinely happy together again.

Then, this past weekend, I had an opportunity to sneak into her phone. And there it was. Sexually explicit photos of them together from just a week ago. All this time, all lies. All hopes dashed again. I can't do this anymore. I'm exhausted fighting for my family. And now I will forever have these images of my wife with another. I think it is too much to ever be able to forgive. I told her I wanted a D and she begged to fix it. I don't think it is fixable anymore. I hate it for my kids. I hate him and her for taking away my family. I'm consumed by sadness and feel like a failure.

BUT, I'm strong and I will survive this. I will go forward for my children. I don't see any other choice. For those who have survived, please tell me it gets much better.

Sorry, just had to vent.

Fifteen posts in one year and you wonder why you have failed?

If you were in plan B why are you seeing WW once a week?

Plan B means NC unless WW goes NC with the OM and is transparent so you can verify NC.

I guess you decided not to post here much because you did not like what you were being told to do.

So being you were not hearing that what you wanted to do was the way to go. So you went it alone. Now you comeback and complain how WW has been playing you.

Well you played with yourself all this time advoiding us. We would of told you not to break NC until conditions are met. We would of gone over the conditions. How to proceed.