Hi there,

I have wanted to create a separate thread on this for awhile purely as I cannot find much info on it.

When a WS has an affair, and the BS says that the marriage is over, and then checks out the M and lives a single life having multiple affairs but does not file for divorce or move out of the home, what is the MB advice?

Also any success stories when both spouses have affairs?

Many thanks, Harmony.

I do believe that my story is successful one.

I think the MB advice does not change whether you are BS and WS at the same time or not.

Do you want to recover your marriage?

What have you done about your affair?

What have you done about your BHWH affair?

Marriages have been saved when a RA followed a PA.

My wife and I have survived one each, and have lasted for 20 years. The principles here are solid. More than anything, you need to invest in your relationship as if it were a bank that can be overdrafted if you don't invest in it (the Love Bank concept.)

Surviving one affair each takes a ton of love, forgiveness, understanding, and a total re-dedication to your marriage. Here is how I live now: treat each day of your marriage as a "stand-alone" snapshot. Did each of you do everything humanly possible to make your marriage stronger today? If today was the last day of your marriage, would you look back at the day as one where you gave it 110%?

I have wanted to create a separate thread on this for awhile purely as I cannot find much info on it.

When a WS has an affair, and the BS says that the marriage is over, and then checks out the M and lives a single life having multiple affairs but does not file for divorce or move out of the home, what is the MB advice?

Also any success stories when both spouses have affairs?


Harmony, which part of yourself is asking these questions? Is it your needy part? If you are going to continue to be needy and weak, then you will not be able to recover your marriage. I maintain that you were too needy to get married in the first place and your marriage has never been good so why try and recover it. You were not and are not now ready for marriage, you are not ready to have a good marriage.

My advice?:

You are not and were not ready to get married and do not know how to carry on a marriage. Neither does your husband.

I judge this from your actions:

1. You boinked a strange man for 9 days in an affair
2. He had 4 affairs that you know of now
3. You have been married only three years.
4. You both had affairs early on in the marriage
5. Neither one of you knows how to carry on a good marriage


QUIT the marriage that you are not ready for. If even ONE of you was ready for marriage and the other one was NOT abusive, perhaps there would be a snowballs chance in He** that you could recover THIS marriage. But this is not the case. You are two cheaters who have no marriage skills and at least one of you is an ABUSER.

Sorry, but I have to tell truth as I see it. And sadly, if you did not have the legal marriage document which is signed by both of you saying that you were married, I would say there is no discernable marriage here and not even a good relationship. Not even a decent dating relationship!!!! NOTHING HERE!!! Except some misplaced emotions, abuse, and neediness...

I could not argue with that Bubbles that is the sad fact. I am trying to save a M on my own with someone who is not interested,