Okay, here's my rant.

Posters who pose one way on MB and another elsewhere. That's all I'm sayin....

There is a word or words to describe them, but hypocrite and gutless, souless ,wasted and spineless just doesn't seem to do it justice. Lost is too nice, because that would assume that nobody ever showed them the way.

Maybe they are just trying out the place to see if it suits them, or if they are comfortable.

One comforting thing though, MB works if you use it, and doesn't leave a place to play act in, so those trying to use it without respecting it, only hurt themselves. Those doing it know it is the way to live, and wouldn't live anyway else, reguardless of the outcome. It is about healthy living and loving from a perspective outside ourselves, or our own, as much as it is for us to rise above the selfishness of this world, and the lies so often sold or bought.

So those pretending to be married and not fully embracing how precious it is, lose out. Those who embrace it and still live in the reality that they need to constantly care for the marriage and are never quite satisfied with themselves probably are still searching how to become better spouses, and don't feel the need to pretend, and attempt to sell others.

It is what it is, and any amount of pretending or posing just wastes time, and those who pose, just fool themselves.

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hmmmmmm.... now you have me wondering.

There was no affair, so we don't have an affairriage.


Waywards lie.

My rant: Legalism and living in a world where only absolute perfection is acceptable.

My Rant, The letter killeth, but the spirit bring life. Now I have no way to prove I was right all along, and everyone else was mistaking me.------------
Yeah right, God help me if that was the case.

TawandaB I remember a joke by George Carlin, He was talking about words we can say on TV. We can say "Well you have made a perfect azz out of yourself tonight", but you can't say, "You half-azz"

He finished up the joke with "Only perfect azzs allowed",(on TV he meant, according to the censors)

But it is notable that people are so attracted to what is perfect, also known as an eros love, from the God Eros, who meant beautiful and perfect, and also where the word erotica comes from.

But they don't see the beauty in people who are not perfect, or fail, and need support, not critisism and a cold shoulder, Just real truth, understanding, and time from such, well excuse me, perfect people.

Thinking we are perfect or we would not fall in certain situations, or that in order to help people scare tactics without understanding will preserve them from ever asking why or falling to temptation. Well that isn't enough to secure thier safety is it? Or is the law, without the reasons behind it, able to be obeyed by someone who is truly free?

Or do we need to be loved and guided from somewhere outside our own emotions, our own human science and experience, our own perception of what is perfect, in order to really love? How wishy washy does that get, when we take out all the rules we must live by, and try to be God for everybody, because we don't want to be "legalistic".

Its a big subject, and us humans can't answer all the questions involved with it, but we can choose to love whomever we want, and sacrifice what we will for them, and not whine about it later, beleiving what we did was what we thought was the right thing at the time, even if it turned out different than we hoped and planned, worked and sacrificed for. If our intentions meant anything, it was good in Gods eyes if it was intended to be.

We cannot be God for others, but we can listen to His guidance in the caring for ourselves and we have a right to stand for those spiritual laws that keep us safe, and avoid the pitfalls others might be heading for, and help them see them coming. Lets hope those actions are done with sensitivity and understanding, but not beating around the bush to much, and the balance of those two atributes will lead to understanding for others.

And we will then all learn in the process

Wait.. that wasn't a rant. Lol

Eros aka Cupid, son of Venus aka Aphrodite.

Venus; Goddess. Eros; Demigod.

On beauty; I don't love my wife because she is beautiful (and she is), she is beautiful because I love her. I can see beauty even in her imperfections.

Maybe that's why I am surviving this...

Good thoughts, CP.

Actually, as I was lying in bed, I realized I had got it wrong. For example, Christianity itself isn't legalistic. But some Christians with a certain "personality bent" are.

That applies to many things in life.

For instance, on other boards, I pose as the Queen of France!

I'm bipolar, so I have an excuse for being an imperfect embarrassment.

My rant for the day...people who don't slow down on roads slick with rain! There is a reason for multiple single car spin outs clogging the highways. S L O W D O W N!~

Yeah, wasn't it wise of God to limit what we could teach, and give, one another so they could get love from him? The law is limited is it not? Myself I beleive that the word of God works once we allow ourselves to be reduced. Kinda like God is the perfect "head-shrinker".

There are certain, "personality bent types" who get desparate and seek to control people thru the law. We can only thank and understand them for bringing our focus to our own behavior, but nobody will follow someone who has made a slave out of them and not rebel. It is the spirit of love we will follow to our deaths, because it transcends death, and even gives death meaning in life.

There is where the law, or legalism, has no power over the love of God for us, and where God can reach us, if we let Him.

God is a gentlemen, and the hard realities we face are gifts we can choose to embrace, or deny at our own detriment to ourselves or others. We are free to make choices, and the consequences that result are our way to learn that life is preciuos, short, and valuable beyond our own perception.

I think that is the lesson I still am learning, and one that we all learn in different ways all our life. That is why we so many times hate the law and its realities it brings until we learn to accept it is good, and why so many of us kill each other with the letter of it.

We are human, and our perception is faulted, it will allways be that way. We don't know what is missing from people or why they make mistakes really, we ussually try to reach them by pointing out the obvious, and the pitfalls we too have fallin into, but thier realization that they are loved, and valuable must come from inside themselves, and from a realationship with the character of of something beyond our own understanding. To know that is comforting, and encourages us to look up and not feel alone.

But people will only see what they want to, and only trust what they see, as it is revealed to thier inner being, and that in time.

Its not magic, its reality, and we could never see it all at once, we are not that strong. But we share the truth hoping to make the world a better place, for us first, but then for others also, and that connection to God and a spirit of love, is tottally between God and the individual.

God sure was wise in that huh? Heck, he knew what was in man, that was probably why he reserved that relationship for Himself. Only He could love us like we needed, and he knew man would turn the law into slavery in his ignorance.

Thats impossible, I'm the queen of France

I laughed unreasonably hard when I read this. People at work are probably thinking very odd things about me now.

Don't even get me started about people and driving in SNOW. I live in Canada, we get snow EVERY winter. It's not something NEW. It's not like, "SURPRISE IT'S SNOWING." ARGH

I... am a BANANA!

LOL! HeadHeldHigh & all the rest of the posters here who actually have something to say about rants. There are groanings for which the Spirit can only give utterance to - one of them being the utter destruction of the very ultimate covenant a man & woman can make to one another before God on this planet. So, it is as this post suggests, "IMVHO as a newbie (almost 3 months since Dday), I have to say that the harshness thing doesn't quite sit well with me. This situation, by its very nature, is HARSH. I have never felt this kind of pain or worked this hard for anything in my life! I feel like I am fighting for my life!! If a WS comes on here and feels they are judged too "harshly", so be it. How "harsh" do they think their BS views the actions of someone they trusted completely and implicitly who then took a huge crap on their marriage and everything they believed to be true?
Now, do I see the pain in my H's eyes every time I look at him? Yes. Do I feel sorry for him? Sometimes, but that is the protector in me that hurts when someone I love hurts. However, I am being stripped of everything I knew of my life, piece by piece, day by day. I look in the mirror and see another woman looking back at me and I don't always recognize who she is. My life and my future are so up in the air right now, if I really let it get stuck in my brain, the fear will consume me.
I think a great deal of what is wrong with our society in general is that we seem to be focused on making people feel "accepted" and "validated". Its just like when my boys played little league baseball - you got a trophy at the end of the season just for showing up. Everybody got one, regardless of performance. If you are gonna be rewarded no matter what, then what is the motivation for doing your best?
I may be overstepping my boundaries by speaking my mind, but if you are a WS and you feel that you are being treated "harshly", baby, you brought it on yourself. We BS, on the other hand, would not have chosen to travel this path in a million years...but then we were not given a choice, were we?"

This is true, and a WS who is truly repentant actually lives with the repentant heart DAILY, hourly, etc... I know. I've seen it. My Father is one of those people. My WS/still spouse is not willing to acknowledge the hurt, or if he does it is, "Well, I'm sorry you're hurt, but it is going beyond a healthy level..." Excuse me???? HEALTHY LEVEL? You cheated on me - you gave yourself whole heartedly to another and I'm the one who is insane & unhealthy ?? WTH???

IMHO, reconcilation cannot and will not beging until true repentance is sought out & brought before another person. For my Father, it took being completely cut off from his family for a year. I will not forget the change that has happen & continued to happen in his heart. I know what legalism is in the church, and unfortunately, my WS exhibits that behavior daily. His battle? He wants me to say it all "nicely" & with 'respect' . When I did that x 3 months (after having our first baby), three men in our church came & confronted him on how he had been treating me. My WS's response to me was, "don't you think you were playing a victim role?"

Yeah, talk about sickening attempts of manipulation. It doesn't work with me. It doesn't work in marriage. He has tried continually to get me to "accept" what happened - God does not require acceptance of sin, but hatred of it.

I just wanted to sa, thanks to all who are being real out there. The most respectful thing a WS can do is seek a same-gendered support group where they have accountability ... and not bring up how they feel for a while (unless asked by the betrayed spouse).

Excellent rant !