Lately I have been getting along very well with my previous Ex. She was one of the few ppl that was there for me during the last 6 months of hell. I'm not saying that I want to jump back in and get married again, but I do want to date her just to see what would happen. I still love her, never`stopped really.

Neither one of us are the same ppl we were 6 years ago. Am I completely insane for thinking this??

Anyway, any advice would be appreceated


Update: I finally have my own place again. No more living in the Guard Armory. I spent two additional months in the hosp for PTSD, I not "cured" but I am way better than I was.

My in-laws were divorced from one another when my H was 8. My FIL then went on to marry his OW, and even adopted OW's daughter. He and his OW were married for about 6 or 7 years or so, when things went sour between them (basically, FIL lost his MONEY and OW didn't take to that, so she left him for her NEW OM who was richer).

FIL then returned to MIL, who had been doing her version of a Plan A for the entire time they were divorced. She had dated one man during that time of divorce, but never really became involved seriously with him, and it was a very brief thing and she quickly stopped it.

Instead, she waited for her husband to regain his mind. She remained kind to him, and kind to the adopted daughter as well, including her in visits when the sons went back and forth, because she knew OW was just one drink away from stupid all the time.


When FIL showed up on her doorstep, she had a few rules in place for taking him back.

He agreed to the rules, and was kind and loving to her until the last breath he took and the last words he said to her.


In fact, they were married AGAIN when my H was about 16 or 17.

He died last year. His last words to her were when he kissed her and said he loved her. He died in his sleep.



You CAN recover the marriage.


You CAN change, and so can your wife.


There is nothing easy about it, and you have to be very open about what you want, and what each of you need in the relationship.


Talk about that - frequently, honestly, openly.

And talk about exactly what went wrong. But.....talk about it not in the way that you USED to do it, which was "YOU did this" or "YOU did that". Instead, talk about the state of the marriage, how both of you contributed to that state of things, how the emotional needs of the two of you were met or not met, and what each of you could have done and should have done to make that marriage stronger and better. Watch your ex-wife's reaction to THAT type of discussion.

Then, get the MB books, and have her read them WITH you.

Also, the other book that has some really good work in it is Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue. Usually I'm not a fan of his, but this particular book has some good advice and workouts for couples to use for getting to know each other - emotionally, spiritually, and just plain old getting closer. Take a look at the conversation/question part of that book in the back.


And then consider the information on this website, because in all likelihood, you two probably could have saved your marriage back then.

SB

We spent alot of time here before we chose to end it. There was just no fixing it then.

I have talked to her about it, we both have admitted our roles in what had happened. It may not even happen, but I "put it out there" for her.

thanks for the input

Unseen2,
Is this the ex that had multiple affairs?
I checked into your stitch and correct me if I am wrong but you went through he!! with your XW, got divorced hopped into another relationship and she had multiple affairs. Is this right? Even if this is another EX I would advise time by yourself for a while before you even think of getting into another relationship. JMO