Hi,

Join what ?

The club no one wants to be in ?

Sorry about that. I am nervous about this whole thing. I am not sure whether to enter this community. I was just wondering if any of you could share how you decided to come to these message boards to get help. I know it is anonymous but I feel like I am opening up some very personal stuff to a lot of people I do not really know yet. I have written out my situation in word and have not posted it. Can any of you let me know how you decided to jump in?

It easy, if you need help to save your marriage you post. You be prepared to answer questions, you be up front with the information and...

you commit to the marriage builder processes. If you do not know what they are you will be taught on the way, the site is here to save your marriage not play games.

This is the only place I found that was pro-marriage & didn't advise immediately kicking my H to the curb. It actually advises what we should of been doing all along. Actually I had already read 2 of Dr H's books before finding his site.

Read read read some more. Holidays & weekends are very slow here so be patient if you post people will respond & answer your questions more throughly. Been here close to year myself & still learning.

Challenged,
What's your alternative - to keep quiet, angry and frustrated - is that working for you? Some of us have been here a long time and are still anonymous. And believe me - your personal stuff most likely will not be surprising to any of the vets here - they have heard it all.

I first posted because I was angry and had no one - I'm so glad I came here - it was the only place I could write to people who undersood what I was going through and I felt safe doing it.

Gg

Well. I read a lot of the articles first and lurked on the boards for awhile. I liked what I was seeing.

And I just...started typing what I had in my head.

Welcome, challenged. Don't be afraid to talk to us.

The advice the vets give is usually what you know you should have been doing all along but for some reason could not bring yourself to it. I began posting my story a little over a week ago and was amazed that people were picking up on things that I didn't even fully explain.

Benefit number one is that you learn that your situation is not unique, and you don't have to fight your fight alone.

The principles and guidelines posted on the site are great. As you start getting into them and consider making the changes to your marital situaion that will suggest themselves, the ability to ask questions will be of immense value.

i joined just a few days ago. first i read all the suggested readings on the site. and re-read them. everyday i find more things to read. but this forum is the BEST place i have found to answer my questions and get advice. one of the really good things is that you will get to talk to people from both sides of the fence. people here aren't here to judge you, they want to offer you support and insight. you seem hesitant because you dont want to share with strangers, but i have learned from experience that sometimes only people on the outside can truly see what is going on, do you know what i mean? good luck to you and i hope that you let those that can, help you.

Challenged,

Just about ready to log off for the day, but saw this and thought I would respond. I did not come here because of affairs and such, but my marriage of many years was to put it gently in a "flat spot". Found this site over 11 years ago, Feb. 1999 and registered in Aug. of that year. Then it was one category and so everyone posted on one place.

You will be judged in a way if you come here. But it won't be you the person but your perspectives and your thinking will be "Challenged" if people perceive that your thinking is not conducive to achieve the goals you want to achieve.

You will also find that there are very few "new" situations. But, that does not mean people will not take an interest in you. They will. YOu will also find that the creator of this site is a very organized man. This often helps folks address their issues. You will learn a Jargon that will help you converse and speak to the folks here and to your spouse.

But, mostly writing things down, asking questions, and seeing how others perceive your words will help you formulate your goals, your plans of action, and your thinking.

So welcome to MB.

JL

Thank you all for your replies and support. I will be reaching out for your advice with another post but not today . Until then happy holidays.