Me BH: 52 my WW: 50
Married for 30 years
D19 and S27
My WW EA lasted from 3 to 6 years. She doesn�t want to read or participate in MC or IC (she read the Five Languages of Love 5 years ago) She doesn�t work.

To make the story short, In August 2008 I discovered my W EA (very possible PA) with a local store manager. I confronted her after finding numerous phone calls made from her phone to a strange number including a voice message telling her �he was on the way to meet her�. She said those calls were made by a friend (girl) of her. I never believed it until I paid big $ to the cell company to retrieve a call history and there it was the real true. She was calling this guy for over a year (I couldn't affort to pay for more prints out). I confronted her again. She couldn�t deny my discovery but never told me who was the OM. She started with the typical script ILYBINILWYAM. I implanted a GPS in her car and subscribed to get free call histories from her phone.

The following 6 months to a year it was a complete chaos. She repeated over and over all negative aspects of our 28 year marriage (now 30). She said she wanted to divorce, or separate b/c she needed �space�. I continued with the FBI style interrogations and she swear to God that there wasn�t another man, she said he was only a friend. I stopped the interrogations when I noticed she was one step out of the door. I started to rebuild our M by reading text books from this site and other forums (including the Bible). I asked her for NC agreement, she agreed. She knew I was after something and stopped the phone calls from her cell. I did a very bad intel job BTW. I was able to get the OM name using reverse phone. Using zabasearch I got different addresses. Finally after 3 months retrieving information from the GPS it showed me some weird places she was stopping by, including the OM place of work. I confronted her about her whereabouts (without revealing my intel source of course) she was amazed to know how much I knew, she said I was very smart. Little by little the GPS info revealed less and less of those weird stops she was making (she was using public pay phones). It took around 1 year for the GPS to show normal planned routes. She agrees on transparence, she always call me telling me where she is. She never hides her cell again, etc, etc. Committed to marriage? She doesn�t want to talk about our relationship and neither wants me to talk about the A. I promised her I will stop.

In around 1 year I left numerous voice messages in the OM phone. I never got a reply from him. I hired a PI friend of mine and (1 year later) I got every bit of information on this predator. I parked my car for several hours near his house. I followed him instead of my wife. Never found anything suspicious. I never saw the OMW, I even thought they were divorced or separated until about 1 month ago that I spotted her (OMW) at their driveway coming from school (she has a 10 yo D with the OM and a 20 yo S from her previous marriage, the stepson of the OM not living with them).

At mid of last year I sent her son a message thru FB telling him to inform her mom about what was going on. Meanwhile, my ww continued to express not remorse, she never admitted the A. She still says it was nothing. I found journals where she expresses her love for him, a big heart with his name and my ww name on it, hidden country music CD�s (she always hated country music, in fact, we are not from this country), and 100�s of other signs (I don�t want to make this post too long) including withdrawal, I found her crying a couple of times during the first 8-12 months.

I continued my hard work of recovery. Dedicated all my time to her and our D19 meeting their emotional needs. I did not expose the A. My son was suspecting something but never asked me. Our life still is a roller coaster. One day we could be ok and the next misery.

After almost 2 years intimacy and sex is just coming back little by little. She still doesn�t want me to touch her intimate parts. We don�t make love, just sex, like �hurry up, I cannot wait too long�. Before I discovered the A I was able to get more than that.

Now the dramatic part of my sitch. About 2 months ago something happened. I invited my family to a local restaurant and there was the OM seating on the bar by himself eating something. I directed my family to a table far away from this [censored] just to avoid any confrontation. For my surprise, the OM paid the bill and walked to a window outside the restaurant and started laughing and waving me a sarcastic bye (like yes I screwed your wife and you can do nothing, ho ho ho) I showed him a �finger� then he insinuated something like he wanted to fight with me LOL. I told everyone to ignore him. My daughter asked who this guy was (I told her everything when we got back home), my SIL didn�t say anything, and my wife was playing dumb (she was defending the OM when we discussed this back home, she said he wasn�t picking up a fight. My wife was facing me and away from the window, she didn�t see anything). Anyway, next day I wrote a letter to the company where this guy works directed to his boss asking him to do something (relocation, removal) to avoid a clash between him and me. He said he couldn�t do anything. I called my attorney and instructed me to wait for another sign of violence and file for a �repeated violence� at the court system.

The OM called me and told me that I made a mistake by telling his boss and his son. He told me I�ve mistaken him for another person that he doesn�t know my wife. LOL. I barked back to him loud, I asked him to stop calling me just to tell me lies. I told him �how come my wife knows you? You mother f*#r� and blah blah blah.. He�s son wrote me a message telling me to �grow up and stop being a baby�, and then he said that I didn�t �learn a lesson�. I sent him a response with a very strong contain. I believe he never delivered the message to his mom (OMW).

Since then, I always see the OM laughing on me and waving me �good-bye�. We work and live near.

But guess what, I prepared my last assignment. I have a package ready to be delivered to the OMW personally where it shows everything from the beginning including my ww call history. That will help to recover from his amnisia. It might looks like retaliation but I�m tired of the whole BS. After that, I now he will call me again, with those phone records I will file for a restriction order against him. Period.

I�m determined but still I need your feedback. I know you are going to ask: is your ww still in contact with the OM? I don�t know. She�s still driving around with a GPS in her car, nothing back�

Yes, of course expose OMW asap - you should have started the exposure from her.

But since OM already knows you are after him (and probably warned his wife about you), your package should contain solid proof and should be handed personally and directly to OMW.

I remind you that exposure message should be about saving your marriage not bashing your WW or OM. Just facts.

Sounds like you have a plan, it is time to act. Expose and move your family away from OM.

Exposure is the very first step in a recovery with out it your marriage is not save, your WW will find someone else to sleep with.

Everyone should know what happened your family, and your kids.

Yes, I would deliver the package to the OMW, but I would strongly suggest you do something about recovering your marriage. There is no marriage here. There is nothing to save. What is being done about that?

My heart goes out to you. Though not exactly the same, I completely understand your anger. It hurts and is humiliating to be repeatedly lied to and played the fool (thus, the surveillance)...and never knowing what you don't know, assuming the worst.

In my struggle to overcome the anger I feel/felt about OW (who has also made some snide comments to me, feed my H negatives about me, twisting his thoughts, and all the while, probably laughing at me)...no matter how angry I am with HER (as well as my H -- but mostly with her)...the WORST thing I can do is come at her,....I have and it only backfired for me, because it just ends up making me look bad by doing it. I don't want to be combative,...yet, I don't wanna be seen as a doormat. I still have so much anger about the sneakiness and being deceived...I feel threatened by her (but not in anyway I can legally do anything about)...and I have endured a great deal of hardships with H leaving me...his family....for a manipulative, Jezebel,....a complete stranger, really. So,...the best I can do is overcome it as best I can without being in her face,...I don't want her around ---ever----I want no contact with her ---ever----...and by H vowing to have NC and see her as a threat to our marriage,...I am trusting him to be willing to do whatever it takes to come together on this,...weather the storm and lock her out. She's a nothing. But, it takes the spouse being on your team to lock the windows and the doors....and not be opening windows without you knowing.

I am curious to know if your WW cell phone is covered under your family plan? If not, please share details of how you got the records. My H's phone is company paid and I have no way to see the call record.

Bomb will be drop next week. They are out of town on vacation.

Yes, the cell bill is in my name

who is on vacation out of town?

the om and his w

my ww is around ...i'll post later

No exposure yet
The OMW and OM still on vacation

Bomb away!!!! I delivered the evidence to the OMW. I knocked on her door today. There were other relatives in there.She acted as she knew. She asked for my name and then she said said "oh you are (my name)" ...the best Christmas gift I have eve given myself. I feel so confortable now...Merry Christmas every one....Iwill keep you posted

I decided to drop this bomb since (by using the GPS phone/instamapper) I discovered my wife stopped in front of 2 payphones, she maybe called the OM, and also she stopped at the OM formelly work place, to leave a Xmas gift to the OM? who knows.
I cronfronted her and she asked how I knew where she was. I never revealed my source. I told her I followed her and saw her at the payphone. She collapsed in tears and had a nervious break down. She told me to be with her while she recovered after taking some depression medications.

The OM house maybe in flames right now and the OM maybe under a heavy interragation.

My wife became very lovely with me. She denies and wont admit to anything

Next time, DON'T LIE. You don't want to reveal your sources of intel but you don't want to become a liar too. You could say something like, "People have lots of ways to check up on their spouse, want a cookie?"

I don't think he lied to her, Scotty. He just didn't reveal his source. If questioned about how he knew, I'd suggest he say "I just know." As opposed to insinuating anything about 'checking up' on anyone.

Well done!

I was talking about THIS.

This indicates the affair never ended. It just went further underground. Does the OMW have a way to contact you so you can stay in touch and kill this affair?

Thanks for your replies. Scoth, Im sorry I don't remember exactly what I said but I insinuaded that I knew she was on a payphone. Also I asked her why she needed to use a payphone if she has a cellphone. Then she collapsed.

Melody. Yes the OMW has all our phone numbers. I gave her around 10 pages containing the call history, a letter that I sent to the OM boss, a text containing the conversation between her S20 and me thru FB where I urgently told him to contact his mom and let her know. I believe this kid never did. Well, everything looks calmed. She hasn't called or texted my wife yet. But you know,I have a feeling that she knew all this ???????? or maybe the POSOM already brainwashed her.

I switched to instamapper. The Trackstick info was retrieved too late when she stopped in front of one of the payphones like 3 weeks ago. Since this time after 2 years she started acting suspicious. again

BTW, I changed my account from dgtal just in case. My W is using my laptop and I just don't want her to know about this forum.

I had a hard time setting up the instamapper w/ the boostmobile. First my W caught me playing with the phone. I told her I found it at the airport, brand new phone...you are lying to me she said...i convinced her later that i've found it at the airport where i work.. Next day I went with my nephew and pretended I returned to a lady at the front desk of the place where i told my W i found it. 3 hours later I went back there and got it back. When I had everything ready to test it. The website went down. I was still using the Trackstick. The Trackstick is a good tool but you have to make some tricks to retrieved the data without being caught.

The boost mobile was nicely connected to the car battery.