I am sure he told her a lie about his "moving on." I seriously doubt that he told her the truth, ie: I am having an affair with skanky and have abandoned my family and marriage for this ho.

I told his mother exactly what he told me then I told her about his "interest". She doesn't condone adultery but she is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Though she's being supportive, it's still her son I guess.

He lied to his friend/co-worker because she wouldn't condone what he's doing. I am friendly with this co-worker and we've spent some time with each others families. He's a teacher and OW is a nurse who works with one of his students. She works for a collaborative but is paid by the school district. I don't think school district could be bothered with such trivial matters.

He told me that he told her and that she guessed who the OW was so he told her that too. She was wondering how he had gotten caught. He told her he didn't get caught, he told me the truth.

How do I make sure that I read the responses that are to me?

Your husband lied to her and no, she is not being "supportive." No caring mother would sit by idly while her son behaved in such a low down trashy mannner. You need to speak to her and make sure she has the truth and ask her to TRULY SUPPORT her son by killing the affair and by stopping her enablig of the affair.


Ok, many school districts do take adultery very seriously and I assure you that the OW's company would take it seriously too.

You can cause enormous damage to this affair if you strategically expose this affair. Affairs thrive on secrecy so exposing it will ruin the fantasy. When your H's female coworkers find out what is going on, the OW will become a pariah at school. You can enlist the help of others to run her off.

This is your greatest chance to save your marriage. Your H is high on an addictive affair and by exposing it, you will ruin it. Ruin the affair and you have a chance to save your marriage.

I would methodically and calmly expose this affair. Send a letter to the Director of Human Resources, the school principal, the school superintendent, and the same cast of characters at the OW's employer. [we have a sample letter]

Compile a list of some of your H's coworkers and send them an email on the same day telling them about the affair and asking for their support in persuading your H and skanky to end their affair.

On this same day, call up your MIL and all your close relatives on both sides. Tell them about the affair, tell them you are trying to save your marriage and ask them to use their influence to persuade your H to end his affair.

Ask your MIL to contact the OW directly and tell that old ho to buzz off.

Sit your kids down the night before you do this and tell them all about their dad's affair. Tell them you are trying to save your marriage.

And lastly, consider taking a couple of friends and paying the OW a personal visit. LEt her know that hell is coming her way if she does not stay away from your husband. Let her know if this doesn't stop you will be filing on grounds of adultery and will have her sorry vile [censored] hauled into court to give testimony under oath. Let her know there is no future for her because she will be eternally hated by your kids and your in-laws for breaking up their family.

This plan is the best chance you have at saving your marriage. Once you kill the affair, you can start working on the carrot of Plan A.

I am not so sure the school district would consider it a trivial matter. It sounds like your husband is a Special Education teacher and the OW is a support person included in the child's IEP. In that situation, the school district's legal department could have to deal with two possibilities: 1) OW claims sexual harassment by your husband and sues school district; 2) Parent claims child was neglected because OW and your husband were so busy with each other that child's care suffered. Long shots? Probably, but not impossibilities and not something a school district would consider trivial.

I can't speak for every parent, but if the child was mine (and I do have a special needs child), I would be livid. I want the people that are paid to educate and/or care for my child to be focused on him and his needs... not flirting with one another.

The parents of the student should also be told the OW is having an affair with his teacher. They have a right to know their child is being exposed to unfit adults.

I would feel the same. All hell would break loose if my son's nurse and teacher were having an adulterous affair. I would want my child removed from that environment.

Maybe she did, and maybe you imagined it. Maybe she did, because she knew and didn't want to talk with you about it. Maybe she suspects and didn't want to alarm you with her suspicions. You don't know any of this for sure. You need to confirm it for yourself.

The child will most likely not be the one removed from the environment... the nurse or teacher would be. But yes! The situation would change and quickly.

Hey soblue! Glad you came here...

I am SoBblue's friend ans sister-in-law. I came here and got help and am still working in recovery. My husband and soblue's are brothers and used to be close friend until my husband's affair.

soble please listen and expose to the school! Please listen to meodylane and others

It's time to go ape-**** on this affair. First get a good exposure letter and send it to your WH's HR representative, his boss, and his boss's boss. If he works for the school district, bring it up to the board. Make there be consequences for his behavior. Consequences will change someone's behavior. Right now he just comes and goes as he pleases. Secondly, I would get with a lawyer and file for legals separation. It protects you financially, and it exposes him to some REAL financial consequences. Get yourself primary custody, and get spousal and child support directly deducted from his paycheck. That ought to put a damper on his affair. Also, find out who OW is, find out info about her (hire a PI if you have to), and expose to anyone and everyone that knows her. Chase her off. Expose to her employer, expose to her family, her friends, her ex husband (if she still isn't married). Let everyone know what a homewrecker she is. You want to do everything in your power to break them up. The quicker they break up, the quicker your husband comes home. You just try and exepedite the process.

Also, what state do you live in, because proof of infidelity can help in the case financially as well, so it would be even more consequences.

Hi MBJG! I am amazed at your MIL. Was she so uncaring in your situation?

I'm so scared and confused. I don't want to deal with his anger. He can be brutal with his rages. Is there a template for the letter that I could send to his principal?

What should I ask from his mother?

We live in Massachusetts. Everything goes here and there really aren't any consequences for adultery.

Mother in Law cares deeply but doesn't know what to do...she is upset and very confused on how both of her sons cheated / walked away from their families in one year's time. Her way of coping though is by essentially tell him he is selfish and it isn't right...but no actions to follow through. Right now she is enabling- soblue's husband/her son can stay at the house (no rent) and come and go when he pleases...and she takes care of the dogs and chickens for him when he isn't there with the mindset that this helps soblue as well.


STAY STRONG TODAY SOBLUE! I know it's a sweet day- and a hard day this year.

Okay, she's a mother who is enabling her sons. But she's also a grandmother. I would enlist her support in putting pressure on her son to end his affair in light of the fact that her grandchildren will be affected forever by a divorce. AND Grandmother will have much less time with her grandchildren. Can she be made to understand that this matter affects the WHOLE family structure? That it's not just some little private thing her son is doing by himself?

Do yourself a favor. Carry a voice activated digital recorder with you. If he comes over and rages, just record it. I don't know the laws in your state, so you might need to check with your lawyer (for taping without his knowledge. If you aren't allowed to do that in MA, I would just pull it out so he knew you were recording. That should shut him up. And if not, you can use it against him. Maybe you can get a restraining order against him. Remember, people rarely change until they hit rock bottom. You are there to help him hit rock bottom the fastest, so he can start getting back up. Don't be afraid if his rages. He is using them to manipulate and control you. Take that power back from him.

soblue, i need you to collect yourself and strategically execute all of these exposures on the same day. Can you do this? Exosing to everyone on the same day causes a tsunami effect that creates the greatest impact. It prevents the affairees from pre-empting you with the crazy wife story. Do you understand?

So please sit down, write out all the targets you think would be most effective, friends, employers, pastors, family members. AND your children. Get your list ready and then determine the best day you can get to all or most of these people. Come back here and lets discuss your plan and your timing.

I will post a sample letter for the workplace exposures in the next post.

When you call your MIL, tell her that WS is having an affair with Skanky and that is why he left. He is carrying on the affair from the comforts of her home. Ask her to support you in saving your family for you and your kids. ASK HER ADVICE and see how she would feel about calling the OW and persuading her to leave WS alone. [give her skanky's #]

Try and find the OW's facebook page. If you can't find one, then try and find her parents contact info and add them to your list. Find out as much as you can about her! Do you know of any of her friends?

If your H has a problem with rages, I would plan on being AWAY somewhere safe when you do this exposure. Do you have a relative you and the kids can stay with for a couple of days?

Has your H ever hit you?

Developed by Brits Brat, board member and corporate attorney

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,

BS