Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
I'm posting this here, though it might as well work in "Surviving An Affair"

For Christmas, my son received a book entitled something like "In 50 Years....We'll all be Chicks!" The premise is that the "political correctness" of "modern civility" has basically turned modern Western man into a mess of fear and worry about doing something which would permit the femi-Nazis to label him, as unevolved, a neanderthal!

Well, reading through the posts of the last dozen male(?)BS's in SAA has brought me to the following conclusion:"BRING BACK THE NEANDERTHALS!"

Seriously, these men, betrayed and cuckholded by their wives, present themselves as weepy, cringing victims of scheming calculating uber-women, and so beaten down that they will do anything to avoid more abuse (or, worse: displeasure!) by the WW's.

They won't threaten divorce, they won't expose, they won't take difficult stands, they won't stand up for their basic rights! They're practically ovulating, in their weepiness and helplessness.

I'm not advocating that all men swagger around with "Stanley Kowalski" mentalities, but they also should not be playing the part of "Blanche Dubois"! When I found out about my wife's EA, I don't think my reaction would possibly have been viewed as "understated" or "civilized". I'm not all that proud about some of it (being arrested was no fun!), but if nothing else, she knew that deep down our marriage was important to me, and I wasn't going to let her continue playing her game. Her immediate NC, remorse and efforts to help me heal were triggered by this knowledge.

If men show this little backbone after being smacked by their wives' infidelity, it's not hard to see why those same wives had so little regard for their husbands' feelings and responses, opening the gates for their affairs. Returning some real "maleness" to today's supposed "males" would likely prevent a great deal of female "confusion" about the joint roles of a marriage. (Two "wives" are obviously not working well!)

We might need a movement along the lines of neo-Neanderthalism. Who's with me?

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by NeverGuessed
We might need a movement along the lines of neo-Neanderthalism. Who's with me?


ummmmmm, who do you think has been leading this movement on this forum for 10 years?? I have been injecting a little TEXAS SWAGGER in your peers on this forum for YEARS! Man up, boys!!

I want commission!! laugh


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,164
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,164
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I want commission!! laugh

You can have a percentage of DrH's ad revenue for this site! laugh


Me - 44
DW - 39
Married 16 years
DS10
DS6
DD4
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by bitbucket
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I want commission!! laugh

You can have a percentage of DrH's ad revenue for this site! laugh

I want commission from you MEN for helping your brethern!! Pay up, bubba! grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
M/L -

I've read your history, and I certainly would acknowledge that a woman who takes a bat to her WH's car causing $2000 worth of "outrage" would be "man" enough, to help me in my crusade!

You go, "guy"! hurray

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Well, a beat down was not exactly my idea of manning up! TEEF


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Well, just to demonstrate the "castration" imposed by society in the years between our actions, in the early-morning hours of "d-night" I was arrested for (wait for it.........) breaking her glasses! mad grumble mad

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
Do y'all smell that?

That's right. Testosterone. The most beautiful of all hormones.

For all of you guys facing an affair from your WW. You need to immediately watch every episode of Spartan: Blood and Sand (on Starz) and then go to action.

Last edited by kilted_thrower; 12/28/10 01:35 PM.

Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Did you break them on her face?


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
Originally Posted by CWMI
Did you break them on her face?

I'm going to assume no. Because he'd be a moron to think it was silly for getting arrested for domestic violence.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
An interesting slideshow about a documentary regarding this very topic.

http://www.anemasculatingtruth.com/downloads/An_Emasculating_Truth.pdf


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Hey, I was arrested for domestic violence, was still on the phone with 911 while holding a knife over my exh. Nevermind I was bleeding and had broken bones and he didn't have a mark on him. They arrested me (him, too, of course) and said it was for brandishing the knife and I said "How the F did you think I got to the phone???"

I still blame OJ Simpson. His trial was going on at the time, in the same county, cops even apologized for it, blamed him, too! lol.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Quote
Did you break them on her face?
Sadly, no, that might have made it worth it!
When I pushed her away from me, fairly forcefully, they flew off and broke. The gendarmes then decided I had done so "recklessly", and since they were entirely hers, and cost more than $250 (she's as blind as a bat without them) I had committed "criminal mischief".

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
Wellll...I suppose if she took a baseball bat to him then he was in all rights. That's stupid you were taken to jail for self defense.

I believe there is a huge difference between domestic violence and self defense regardless of being a man or a woman. I have a friend that for some reason let his wife hit him over and over again. I finally had to quit hanging around him because the way he let his wife run all over him irked me so bad. One day he finally snapped, hit her back, she called the police, and he went to jail.

Last I heard he was sitting in prison for 3 years for assault and domestic violence and whatever else his wife threw at him.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
ooh...criminal mischief. The detectives talked to me after my arrest and asked me how I would handle it differently if anything like that happened in the future and I said, "Yeah, I'd stab him, then call!" lol...they let me go. smile


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
An interesting slideshow about a documentary regarding this very topic.

http://www.anemasculatingtruth.com/downloads/An_Emasculating_Truth.pdf

lol! (good rule of thumb: if you have to specify it�s for a man, then it
probably isn�t.)


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 858
D
dkd Offline
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 858
Interesting topic. Personally speak, I back down from masculinity at times because I don't know how to deal with the consequences of my actions. For example, I'm a big enough guy, but I'd never engage in a fight as I have no idea how I'd take a hit nor what kind of damage I'm capable of. Even in non-violent type activities, it's as though I don't have the experience to really know what it's about in many cases.

But it is sad though. A while back my 6 year old son was having issues with getting into fights. I was really rather proud of him because in every case he was reacted to someone knocking over his blocks, taking his snack, etc, and always with friends of his. Sadly, parents and teachers had to get involved instead of letting friends work it out. Now, he has to pretty much be a tattle tale. Granted, if he could have picked a better response in most cases, but the fact that he responded and didn't take it was great. What 6 year old has the wisdom to get it right every time.

Anyways...


Me 38
Divorced 8/09
DS 10,6
DD 4
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Back to real manliness...have you read Art of Manliness? Google it, it's a blog, very good. Tends to hone in on when men were men, which was...um...well, a nice place between neanderthal and now.

I tend to see the whole male/female thing as: gals don't like brutes or femmes, and guys don't like ditzes or butches...we all like people who know when to use the harder or softer sides of our characters.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
Well put!

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Quote
we all like people who know when to use the harder or softer sides of (their) characters.
Exactly. The problem is evidently that the "harder" sides
of male characters have atrophied from lack of exercise! [Linked Image from media2.intoday.in]

Page 1 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5