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Joined: Dec 2010
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OP
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My h of 21yrs recently started texting inappropriate things back and forth with a woman he does business with but denies actual physical touch.
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Joined: Oct 2009
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My h of 21yrs recently started texting inappropriate things back and forth with a woman he does business with but denies actual physical touch. Welcome, alonewithin. Sorry you had to find your way here. Can you tell us a little more about this? How did you find out? Did he confess? We need to hear a little more of your story so we can respond.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Dec 2010
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OP
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let me back up abit...in 16th yr of marriage I was cleaning up computer and found the nearly 2000 hours of porn my H had viewed. I thought he was having an affair. When confronted he begged forgiveness promising nothing even close to it would ever happen and offerred to have no privacy time on computer. We managed to survive and for several yrs I have trusted him. A few months ago while he was on computer he rec.d a text message and told me I could check it...in case it was one of our kids...instead it was from a woman buyer/H is industrial salesperson...about him being (female genitalia) wiped. After many lies and denials H admits that they have been sending each other male/female genitalia pictures and jokes for a few months.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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After many lies and denials H admits that they have been sending each other male/female genitalia pictures and jokes for a few months. I would strongly suggest you ask him to take a polygraph because he is still lying. They obviously slept together and you can clear this up and other questions with a polygraph. Is he ever away from you overnight? Is the OW married? Do you have kids?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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We managed to survive and for several yrs I have trusted him. Mistake No. 1. Sorry, alone, but you should never completely trust your spouse. That left the door open for his continued unfaithful behavior. I suspect that he sensed your trust in him and probably just took his behavior farther underground so he wouldn't make the mistake of being caught again. Have you checked his phone records? Emails? Have you done any snooping to learn more about this? (Without his knowledge - do not tell him anything about snooping!)
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Dec 2010
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OP
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Nothing on computer, has rec.d no emails, of course she calls but she works for a company he sales to and she places the orders, I called her-she said I didn't have to worry about her (right) I pointed out their texting being very inappropriate and she agreed stating several of them were really rounchy...I only knew of two at the time
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my kids were 8,9,and10 when we married 21years ago. He has been their dad. We have 2 grandchildren. He never stays away from home.
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Nothing on computer, has rec.d no emails, But how do you know? I would suggest you buy a keylogger and install it on his computer. He could very easily be hiding his tracks. You need to know the extent of this.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Nothing on computer, has rec.d no emails, of course she calls but she works for a company he sales to and she places the orders, I called her-she said I didn't have to worry about her (right) I pointed out their texting being very inappropriate and she agreed stating several of them were really rounchy...I only knew of two at the time alone, is this woman married? And if so, does her H know she is having an affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Mar 2008
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Maybe her company should be notified of what is going on during buisness time.
What about your H? If this is going on at work, work exposure should happen (the more eyes on the partners, the better)
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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