my story!

anyway.

me and my wife had been talking about getting back together. well on the 21st of this month she had chest pain and asked me to take her in. found out she had a blood clot in her lung. i spent nearly every day there helping her get better.

then on the 23rd "david" called. she was getting a X-ray so i answered the phone. he didn't believe i was there or her husband heh. ohwell. I also looked on her phone and found he called every other day or she was calling him (mainly he was calling her)

my wife and I did a lot of talking while she was in the hospital after he called. we agreed to put off the divorce for 6 months and work on things. she agreed that she would call him and tell him to NOT contact her in any way and she would not contact him.

While takeing my kids out for lunch she said she made the call.

she was let out on the 27th. I stayed at her house a few days. I also took her into town (20 mile drive) every day for her doctor appointment and made sure she had her prescriptions.

he continued to call and she ignored it until i left and then called him once.

We had marriage counseling yesterday. She told the counseler the only way she would stop talking to david is if i threw my computer out (I am on disability and it is my main hobby). then she said the only way she would stop talking to him is if I agree to her custody wish's (i have custody of the kids. she gets 1 day and every other weekend).

well on the way home she had a fit. she would speed up to 60 and slam on the brakes. she slugged me in the shoulder a few times and stole my phone (but latter gave it back). eventually when we get to her house she calmed down and we talked.

We came to a agreement on everything. I said great then you can call david and tell him no more contact. she ok..but she can't gurentee he won't call her. i said thats fine we can block that. I explained how we can block numbers with Verizon.

She said well..she can't do that since there is a problem. Ok she was in the hospital and i know she was not pregnant..so i didnt know what it was.

last month she moved into a trailer at a park. usually you don't rent them and have to buy them. but she kept claiming she was renting it (even though she had to buy new toilets and pay someone to put them in).

Well come to find out David "loaned" her the money to get it (well $3,000 the trailer was only 6 not sure where the other 3k is..). i gotta admit when i found this out i went home. She asked if we were still going to work on saving the marriage i told her i didnt know. this was something i had to think about as it's rather major.

since she was in the hospital for most of her visatation i agreed that she could have those missed days. but i had plans on the 2nd to see my family and i wanted to take the kids. But since i refused to talk to her (she was changing what we agreed on and i refused to discuss it) she got mad. she said how she was going to invite david over today and [censored] him even with the kids there. Also she was not going to allow me to have the kids sunday (even though i have court papers saying i do).


and she continues to say how he is just a friend. bah

so hope your christmas was better then mine..

Those demands should have been a red flag to you that reconciliation was likely not what was on her mind.

I do hope that you did not agree to any change in custody arrangements! Last thing you want to do is expose your kids to more time with an active WW.

I suggest that if she in any way tries to circumvent what the court has decided wrt custody, do not let it slide by - engage your lawyer and act accordingly. Your WW sounds like she's in full Taker mode, and letting things slip will embolden her even further.

well i can say this year is not starting out any better.

I should mention Thursday we had marriage counceling. on the way home she got mad because i wouldnt do everything she asked. so she hit me a few times and drove very dangerouse. on Friday she shoved me into a wall and hit me in front of the kids.

as i said we been working on it. i talked with her friday night and told her we are so close its not worth throwing away. she made a comment that she was tired. i asked why she mentioned she stayed up late "talking" come to find out david stayed the night.

i was upset. she hung up on me. i called david and asked What is going on between them. i hear my wife in the background telling him to just hang up.

then she calls me back. i tell her i will be there in 10 minutes to get the kids.

i get there and david is gone (wich was good). She refuses to give me the kids even though its my time.

i call the cops. It was a female sheriff that came out and she talked to me for 2 minutes then went in and talked to my wife for about 6. she came out and first thing she said is i was not getting my kids. She even threatened to arrest me for saying anyone that would let her keep the kids when she is bringing a guy she has known 5 months and the fact she has assaulted me is insane. any law that allows it is insane.

after finally getting her to let me talk and look at the court papers she goes in and talks to my wife. she gets her to agree to bring the kids to my house at noon. the sheriff said that is all she can do (it was about 11am at that time).

so i go home call the local sheriff (diffrent county)and tell them what is going on. i have lunch and try to calm down.

the sheriff gets to my house at 11:55. he comes in and we talk about well everything (sports, my lunch (it stunk), kids etc) until about 10 after. he asked if she has called me to say she ain't comeing. i said she has called about 12 times i have not answered. i told him i do not want to talk to her i want nothing more to do with her.

well he decided to call her. she said she is not coming and was told by the other sheriff to not take the kids over. he told her he would be calling the other sheriff to get the facts and it will be in a report.

he said there was nothing he can do farther and told me good luck.


so thats whats going on.

You should call the sheriff/police when she hits you and file abuse charges against her and do NOT back down from them.

If you have legal papers giving you custody of the children, the sheriff most certainly CAN do something about it!

Get your lawyer on the ball!

Have you exposed this affair?

Sounds like domestic violence to me. Have you reported this?

Also, this:


Seems at odds with this:


I suggest following up with your local sheriff to see what was the outcome of that discussion he had with the other sheriff. If the other sheriff told your WW to not drop the kids off by you, there should be consequences for that.

Have you discussed these latest developments yet with your lawyer?

i left a message with my lawyer. he is out of t he office today.

both officers chewed me out for not calling them on thursday or friday about her hitting me again. She is on probation for doing it 3 months ago. i didn't want her to go to jail.

yes i know i should have. i made that mistake before.

yes i know i need to stand up more and do this.

I am scared for you and your kids! I mean, she is trying to take her family down a deathly perilous road WITH her now and it's not to be done.

Please get an order of protection against her right now. She is dangerous and has struck you, threatened your very life w/her crazy driving and don't think she might do that with the kids either.

When I was a senior in college in a specialty program, one of my classmates was a newlywed. Her H was apparently not the man she (or any of us) thought he was, he'd cheated on her and had anger issues. She told him at a dinner one night that she wanted to separate, and on the way home, as he was driving her home, he deliberately slammed the car into part of an underpass and the car flipped 2 x. She (my classmate) almost died, and was in the hospital for over 2 months.

That is what can happen when you see warning signs and do nothing about them. Do not get into the car w/her again. Do not get around her. Do not let the kids around her either. I'm sorry, but this wayward must hit rock bottom and reach up for help. You cannot have contact with her as she is an abusive spouse and could become any day an abusive parent too.

Please do not take her abuse lightly. Stand up to it and man up to her. Keep yourself and the kids SAFE.

What Peachyisback said.

well i got to get the kids today. I talked to her on teh phone last night and told her i would be there between 9-10am with the ogle county sheriff.

she said on the phone unless she goes with me the children will NOT get in my car.

well i went over and the sheriff came over. Same one as the other day. she asked why she is there again. i told her since my wife is violent i wanted them there to make sure its smooth.

we get to my wife's place (we were parked at the entrance to the sub-division) and i was in the car. she was in talking with my wife for about 10 minutes and she came out. i got out of my car and the officer ask me if i called my wife. i told her yes she knew i was coming over at this time to get them. she told me to get back in the car I asked what was going on and where my kids were. she told me to get in the car and shut up.

I told her i am the victim here and she needs to learn some manners and courtesy. not every male is a evil [censored] and not every person is a criminal. She told me she does not enjoy babysitting adults who can't control themselves. i laughed and got in my car.

my wife came out about 5 minutes latter with the kids. EVEN though it is MY TIME and i have CUSTODY of the kids the sheriff told me i have to have the kids back to my wife by 7pm or i would end up in jail.

So. to recap. I have court ordered custody of my 2 children. It was my time to have them back. wife refuses and the sheriff refuses to give to me and orders me to give them back by a time or I GO TO JAIL. really how [censored] up is that?

I am just thankful tomorrow is divorce court. i prey that it is done and i never have to see my wife (soon to be ex) ever again.

but since i have 2 kids that won't happen.

I suspect that the sheriff is being fed a line of baloney from your WW. I suggest discussing a strategy with your lawyer about how to counter this, because it's best that she be on your side, now your WW's.

Also, under the conditions of the court order regarding custody of your children, did you have to get them back to your WW by then?

interesting day at court to say the least.

we brought up that she refused to let me have the kids saturday. the judge let it slide saying it was a weekend and i did allow her to have extra time.

my lawyer asked her how many adults are living in her trialer (its 2 bedroom) she mentioned her and her sister (she is 18). My lawyer asked if about a adult male staying over and how often. after a argument with her lawyer she admited he is staying whenever the chidlren aren't around. so 3-4 days a week.

ok so yeah..she had lied to me. when we were trying to get back together and work it out he was sleeping over at her house 3-4 days a week..

my lawyer asked where the kids sleep. my wife said my daughter (8) shares a bedroom with her sister (18) and my son (4) sleeps with her. my lawyer asked where this guy sleeps. she said he does not stay when the kids are over. my lawyer asked ever? she said no. he has NEVER slept over when the kids are there. then he pulls out a copy of a police report from t his weekend where she says she wouldn't let the kids go with me because i found out she had him sleep over with my kids in the house.

she said oh yeah she forgot about that.

She also got cought lying about income.

Her older sister testified that i never do anything with the kids and that my wife is the only one that takes care of them. on cross examanation my lawyer asked her how often she comes over to see that. she admited seh only comes over on birthdays or holidays. so he asked her what she is baseing her decision on. she said oh thats what my wife tells her.



we should get the results on the 17th.

though i am supposed to get the kids today at 4:30. my attorney told me to call if she refuses and to call the cops and he will go back in court on "show cause"? or something like that.

now if i can just get my wife to stop calling me. she wants to continue to talk about it and i have asked her to stop calling me. only contact me about the kids or a emergancy. otherwise i won't call her and i don't want to talk to her. Hell i want her the fudge out of my life.

Stop picking up the phone. That ought to fix that.

Good job in court!

discarded,

Man you need to seriously 'man'-up. I would hate to be in your situation and am glad I never have been.

That being said, as Marital told you, don't answer your phone unless you have caller ID. It sounds like this woman - your WW - is really vrile! Have you considered a Plan B! Regarding the deputy, if I were you I would file a complaint with that sherrif's dept. That perspn needs to learn how to separate interpretation of the law (ie. a court order) and interpretation of the law. It sounds like this idiot needs to have a complaint filed against her for her to learn the basic rules of law enforcement! Sheesh! It does sound, though, like thru talking to your WW when you have answred her calls you have further ignited a seriously explosive situation. You need to establish the innocent and cordial relationship with this police dept., otherwise the next time they will probably lay you out.

Good luck,

Tom