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The call from David is very interesting. It addresses the issue of affairages, exposure and dealing with anger. edited to add oneplace link to radio show: http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/marriage-builders-radio/
Last edited by MelodyLane; 01/04/11 09:37 PM.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He also discusses the importance of NOT being in contact with your X if the marriage ended due to adultery. He said that trying to be "friends" or "civil" for the sake of the children is unrealistic and not in the best interest of the betrayed spouse. ....or the children. Continued contact only creates anger and upset.
I agree with this advice from a personal standpoint. I don't associate with my cheater XH because it triggers my anger.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I agree with this Mel. When H was unrepentant, my 3 kids wanted nothing to do with him. I know he blamed me thinking I'd turned them against him. I honestly hadn't. They did not want to be associated with him as long as he was not a man they could respect. If you recall, my youngest even sent him a pretty straightforward text about it!
Respect is key in relationships. There's no way I could have respected H if he had chosen to not end his affair and to trash his family. I don't think the kids would've been able to either.
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Bummer, I won't be able to listen to this before 1:00.
If someone would be so kind as to recap it here I would appreciate it.
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Chailover, it is really loooooooooong but you can download the segments here if you go to segments 1 and 2 for the date January 3rd. The call took up half the show so it is quite long. But he touches on so many good subjects during those segments that it was very interesting.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks!! I will download and listen.
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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thanks Susie! I had checked oneplace earlier and the show had not been posted yet.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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