I live in the UK.

I feel they would follow through on the complaint if i keep the exposure pressure on along the lines i have done so far.

To keep everyone up to date here i've sent letters to the om's girlfriend (which i believe she hasn't received due to interception by the om), letters to several heads at my ww and the om's empoyer, several messages through friends reunited site to the om's girlfriend (which i believe she hasn't received due to interception by the om), and also asked for help and support from my ww's sister.

The police even had a copy of the friends reunited message i sent to the om's girlfriend and her reply saying to recognise her position and requesting no further contact be made.

In a nutshell it looks to me as if the om and my ww have sold their story to the police to make me fully back off telling anyone else about them. And it's worked, they have regained control.

Sounds like WW and OM have been successful with ... scaring you into silence.

When you exposed to WW's work, did you send the letter to HR and management?

Hello Delta,

Yes, three letters; one to hr, one to the operations manager responsible for the call centre they both work at, and one to the Uk director head.

I have been scared into silence and never thought it would come from the police! I can't believe the level they have gone to silence me about the affair. The police have said specifically don't attempt to contact the employer, the om, my ww (unless she asks for me too) or the om's girlfriend.

The police are only trying to "make peace." It's too bad you didn't have an attorney with you when you met with them. I haven't been following your thread too closely, but if you haven't already consulted an attorney, now's the time.

It sounds to me like you scored a direct hit. It's not a matter of whether or not they 'sold' their story to the police, the fact is that you got YOUR side out there. The police are just required to respond, and they did.

Your WW and OM's response is immaterial. You EXPOSED the A.

I don't have an attorney appointed (a solcitor in the UK) but a have seen one for advice when my ww left me in November.

Unfortunatley all they seem cared about is in making money and initiating a divorce as quickly as possible. I don't want this... i want my wife back so we can try and rebuild our marriage.

Do you mean see one because of the harassment warning? If so thats a different matter. I feel i would wait untill i had been charged, but i need to avoid that at all costs.

Neil, you don't need a solicitor for the harrassment issue. You were not charged.

Exactly, you weren't charged. An attorney would have been helpful to have with you at the police station to say "Charge my client or leave HIM alone. He's only attempting to save his marriage. THIS is harassment."

Thanks for the advice, thats what i thought, but at times my mind wanders with whats going on.

Should i pull back at this stage everyone and see what happens now?

Is this like starting the scenario of Plan B?

In other words, don't let WW and OW scare you a moment longer.

If you're still scared, an attorney/solicitor will tell you your rights and clarify the law.

You did score a direct hit with exposure. Bravo!

Neil, there is nothing to charge you with or they would have done so. At least in America, you can go down to the police and complain that someone is harrasing you, and they might do the same thing in order to keep the peace.

Do you have a friend or relative who can try to get ahold of the OM's girlfriend and give her the news?

Hello Melodylane,

I'll be honest they have scared me with the police (verbal) warning i've got.

The police took the view in the meeting that i should not make any further contact with the om's girlfriend (they showed me the reply that was sent via the Friends Reunited mail system supposedly from her as well).

I am not comfortable at this time trying to get the news through to the girlfriend by a friend or relative.

I hope this doesn't sound as if i am being too weak here, but i am scared.

I have obtained a works email address for her but cannot work out a way to send an anonymous email without it getting traced back to me.

A big grin from me Mel, Thanks

Neilc:

Don't be afraid. Just be resourceful and keep up the exposure.

No, you don't sound weak. You sound like the police did their job, which was to scare you.

Do you know how many of these types of calls they get every week? It's just one more for them. And they forgot about you before their shift was over.

Just don't let this scare you into backing down. You'll just need to regroup and collect yourself, then get back in there.

Thanks for your help,

I need i feel a plan with different methods for exposure that won't put me at risk of any criminal(police involvment) action.

I know i am strong enough to take the hassle my ww and the om are throwing my way but i've got to back off a bit to get my head around things.

I even thought of sending my ww a recorded delivery letter telling her i am sorry she has felt the need to get the police involved but i am only trying my best to get us working on our marriage back by doing so. I can't imagine the police would take action over a recorded delivery letter that she would have to sign for.

Would this possibly work or am i off the track her? Its so hard when i've been told by her she doesn't want me back ever!

I think that means the big guns are coming out.

What a battle! I know i need every resource i can find to win this one, including those big guns

Neil, seriously think about having someone send an anonymous email...