So I am very new here and have been reading lots of posts. My husband of 7 years is in an A that started out for 3-4 mos as an ea then turned to a pa. He left about 6 mos ago, I filed for divorce 3 mos ago to protect financially since he was no longer depositing paychecks.

The A has been exposed to MANY people. Families, friends, neighbors, the whole town it seems.... but yet their relationship keeps ticking on. My WH has basically pushed away all friends and it seems the OW has possibly done the same. They do stuff together now (around town nontheless), and are ALWAYS getting all the kids together. My H even stays the night at her house with our 2 kids (which I am TOTALLY against and made an agreement with him to not do this.) It seems they have developed this us against the world mentality and it seems that even though their families know about it, both sides are condoning it. (The OW mother accidentally sent me a pic of the OW and her kids that was intended for my WH.) co-workers know and have spoken to him and tried to tell him to stop and he is losing a good thing etx. He just says he hasn't been happy for so long. I don't buy the smoke screen.

I have tried writing the letter to express my love to him and that pushed him away. I avoided the angry outbursts, judgments and demands. They worked for about a month after he left, and then he got back in touch with her and the PA started. Then he started coming back around again, we were talking, eating dinner together, I was doing the above still, things were turning around.... they started talking more and the next thing I knew was they both were asking their spouses for divorces. My wh will only speak to me about things relating to the kids and it's usually only by email. I tried not talking to him but then my attorney said I couldn't do that b/c of communicating for the kids, etc.

I guess I will possibly have to go back to Plan B however I have to communicate iwth him about the kids and this is the only thing he will discuss with me. He has no interest in our house or anything that goes on around here and hasn't since July.

Tips on what to do now???

sounds like my situation (but its my Wife).


I have tried everything to get my wife back. but nothing i did or said i would do was good enough. she always found something else.

Then for some reason she agreed to work on it and get the other man out of her life. she lied and continued to see him on the weekends.


I finally get it. it took a bunch of blows to the head to understand it.

the best thing to do is walk away. get her out of my life and continue on and find someone else that won't treat me the way she has.

i suggest you do the same. it sounds as if he has chosen and no matter what you do he won't notice. well that's not true. he will notice if you continue on with life and are happy. that is the best revenge and ending.

Why have you started a new thread for this, nlf? You have an active thread about this affair, to which you have posted several times today!

If you start a new thread, nobody knows your story. If they want to discover it, they have to view your history and read an existing thread. Many people won't bother searching like that.

I thought I deleted it earlier so I could start this! Oops!! If it's there, I guess I should close this and post the new ? on the other! Thanks

nverlosefaith, when exposure doesn't work immediately, the next step is Plan B!

I am deleting this one (since the other didn't obviously) and going to continue on my other thread. Please offer me advice on just how to do plan B in my current situation over there! THANKS!

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2461321#Post2461321