I am fine. I told you guys that I would be doing productive things that would have NOTHING to do with Bampot. The first day that I PROMISED not to look at WF's page again was HARD. I confessed to some of my friends so I could get some additional, "What did you do that for?" Then I got people talking to me about dating. I asked them, "If Bampot had died 13 months ago, would you be telling me I should date?" Of course they couldn't answer that.

I have been taking up previous hobbies. I finished reading the third Harry Potter book, I have started a cross stitch birth record for my BIL and soon for my Cousin(they are both due in April) and I am going to start crocheting 2 baby afghans. I also have played games with the kiddos and we've been watching a lot of movies. I am trying to keep myself busy OFF of the computer since that is when I feel like checking up on WF's page the most. It's hard, but I am getting through it.

Ah can anyone deny the beauty of a dark plan B, or the clarity of thought from Scotty.

Having lost my wife and not recovered I understand this very much, but even though I know she really screwed up, and I didn't deserve it. It still doesn't change that i was not going to go out and "fix it/me" ,by finding someone else. It just doesn't work that way. Well not for me anyways thanks.

Its losing the whole person, sick or not, that everyone must process in thier own way, in thier own time.

Once again. Scotty has shown that she Rocks

Scotty, if you can keep reading the HP books. They kept me SANE during insane times in my life.

I am just waiting for my friend to give me the next books. I made a deal with her a couple of summers ago. I wanted her to read Twilight(Yes I LOVE those books) and she said she would as long as I read HP. I have seen the first 4 movies and I wasn't really interested in reading the books. After the FIRST page, I was HOOKED. I am glad that I made that deal and kept up my end of the bargain. BTW, my friend liked Twilight too. I would have to say that my favourite series right now is "The Outlander" series by Diana Galbaldon. If you haven't read them yet, I would definitely suggest them.

Looooove Outlander...its been my favorite book for over 10 years...it is so awesome...I have gotten a few of my friends hooked on the series...I havent read them in a while, I think I am going to crack them out now to reread...Havent thought about them in a few years...

My oldest sis has all the Outlander books in hardback, including one that the author signed.

She's a reading teacher who also works part time at an independent bookstore (for the employee discount I think... )

I have all the hardcovers also...but not signed by the author..lucky lucky sis...

Perfect Scotty! We should remember this line to advise other people.

I know that they mean well and that these people truly do love me. They just don't understand. I wouldn't want to jump into a new relationship, besides the fact that I am still married. I don't understand that. They KNOW that I am not divorced. Why would they even suggest dating? I guess they think of my marriage as already over. Even if it doesn't recover, it isn't over right now. I am taking the time I need to become the person I need to become and I don't need a man to do that. Actually, I quite think that I would be better off to do it without anyone else in my life. Besides, I already have 2 demanding little men in my life already and they are more important than any relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I miss being loved the way only a spouse can love me. I miss having someone worry about me coming home late from work. I miss someone who sees only ME when I walk into a room. I miss someone who couldn't keep his hands off of me(not in front of anyone though because he RESPECTED me too much). Bampot really WAS a good husband and father, BEFORE the A of course. We weren't perfect. We had a difficult time adjusting to parenthood. We were both focused on raising the children and doing what we thought was right. Working hard, making sacrifices. BOY were we WRONG.

As you can tell, I got over my close to Plan F/U stuff. See how quickly your emotions can change? Actually, as of Thursday morning, I just kept on moving forward. DrH says that the man should chase the woman in a R, well Bampot is going to have to RUN if he is ever going to catch up to me.

Also, I don't remember if I wrote this on my thread yet, but the other day I was thinking about the comments that Bampot made on WF's wall. He would NEVER have done that on my wall. At first, I was mad about that(I know WHAT WAS I THINKING?). Then I realized, "Of course he wouldn't do that on MY wall. He respected me more." I also respect myself more than to allow someone to write things like that on my wall. I KNOW that his A is a complete disrespect to me and my family. I get that. I am talking about Pre-A.

Well, I fixed my dryer today all by meself. It is up and running again which is good because we were running quite low on clean clothes. Then We watched a couple of movies. DS10's favourite movie is Marmaduke. It was the movie we went to see for his 10th Bday party.

Also, for some reason, DS10 has only spoken to Bampot Tuesday and Today this week. He said he didn't want to talk to him the other days because he is mad at him. He also doesn't want to go over to WF's house anymore. It is heartbreaking to see, but it is out of my hands.

I know Scotty, and you have grasped the truth of how Bampot has lost respect for himself, and doesn't see it. I also know you would do anything to help him if he would just admit he needs it.

You are a lighthouse girl. Praying he sees it and can get over himself soon, so he can be a man again.

Yeah your friends mean well, but its your life, and your marraige, with an alien pod who used to be your husband. If he can ever admit he makes mistakes, and this one was a doozy, well what a prize he has in you.

Scotty, you amaze me!!! I am really impressed with fixing the dryer!

I look back and think of the woulda, coulda, shoulda's I might have done; I wish I had your strength about 6 months ago. But I am trying to take baby steps forward, so I guess no looking back for me.
Whether you R your M or not you have become an amazing person. Bampot has no idea what he is missing out on. I continue to pray for you to have the outcome that will serve you best - whatever that may be.
Hang tight, you continue to inspire.

My bestfriend just called to tell me that her father passed away today. He was like a second father to me. We are all in shock still. It was a heart attack. Her mother just had brain surgery weeks ago to remove aneurysms. She is still recovering. My bestfriend also just moved away to be with her H, as he is in the military. It's sad for everyone.

How terrible. My condolences to you and your friend and her family, Scotty.

I am so sorry Scotty, you have my condolences.

I am sorry for your losses Scotty. You and your Best Friend.

I am sure you will be a great source of comfort for her and she you in this time.

I am very sorry, Scotty. My prayers are with you and your friend's family.

Thanx guys. The funeral is on Thursday and it is also my bestfriend's bday. She changed her FB pic to her dad and I just started crying. I am so sad for her.

I'm so very sorry, Scotty! That's a lot of tragedy to endure in such a short time. My prayers are going up!

And my heart just keeps breaking for my kiddos. DS7's bday is on Friday. He is having a party. BUT, he says he isn't excited. He says that he is sad because he misses Bampot. He wasn't that excited about Christmas either. It really does break my heart. He is also disappointed because Bampot has broken promises already. DS10 still doesn't want to talk to Bampot. He says that he is so mad at him. I don't know what has brought this on now. I hate seeing my children hurting and not being able to do anything to help them.

Scotty, I understand this. My DS15 didn't really ask for anything for Christmas--he really didn't care about it at all. He's got anger and resentment and WH actually thinks "he'll get over it". Um, no he won't because WH has become a person DS neither knows nor respects.