Not really. No rumble.
That's a fake out.

Ready to say THANK YOU


I just wanted to say that what you wrote on Mitzie's thread helped me so very much.

Sometimes, in all the MB noise, a "thank you" can get lost or buried.

THANK YOU NESRE !!!!!

YEAH NESRE! BIG THANK YOU FROM ME TOO!

Mitzie


(p.s.
If I questions about alcoholics and A's,I can come to you?)

(p.s.s.)
Pepperband, love your sig. Got my a** kickin' boots on right now

This is great insight into the mind of an alcoholic. As a BS married to a WW that I am learning is an alcoholic this is extremely helpful. I have tried so hard over the years to fill that hole for my wife.

It hurts me to see her lonely. I have days of progress for months of effort. If I give 100% of myself to her at the expense of everything else in life I still only manage for moments of peace. MB is helping me to understand that only she can ever learn to fill this hole and that only if it is her choice.

Thank you for sharing this insight.

LOL

My H just called.
He said that in his AA meeting this AM, a fist fight broke out between 2 men in the parking lot.
Guess what they were fight about.

I told my H that I know it was probably not funny in person, but over the phone it just made me LOL.

I confess, I laughed at the imagery this story created in my head.
<~~ some alcoholics are

There really should be a law against cockfighting.

Dare I mention the elephant seals again ????

Noooo, probably not.

Bump

Hey Pep

Your welcome. Took me a long time to figure out in the center of a tornado (me when using) the wind is all calm and the winds are ferocious all around(people around me)wherever the tornado goes.

Have been staying very limited with being on the board since WW knows I post here. I don't think she knows my screen name.

The drama still continues. Can't get past the alcohol to even get to the M.

Going to airtight PLB 1/18. DD will not come with this time. Will Be about 5 miles away and supporting her. She will be 18 in August so getting close to the adult status. She will have a key to the place when she needs a place to hide from the sheet storm.

MItzie-Dr.Harley ran several drug/alcohol treatment centers in the past and I can't find the article but he talks about why any one would want to stay w/using addicted person. The jist of his advice was

"RUN FOR COVER". Good words.

Yes we can talk but alcoholics/A's when using but they are so unpredictable that a lot of the sense here on MB's does not even make it through to them.
Gotta Run

Nesre

If your WW is alcoholic try at least 6 Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon will help like no other group can.

Nesre

The problem is I DON'T want to say with an addicted person. I want WH without the addiction...whomever that person may turn out to be...if he's still a cheater and an awful human being I can deal with that because I know it would be HIM and not him shrouded in the alcohol.



Way easier said than done, for me anyway.


Very sad...that whole in your soul...if you don't mind me asking, what ended your abusing and how did you fill that hole or is it in some way still there? Don't mean to be intrusive, just curious.

As you know, my H is in recovery, 15 years.
He's my strong man.
My rock.

I am in a protection mode (not exactly a Plan B) for a different family member who "says" he's sober and going to meetings.
Who knows?
Not my job to police him.


I've limited our communication to very infrequent text messages, because they don't upset me.
Whereas, phone calls always leave me feeling raw and the opposite of serenity.

My serenity IS my job.
I'm doing pretty darn good

Mitzie

You asked




When I wanted to shoot (LITERLY) the man in the mirror when I would come out of a binge it scared me.
M wrecked-W baasically wanted out because I scared her
finances shot-me out of control in every aspect of my life.

After treatment I wondered around lost for many years-just didn't drink. No meetings-no support

The hole in my soul started to heal when I became willing to work the AA program with a sponsor. When I found out what our purpose as a recovered alcoholics is in life from the AA Big Book it was not objectionable. It lines up rather well with the BIGGER Book. (the Bible) I was totally scared of this.

Our purpose is to be of maximum service to God and the people around us.

That is what started the spiritual willingness to grow in all aspects of my life.

I keep making deposits every day. My life is far from perfect. I am a work in progress. The problem is that should I quit making deposits I risk backsliding and I have seen others backslide so far they ended up six feet under looking at the bottom side of the grass..

Nesre

Hey Pep

SO TRUE



In the midst of all the crazyness with lifeover the past several years I welcome the serenity.

I used to feel guilty like I didn't deserve it or it was wrong but now I realize it may not last long so soak it up and enjoy while you can!


I can't live with the crazyness anymore. I am going to move tommorrow. I signed for the apt today. I will try my best to PLB her until the D is final in June.

Nesre

Please, post updates here.
You're helping me more than I choose to disclose.

It is a favor I ask.
Thanks.

I second that Nesre. Check in on us, be a lurker if you must. If you see someone needs help(like ME!)then please advise.

Your statement about AA helped me. My WHs father was a practicing alcoholic since the age of 15(he grew up in the foothills of KY-moonshine country), literally had to run away from home (at 18) and join the Airforce because he was going to go to jail for too many drunk drivings(this back in the 50s when dui's really weren't done, so imagine!). He quite drinking on his own, just stopped one day and never took another drink.My FIL is also someone who does not beleive in God and lives by his own set of rules(abandoning his first wife & kids and stationed himself in Bermuda where he met my MIL). FIL has not drank in over 25 years but is a 'dry drunk'. He didn't care for the practice of AA so only went a few times.

I will pray that my WH gets the help he needs, and I will hope he will attend AA, but he is a lot like his dad in the 'I live by my own set of rules'(obviously!)mind set.

Please don't be a stranger Nesre.

Take care of yourself and remember the old Chinese proverb: The journey is the reward.

Pep-Mitzie

I will keep posting from time to time.



What is a dry drunk


THIS WAS ME FOR 15 YEARS.
I am not so hung up on AA to realize that other ways also work. I have seen other people use church, spirituality, counseling, volunteer work etc. and seem to come out of it. There are other ways and if it works for you great.

NESRE

See what I mean?
The dry drunk link was so appropriate for me right now.

On the other hand, when you find something that works, looking further is rather useless. A.A. has been working for me for nearly 20 years, a fact for which I am grateful and a miracle that continues to baffle me.

"What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?"


Lol Pep.. Lion King ..

I watch it a lot with my DGD.




That is probably the best reason for going to alanon if you are involved with an alcoholic. What most people outside of those situations might not know. is that they are ussually very sensitive and intellegent people, maybe even more so than us. We will probably believe that its us who have the problem, and the alcs are schooled even to protect their choices, bouncing it back at you, that its your fault.

Thats why I hate booze, or drugs as an answer beyond the medical profession. I have seen too many people destroy themselves hiding in them. But hey, its big bussiness and not likely to go away. You just have to avoid them. The law can't seem to keep them out.

Thanks for reposting this quote Pep. More reality again huh?

Yeah.
Ain't that the truth.

I figure that sharing my process, without bogging things down with the details, might help others. Because, it is the process that matters.

Like we always say:

Principles above Personalities