Oh yes.... I need to do that! I will go change it NOW! Or, maybe I will have my dad record the message since WH can't STANd my dad right now!!!

Guess I need to do my cell phone too then huh?!

I've got a friend whose H shacked up with the OW (met her online, blech) for 15 months and then put her back on the bus and returned home. That was 8 years ago, and they're still together.

Her Plan B was a classic.

Even better.

Now you've got it!

I don't think my IM QUITE understands what she is supposed to be doing. She contacted me to tell me WH's demands. One being that he will be picking the kids up here TODAY AND on Thurs/..... uh, NO! I don't want to see him AT ALL!!! Unless, he wants my dad here when he picks them up. I already said that today would NOT work and he is allowed ONE nights visitation. I guess I need to contact my attorney again regarding visitation.

What is the purpose of an intermediary? I don't think I've heard of that before, but then again--all this is new to me!

So that I don't directly have contact with him or talk to him or see him.

Who did you pick? Is it someone who does it professionally or just a friend/family member?

We got a new machine for Christmas, and H asked me if I'd like to record our new outgoing message...he has complained before that I 'run' everything, so I said, no, you do it, so he did and the first time he left a message he said, "I hate hearing my own voice, I call to hear yours, please record one for me."

So YES. Go mechanical.

nice.... I recorded over his so I didn't have to hear it any more!

I am still doing plan b however.... it is very hard. He called to talk to the kids and DS called him back later. He asked if he got his picture and he said yes.... he told him if he doesn't want to be a family (or something to that extent) with us an d move home that we will probably move... and DS is ok with that. WH told him... I told you buddy... I am never moving home. WTH is wrong with these Waywards?!!!! Can they NOT see that their actions are RUINING their children's lives? I guess it is like an addict and they say it is just like it. But why is it that they don't listen to anyone else and only think about what they want? DS is hurting b/c he knows that now the other kids are going to have HIS dad at their house all the time and his dad isn't going to "be his dad any more". I told him that his dad will always be his dad but basically, his dad is going to get to visit with him and the kids are going to live here with me. So basically, he will see the kids about as much a "friend". Why is it that these waywards think it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much easier and better to go start a new life with the adulteress.... and leave the family and life that God gave them behind without even trying to make THAT life be the life that he really wants... that he thinks he could get with the adulteress. If WH would put half the energy into our family that he is "putting in" with this skank, we would be back to where we were in the beginning. But I guess having a life with minimal responsibility (including the kids) is a pretty "great" life to live huh.......

I feel your pain! It makes no sense at all. I guess they just have to learn for themselves that the life they are currently living isn't all its cracked up to be. Reality will soon hit home. My lawyer told me that 90% of the time the WS does not realize what a screw up they've made until the BS moves on with his/her life--then it's too late for the WS to come back. I hope it doesn't become too late for my situation, but I guess either way I will be happy. It's like I told my WH last night--"I've been through some hell in my life, so I'm tough. I'm okay and will be okay. It's the kid whose not going to be okay." It kills me to look at my baby's face and think of all my Wh is throwing away b/c he thinks he has found "the one." Yeah--she's the one alright--the one who ruined our marriage and the one who will eventually ruin his life.

Amen SF! SHe's the one who has ruined MANY lives... including my children and her's. They both think that they are the one but yet look at her track record.... after a few years, she cheats and moves on to the next guy, leaving the previous in the dust. This isn't the first time she has cheated and I am SURE that WH knows all about this but I am SURE she has him convinced that she has "changed". I wonder if she is drugging his wheaties in the morning??? lol.....

anyway.... SF...I talked to Keith this morning and I mentioned that they probably all think I am some crazy lady and he said no... I need to be applauded for trying so hard the last few months to get him to go. Sad thing is, he must not even think that working on stuff for the kids to be able to get to a common ground is that important. In the meantime, I am using the MB basics to get to what I want to GET him there, work on addressing stuff and see what happens from there. Closure? Got me... but I hope in the end I wkil be able to move forward however I need to.

I haven't talked to Marty since last week. He wanted to talk to WH, but he said he didn't want to talk to Marty or anyone from there. So, I didn't push it. I guess you saw where I tried talking to him about things last night and he confessed that he is still talking to the tramp. I told him as long as he has any contact with her that we will never have a chance. I said a lot of things--all nicely and without anger--but I did say a lot. I told him that he keeps talking about having to "live with his consequences." I said, "What about my consequences? What about the baby's consequences? you aren't the only one living with consequences." He became tearful, but he's gotten tearful so many times that I don't even know if it means anything anymore. I just know that boundaries are in order. I'm going to continue being nice to him, but I'm not going out of my way to let him have whatever he wants anymore. He is getting needs met by both me and OW. He admitted that he is trying to live in two different worlds. If it comes to it, I'm going to tell him that as long as he continues to be involved with OW that my world is no longer an option for him. He could have figured himself out if he would have let her go, but he won't. I don't know what it's going to take.

No No No No No.


You are in Plan B. You do not send ANYTHING to the WH. Especially a disrepectful judgement of thinking you will somehow get THROUGH TO HIM.

Very true!

I am thinking someone can't handle plan B. I told him don't show up to the house... and guess what he did. Luckily, I wasn't here.... but my dad was. Needless to say, he was caught roaming aorund the house and then my dad got his shoes and went out to see what he was doing. He has gone. He had parked his truck down the street and walked down to the house. So my dad drove around to try to find him and didn't see him. But, then he came driving down the street, my dad flashed his brights at him to stop and he drove off. So, my dad went after him and chased him around to try to get him to stop and telll him, "no contact mean no contact.... STAY AWAY!!!!!" But he couldn't get him to stop to tell him. All this b/c he can't take the words, you may not have visitation b/c the kids and I have plans and I told him NO contact and stay away from house. So today, he's called the house and left a message and showed up to the house. He is quite persisitent, maybe off his rocker??

NOPE just a typical wayward. And good show with your dad scaring him off. Maybe next time your WH will think twice before he comes over.

What do you mean by he's a typical wayward? Is this what most WS do in plan b??? Is it b/c he is no longer in control or is b/c he now has his cake... but I won't let him eat it???

I am sick of this roller coaster. I am sick of feeling like this and the fact that he only wants his way with the kids and expects me to bend over backwards. I don't know if I can do this plan b any more b/c it is more stress than I expected. He is insistent on his visitations and what not, even if I tell him that he gets ONE night per week at this point and he just doesn't seem to realize that what I am doing is protecting my kids from his unhealthy actions, and away from a skankho. I am glad I don't have a daughter at this point b/c I would HATE for her to learn from OW on how to be a homewrecker.