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Joined: Oct 2010
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Joined: Oct 2010
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Due to his lack of support at home, where he is, and how long he is going to be away, it is rather important to determine between the two. If it is abuse, hopefully she can be redirected. If it is addiction, it's entirely possible she will chase another addiction - and possibly one that is more destructive. That bears some consideration. It is both. She is addicted to online gaming and it is abusive. It is wrecking their marriage. I am a recovering alcoholic and you can bet my addiction was profoundly abusive. I drank for the same reasons most people become addicted: they are selfish, thoughtless as*holes who are running from life. And most of us do BLAME others for our failures. That is the way of a loser addict; they are accomplished blameshifters. My addiction was 100% was my fault. If I didn't want to drink, wild horses could not have made me drink. It is the same with Chris's wife's addiction and your addiction, you there is nothing that could have forced you to do it if you didn't want to. The truth is you wanted to and she wants to. In Chris's case, even though her parents were not of help the last time, he needs to try again. Maybe it is true they don't give a crap about her [and many parents don't love their children and won't lift a finger to help them] but he still needs to try to enlist them. Sad thing is there is not a lot he can do, other than exposure, to repair this situation while he is gone. This is why I avoid military threads. I don't know how to help them. All addicts may abuse, but not all abusers are addicts. Addiction relies on dependency, abuse does not. I fully understand YOUR experience - I GREW UP in "the program" and have not only seen how active addicts behave, but I know - as you WELL know as a recovering addict yourself - how recovering addicts behave. With him away from home, it can be just as threatening. And you are spot on, ML. It's difficult figuring out how to help him. I gave him the best shot I had; advised a family hardship leave or discharge. He doesn't want to discharge. I can partially understand that, and it's his decision. But you KNOW that his military career - ESPECIALLY considering he is currently dealing with infidelity - is a huge threat and stress on his marriage. And to each of you who has come in here to object and question, I THANK you all. I may be stubborn, but I don't value dead set opinions for myself. I obviously mis-communicated hugely.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1 |
1. I never thought on MB that I would see intraweb talk like "can I haz cheezburger?111!11" It reminded me of a lot of off-topic areas in my weight lifting forums. - Being about WoW, to a WoW player, thought it made sense.2. HHH, there's a pretty sweet MMO if you have an Android phone called Dungeon Defenders: First Wave. It's getting a cooperative play by teh guys over at teh XDA forum. Back playing WoW, and not very often. The "joy" of gaming has been replaced by something better, and I only play when I am at home alone so I don't chew my own ear off. My head is too busy a place to leave unattended.2.a. If you don't have an Android phone, you need to get one. Yes, Yes I do.3. Day 1 of not smoking sucks. I think I spent 3 bucks on chewing gum and my jaws hurt! Hear ya. I'm on my um-teenth attempt to end tobacco use this year. The last attempt was after D-Day, and wasn't a good idea for timing. 4. Game of Thrones series on HBO is going to be so freakin awesome. Haven't seen anything on it. FWW and I watched 6 Feet Under and Rome religiously. Don't have HBO any more 
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,529 Likes: 9
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,529 Likes: 9 |
HHH, I just saw this on writer's thread: I sincerely doubt that you are a one-trick pony. Maybe a one-really-fantastic-trick pony, but certainly not just one trick all together. Cheers, mate! Thank you!
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
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HHH, I just saw this on writer's thread: I sincerely doubt that you are a one-trick pony. Maybe a one-really-fantastic-trick pony, but certainly not just one trick all together. Cheers, mate! Thank you! I saw that too... High five Mr. W
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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