Please keep posts respectful!

thank you!

ITA.

Thank you for your suggestions. I will check out the counseling center and get reading some of the suggested books. I was looking into a key logger. So hate to go that route...

Kids are in their early teens so we still have about 5 yrs before the youngest will graduate HS. We will go the divorce route at that time, if needed, but not sooner.

Moderator is welcome to change all of my "p" words to goofy emoticons for all I care... I picked a clinical word--figured it would be okay. Sorry to scare everyone.

My instant reaction was to spit tea out onto my monitor

This is a very messy situation and the mountains you guys have to climb are massive.

You flat out tell him that you don't like what he's doing.

Frankly, it's really weird.

Do you have kids? Are they his?

I wouldn't want my kids around this man at all.

For those who gave helpful opinions and comments, I thoroughly appreciate them all. For the moderators, I'm sorry you had to stay on your toes for this post--I thought the people here were more mature. For those who found my situation laughable, I'm sorry that you are not mature enough to deal with difficult and embarrassing situations like I have experienced.

I will not visit the thread again.

katjul, I apologize for anything hurtful that I posted to you. The problem is that we see a lot of posters come to this site with phony stories and proceed to take up a lot of our time, which takes us away from helping 'real' posters. We sometimes have to make a fast judgment call on who's a phony poster and who's not. You'll have to admit that your topic isn't a typical marital issue. At least not that we see here on a daily basis.

I went back to confirm - you did get some good advice. I hope you follow through on the advice you've received. Good luck!

KatJul

You are new to MB and I would expect you to feel this way from your brief time here.....

but,

What you don't realize is that we have many, many immature people showing up posting fake stories.

We even have some mentally unstable people that create false persona's over and over again in an attempt to create chaos for their own pleasure.

One of the sickest I've seen was an old man that worked on a crisis hotline and got a call from some young lady in need (I think like 40 years younger).... He preyed on her, then got her to divorce her husband and then convinced her to marry him.... still think the guy was a troll.... but what do I know...

If you are sincere with your need and your story is real then you will find help here.

Another thing I've discovered is that people posting ficticiously leave quickly,,,, in a similar fashion that you've just chosen to.

....They "leave" right after insulting the board members in general.

And, "leave" is in quotes for a reason.

I think a lot of nonfictitious people also do that. It seems to be to be a natural reaction when someone asks if you are real or not.

I think that is why the moderators' official policy for us is to contact them privately with such concerns instead of posting them publicly. That way we avoid risking embarrassing or driving away someone who might be real. The moderators can handle it and we can leave ourselves out of it.

Markos <-- still thought to be fake by some.

That has not been my experience.




That has not been my experience.

My OPINION based on my experience over these 11 years:

The folks who leave quickly and in anger are generally not interested in (or not ready for) an an actual MB learning experience. Real, or not.
Or, their story/history is too disruptive/painful for the general board membership for one reason or another. Affariage. Too sexually explicit. Etc.

The fact is, the members interested in learning MB, stay.
The ones that are not, don't stay.

I'll agree with that.

There is help here for people who are willing to listen and to work. People who aren't willing to listen are a different story altogether. And that's sad.

It is clearly stated:



Failure to do this simple requirement is a pretty accurate litmus test of who will leave and not become a successful MB member.