Some of you are on the fence when it comes to exposure. You're afraid of the fallout, what your WS will do and what the OP will do. But please listen when the vets here tell you exposure is good.

It's more than good, it's great. And in many cases it can immediately end the affair. It's a great affair killer.

It certainly worked with the particularly sticky situation I had with my xwh's affair and the horrible, beyond horrible ow I nicknamed "monkeyho" years ago.

She was a woman who had no boundaries, nothing was off limits for her, even lying with hin to be around my little boy, who as 3 and 4 at the time. Scary woman.

Granted I did get divorced, but the fallout from the exposure was amazing!

I did a complete and total nuclear eposure, and this was back in 2002 and the ema went on for over a year. I initially exposed to her employer (she pretended she was looking to change jobs and approached my xh about working as a sales rep in his industry). I then exposed to her family, since the internet was not as widely used as today and there wasn't facebook yet. I called everybody with her last name even in our phonebook. I also drove to her house and put exposure letter under her welcome mat and under the mats of the houses on either side of her. I even spoke to her grandmother on the phone.

Did I get a threat? Yea. Did my xh mention what I did in court? Yea. I also told the judge I was simply stating a fact (that my xh and ow were in an affair which is the truth) and that it was part of a program I was in to help end the affair. Judge was cool with it and said "well affairs DO end alot of marriages, that is true." Not even one word. Nothing. What can you do when you are simply spreading the truth around?

Well my xh had a secret other ow on the side, and ended up with that woman because he felt he had to be with her since she deliberately got pregnant (did it with another boyfriend too). $$ motivated. But the xow called monkeyho continued on without my xwh at her side.

Again, it would seem (told by my friends back home) that monkeyho went after more married men yet again. And that this time and the next times she did that, there was the ghost of MY first exposure around her, and suddenly she felt trapped. The ow, or should I say serial ow, now is unable to have any profile at all on facebook. She keeps her phone number and address unlisted. She has all access to her or a photo private, and didn't even allow her own photo to be made at her 20 year high school reunion. Why? She's scared of further exposures.

Finally this wretch of a woman married one of her om last year. Fearful of what would happen at her finally glorious wedding day, she could not even announce her wedding or engagement in the newspaper, for fear of what would happen at announcing she was again involved in adultery...further exposure!

Exposure is your friend. It keeps the predatory OP at bay imho. Many times it stops the affair and killls it dead almost instantly, but even if it doesn't, it has the effect of spraying raid on a fire ant hill. The affairees go scrambling and running away. It also takes the intrigue out of the affair and shows it for what it is. A dirty, evil, vile creation born out of selfishness and lies.

So I guess you could say I am glad I first exposed this ow. I'm thrilled I exposed my xh. Both neither were repentant and it ended up costing my xh initially many clients who were very family oriented and loved me and my son, and also alot of money. It also made the ow run and hide from the light of day, since she too was unrepentant and ended up hunting other married men (who met her $ standard).

Although this particular ow continued to be an ow, she knew damn well that if she did this again and wasn't careful, she would face further exposures.

I sincerely feel if we'd had more technology back in that time, 2002, I would have been able to kill it more effectively. What did work, and I will add, along with the scorched earth nuclear exposure I did, was have a PI verify everything about their affair legally, so it would show without any doubt I was not spreading gossip or lies about the wayward and the ow.

That's another part I think is important, making sure you document the ema as valid. Then there's no reason why you shouldn't spread the truth!

Thank you.

hugs.

When I first discovered WH's A, (September 17, 2009) I exposed it - to his parents, to my family, and I called OW to tell her that I knew. Her mother knew because she arranged a hotel for them once. However, A didn't stop after that. It just went further underground. On February 11, 2010 I found out the truth of the A. H had claimed EA, but it was very much a PA too. I saw the photos, emails, etc. I re-exposed to my family and to H's mother. OW found out that I had possession of her photos (that she sent my WH) because he told her about it.

After nearly a year and several false recoveries (even another DD on November 2, 2010 - I called OW again and told her I knew); I have decided to separate from WH and file for divorce once the separation period has passed. During their recent conversations, OW moved to San Francisco, because she's going to be on a Lifetime Network reality TV show about female security guards. I have her address in San Fran. I see her on facebook (though we are not "friends"). A darker side of me wants to just blow her (and WH) out of the water. Another part of me says, "What for?"

"What for?"

To warn the other people that know her that she is a predator that must be kept away from their own marriages.

What would be the best way to do this? I know she is on facebook - I could send a message to her friends or something? I wouldn't even know what to say? I don't know anything about law and wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize my standing in the separation/impending divorce that I am in with WH. Does this all seem vindictive? That's the last thing I want to be seen as.

Send the photos to the TV show producers.
Pep <~~~ being bad.

I've thought about that! I don't know the name of the show or anything. I've tried looking it up on the lifetime network website but it could be too soon or maybe I'm just looking in the wrong place? I'm pretty sure I heard from WH at the time that they'd begun filming on November 8th. I'm such a goody-two-shoes that I'm afraid I'd get into trouble!

It's probably an unsold pilot.
Send the pix to the network, with a note stating her name, that she is on (show name) and that these pix werer taken during her adultery with a married man.
Because this is "reality TV" .... which is completely untrustworthy BTW, I would send the pix anonymously. If you don't want them following YOU with a camera.

I'm still researching the LMNetwork angle but something I have been considering for awhile is sending said pictures of OW (some of them with her scantily clad, a couple of OW with WH) to her mother. Her mother knows about the affair, even participated to a degree such as booking a hotel room for the two of them. However, I don't think her mother has seen THESE pictures and thought that might be a nice shock to the system to get a better idea of what REALLY went on and let her know that I am a flesh and blood person whose life she, her daughter, and (especially) my H helped to destroy.

Thoughts?????

I think you're doing it for revenge. Now, don't get me wrong, Val, I'm right there with you when it comes to planning out revenge scenarios. You'd run screaming in fear from me if I told you every scenario that I came up with when I was plotting revenge against the OW in my sitch.

But consider: her mother knew full well what she was getting their motel room for. She knew they weren't going to sit in there and read devotionals. As a matter of fact, the visuals she may allow herself to imagine are probably a lot racier than any photos you've got.

If you must, then send them. I wouldn't.