hi i met a very good guy friend but he's married. And it seems his marriage is on a rocky situation now. He told me one time that it's been 4 years that he didn't have relationship with his wife. And he don't think he can continue or go on like that.

We've been sharing some secrets and he is always happy if he sees me. One time he wrote me and asked my advice for his job and I gave him suggestions for a particular software that he should use.

After awhile he wrote me back with the abbr of the word I love you.

I was quite surprised with the reaction & I don't know what to say.
But later on, he asked sorry he said he was just very happy because I helped him with his problem which he was been trying to solve long time ago....
Now, I'm confused:-( would appreciate your opinion

Brace yourself.

~Opt

I think what opt means is that you're about to get a rash of responses that you may not wish to read.

I guess I'm first.

The man is married.

Do I need to say more?

Whether or not he is making the first move or you are, it is simply wrong to do so while the man is married.

No good will come of it.

Stop it now. Cut it off. Do not speak with this man again.

Harsh? Not as harsh as what is coming if you do not.

Well, okay, since you asked: I think you should call his wife and hip her to a couple of things:

1. Her husband is a hound dog who is chasing other women.
2. Her husband is a liar. He's lying to her about his faithfulness and he's lying to you about the condition of his marriage (I mean, you really didn't buy that foolishness about his marriage being rocky, right?)

You're going to call her and let her know these things because he is a 'good guy friend' and, as a 'good guy friend' is depending on you, as a 'good lady friend' to help him be happy. And what married man wouldn't want to be completely happy in his marriage, right?

I just want to go on record at this point and THANK YOU for helping this good guy friend and his wife save their God-blessed union! I just think that is sooo great of you! I mean, a lot of times we get women on here who are trying to win our approval for entering into an adulterous affair with a MAN WHO IS MARRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN. Can you imagine that? What piece of trash would have the audacity to even consider interfering in someone else's marriage?

Great job letting his wife know!! Now THAT'S a good friend!!

Are you hot?

Lol, I don't even want to know where you're going with that one!

Last year you were posting as a wife.

If you are still married...you need to tell/alert your husband that there is a wolf around his henhouse.

Don't keep secrets from YOUR husband.

Mr. Wondering

This guy thinks you're seriously stupid and or seriously skanky! Of course, he's always happy to see you!

How would I react??? I would inform his wife that her H is a scumbag....providing evidence if possible.

I can tell you how my FWH's OW reacted.....f'd his brains out for months.....they were so in lurve.....until the day I showed up at her house and confronted her with the fact that the fact that our marriage was on the rocks was news to me!

H hasn't seen the idiot skank since.

Who do you want to be?

When you first posted back in January of 2010 you were advised to read material here as a way to understand the Marriage Builders philosophy and help your marriage get on track (there was a lot of independent behavior going on with your husband taking a vacation around the holidays without you, and too much drinking, IMO). You posted 8 more times and disappeared in February.

Now you're on the Dating Page of the website and apparently have yet to read up on how we approach things. There are many many good resources here to help you T, if you put in the time and effort. Armed with knowledge from here, there will be NO confusion about how to handle a MARRIED man who is obviously pursuing you. You might even gain some insight about dating SINGLE men, if you so choose. It's a marriage website but there are many aspects of the philosophy of Dr. Harley that translate very well to interpersonal relationships in general, and quite possibly prepare you for a more successful long term relationship in the future.

Mr. W asked some pertinent questions. I hope you'll answer them for us during your journey so we can help you. But most of all I hope you take Fred's advice: stop talking to this loser who tells other women that he "loves" them.

Optimism

Maybe hot and stupid. I just have to wonder if she's for real, if she's serious. Does a person really have to ask the consensus opinion when one is seeing a married man? Esp. on a site where we've all been cheated on and lost our marriage because of it!