The truth will set you free. Please keep us posted. Know you are doing the right thing for your M and for being honest for OW B. He has a right to know.

Praying for you today, Rainbeau.

I tried to expose to the OW BF...I called their home tonight (only number i have) and she keeps picking up. I asked once for her BF but he wasn't home. I don't want her to catch on.

I asked my coworker if her husband could try to get the BF's cell or work number for me from his friend (complicated i know)...he's worried about giving it to me. He isn't sure he wants to get involved ...I don't know what to do. I just want this nightmare to end. I'm so sad right now...

oh boy, you had better get through FAST before your H and the OW get to the BF and spin the story. Can you drive over there and see him?

you mean knock on their door?

she's home with him i'm sure...it's 11:30pm here.

Oh yes! I wouldn't go tonight, but I certainly would drop in tomorrow and surprise them.

not sure how much spinning of the story they can do...i have cell records, photos and hand written love notes as proof...

But if he thinks you are a crazy loon he might not ever look at that - he will just dismiss you and hang up on you. You bet they can spin the story. And then you will be lucky if you can change his mind. He will WANT to believe his GF, after all. He will WANT to believe you are a nut.

I would do this tomorrow and get it done since they have probably caught on to your gig.

Where else has the affair been exposed?

Well my WH's family, my family, and our friends all know

People at their work place have figured it out (i haven't "exposed" there yet)

3 friends of the OWBF know through me, sort of inadvertently...i was confiding in a friend/coworker who did some digging on her own and found out that the OW was at her wedding 3 yrs ago. The OWBF is a high school friend of my coworker's husband (SMALL SMALL WORLD!!!!!!!!). He is upset about the A but is concerned about exposing it...ugh!!!

Please, you have to do the job yourself, do not rely on others!

Consider the danger that through these friends the information that you gonna expose can be leaked to OW. And pre-warned is pre-armed.

I agree. Don't let someone else tell him. It needs to come from you with documentation otherwise he will think it is office gossip.

You are doing this for a reason -- Until he knows there will not be hope for your M. You need to strike NOW.

God bless on this straight path you are taking.

Rainbeau, if you want the best chance of saving your marriage you need to expose the affair. Affairs thrive on secrecy so bringing it out into the open is the most likely thing to kill it. None of the above is exposure, it just idle gossip that will avail you nothing.

Expose to the OW's BF yourself. Expose to the OW's facebook friends and parents. FORMALLY expose the affair at work by sending a letter to Human Resources, a key VP and the OW and your WH's bosses.

You are missing a huge opportunity here.

sigh............I see that she has already been given this advice many times and has not taken it. We are just repeating ourselves which is a waste of good time.

sound of two by four

I called the OWBF this morning on his cell...He had no idea abut her affair!! He didn't believe me at first, got quite angry actually, but since my proof was UNQUESTIONABLE and my tone was very matter of fact and empathetic...he couldn't help but know I was telling the truth. He ended up apologizing. OW and WH look out!

The OWBF called his buddies and they all confirmed that it was true also! He is 100% convinced now.

Any advice on what his next steps should be?

Just stay in your Plan B. Expect that you WH will be very angry that you did this. That's okay, most of them do get angry. Remember though that you don't have a fighting chance of saving your marriage UNTIL and UNLESS the A is exposed and broken.

Stay dark and if WH does happen to make contact some how, your mantra should be I am doing whatever is necessary to fight for our marriage.

Exposure isn't a magic bullet but it's pretty darn close. We've seen affairs end the very same day or very soon after exposure. It's just no fun anymore when EVERYONE knows.

Great that you finally exposed to OWBF. Monday morning is the time to officially expose to their workplace, as MelodyLane recommended:



Also, when someone takes their time to help you on this forum as ML did, it is only polite and courteous to respond.

What is your reply to the several people advising you to officially expose the A in the workplace?

FINISH your exposures. Exposure should be done at the same time to get the biggest impact. Get a letter prepared to go to Human Resources, a Key VP and both their bosses that they will see first thing Monday morning. CC all of them in the letter so no one is tempted to hide the letter.

Is there anyone else who you have not exposed to?

Here is the workplace sample letter:

Developed by Brits Brat, board member and corporate attorney

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,

BS
_________________________