Hi SugarCane

Long time no speak

I've missed ya!

When I got it in my mid 20s Mel, it made me want to be a procecuring attorney and put the hammer down on bullchit. I had signed up for sociology aas a major for colledge just so I could really know the enemy and planned on being an attorney by 35.

Then of course I met my late wife, with all the beautiful word of God she had, while she was one of the greatest of the inner circle of a great envangelist church, and she was "Backsliding". A term I have now aknowedged as the same as "being stubborn and seeking her own way", or bluntly, "feeling sorry for herself".

The title sure says it all doesn't it? "Sympathy for the Devil" and the line "After all it was you and me" really rings home huh?


At the end when Satan smiles and says, "Vanity, my favorite ______________,( did he say sin or weakness? I dont remember)". Yeah, humbling huh?

When will we stop going to that tree in the garden, or is that just how we are? Scuse me while I find my figleaf and blame the women he gave me.

I remember heating up water on the stove to get a bath when I was a kid, and in Mass. in the winter, after cleaning the barn, every few days, well we we needed a bath.

But that doesn't compare to my fathers once a week baths. He worked so hard and to many hours. Its a tribute to how people could stay together longer in those days, "for the children", of course.

He was brought up on a farm, had to live across the street for part of his life because he could not be in the same room as his brother. I heard it was becuase his bro was sick as a child, but knowing my Dad, and his temperment, there might have been other reasons.

He would work from 6 AM and come home from his second job at 12:30 in the morning the next day, and then there was the weekend projects too. He would take a bath in 2 inchs of water once a week because he was taught not to waste hot water, at everyones disgust, (specially Mom) and insist and question us all if we were using more that two sheets of TP when we went to the bathroom. Brought home clothes from the dump and insisted I wear them to school, (Can you picture plaid floodpants in the 60s?), and tried to furnish the house with items from the dump also. He was the epitomy of "penny wise and pound foolish", as I came to realize later on. He valued money above everything including himself and his family, and nobody could reach him on this, no matter how they tried.

So the rant is about how my Dad suffered needlessly from fear and would not consider that he was a human being that could live a life more fully while we were young or recognize love when it was given to him. He did teach me how to work, but life is more than work, it also enjoying the journey as it unfolds, and living in the now.

Mommy's (or Daddy's) is always better.

I think you guys are on to something...I think you've figured out a way to get kids to eat what's good for them: put the pizza and jo-jo's on their plate, and put the lean meat and veggies on the parents' plates!

I must have been the last person in the world to GET that song! When it came out i was only 10 and even then, didn't bother with much history until I was in my 30's. THEN I got it!

Was it on the "Exile on main street" album? I don't know, never was a rabid stones fan anyway. Some really bad experiences when I was a child.

But credit where credit is due, it is a good song.

Just saw your post from yesterday elsewhere and remembered that you just posted this here a few days ago about MB.

I don't understand.

Here's a parital rant and a partial removal of an old trigger.

Last night the heavy, wet snow collapsed our garage on top of the car I normally drive. It looks pretty bad. The insurance company will come out tomorrow, but it appears as though the car is totalled.

On the plus side, it is the car my H had when he was in the A. OW once commented how much she liked driving it, especially with the top down. I really liked this car and had actually stopped any triggers associated with the car. So, it looks like one of the last things associated with the A might be hitting the junkyard.

AM

I know exactly what you mean. I felt the same way when my DH wrecked our Trooper!

Hey, PM, I am not sure which post you're talking about. I'll have to look through my posts.

If it's the one you quoted, what I meant was that I was directing people to MB from a particular Christian forum because there was horrible advice being given on the Christian forum (which is a sad testament).

Sometimes when I type my brain goes faster than my fingers (or the other way around).

Thanks for clearing that up Tawandabelle.

Rant

During all of my tribulations I have managed to have a close R with my SIL who lives overseas. We talk almost weekly and she is good support for me and my DDs. We hardly mention XH.

SIL maintains communication with XH because "he is all that she has as far as family" which I try and respect. At the beginning XH blew up at her and hung up on her and since then she walks on eggs because she does not want him to "be mad". She has a disease that stress affects it and I tell her that I do not expect her to pick sides because he is her brother (even thought I think she should give him a swift kick in the butt).

We are on FB together. Well lo and behold I get an email from her saying "Hi Hope hope things are great for you. My brother and PP are on FB now and he sent me all of his wedding photos to me and fiance. Now I have 2 SIL on FB. Tell the girls I send my love...SIL

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

So I pull up FB and there is pic of PP and her 2 spawned Ds listed as a friend on SIL page. (Should I add that my pic is with MY 2 DD also)

I was pretty upset because I do not want my DDs to see pics of PP (even as a friend) on SIL FB because it would upset them and how she was so insensitive to say having 2 SIL on FB.

I rip off email to SIL...

SIL, I am doing ok. I don't really want to know about that plastic slag on FB and their wedding. They took DD17's money to pay for that Vegas wedding and now he has wrecked my credit with his bankruptcy.
We had had enough of XH's and the pain he has caused our family. He got what he deserves...being with her. We love you always and will always be SIL and it is good you are there for my girls. I don't want to hear about him and his wedding. Take care.

Told both DD's to be warned about this because they both post pictures to SIL and DD17 does not want XH to see her even in a pic.

DD promptly removed all tagged photos from SIL and locked her FB account.

Only amusing part is that the FB is under PP's name and she goes by her maiden name and his last name but she never changed anything legally.

Waywards are dumb.

End of rant

Waywards ARE dumb! How horribly frustrating.

Beyond that... Facebook is dumb in itself! My WW is a FB-whore, because it benefits her career (musician in a successful band). Social networking right? Well, after much hullabaloo she finally went NC with OM and deleted him from FB, among other things. Her profile is not locked, because easy accessibility is critical for garnering fans.

Even after a NC letter and deleting him, we awoke yesterday morning to see that POSOM had posted a comment on one of her posts, and of course it was of the "snide underhanded remark but subtle enough no one else will know" variety.

My wayward is currently pretty upset at him and the whole situation, so it ticked her off ALMOST as much as it ticked me off. The nerve! We're going to have to find more drastic measures, because POSOM doesn't want to lose this battle.

Facebook. A source of endless drama!

I removed my SIL from my wall on FB. A couple of weeks ago, she posted a TONNE of pics from the past and tagged me in ones with my WH. She apologized only AFTER she tagged them. I removed the tags and asked her to not tag me in any future pics with my WH in them.


Stuck waiting, she can remove her wall so no one can post ANYTHING to her. She COULD make her profile more secure. Is there a reason she isn't?

Having an easily accessible profile is an important part of building her career. Fans post things, she posts back, new fans search her out to get a look at the music, photos, videos etc.

There are options, yes. But for a musician, the usual "get a new job" mantra won't work. She considered closing her FB altogether, but it really is an important part of her career at this point. There's probably a way to block him specifically from posting anything on her site, but even then I think there are risks some of what his activity (with mutual friends, for example) could leak in...

I don't need to hijack the post, though. Bottom line is "ARGH Facebook causes problems!"

Facebook does NOT cause problems. The way someone uses FB is what causes the problems.

There ARE things your WW can do. She could remove her FB and have someone else run one for her. She would stay off of it and have a intermediary type thing where someone else would check her FB page and could respond to the "fan" messages. This way, there would be no thrill when OM contacts her. See, there ARE ways around things, think about them, figure this out because ANY contact is bad bad bad for your recovery and your recovery is DOOMED.

She can easily block OM's email address and he would not be able to even see her posts or any pics, even if she posts on someone else's FB or makes a comment. That's if she really wants to do that.

Perfect answer. Stuck, your WW doesn't have to go near FB to maintain her 'fan page.'