I discovered my husband's affair a month ago. The OW is a key person in H's business. H and I are in therapy. HE says he has ended all physical contact with her.<P>I want him to end ALL contact with her, FOREVER, as Dr. Harley suggests. I even sent OW an e-mail telling her she should resign immediately as she is young, unmarried, childless ( we have two children), with a great resume, and leaving would have relatively little impact on her. Of course she never responded.<P>H does not understand why it's such a big deal to me that they continue to have a professional relationship. He says it would be destructive to others in his company if either she or he leaves the business. (I don't buy this - NOBODY's irreplacable). But it's tearing me up that he sees her and talks to her all the time. I asked H if she is going to the company Christmas party. He said yes. I asked how I could possibly go if she's there? He says I don't have to go. This does not seem right to me.<P>Can somebody come up with an explanation for him of why this is so important? I have given him Dr. Harley's materials, but he thinks his case is an exception to the rule that ALL contact must end. Or am I being irrational to insist they find a way to separate completely?<P>Neither of them would be hurt professionally or financially by leaving the business.

Your H can not control what OW does (I'm assuming he does not own his business).<P>He can only control what he does. Fair or not, if the two of you believe one of the two have to leave, then it has got to be your H.<P>Of course that is the most healthy for your marriage, but you can't MAKE your H believe that, unfortunately.<P>Be careful you do not do anything that could give OW cause for a sexual harassment case.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13