It's me again. my previous post is "shall I confront him" regarding my husband cheating on me with prostitutes.

I was thinking to hire an private investigator to follow my husband . the investigator told me that all he can get is photos/videos he is walking into a hotel /apartment where he received the services.

I understand that. the reason I want the private investigator is to prepare for the worst situation. when i confront him, if he regrets about it, if he wants to change, no matter he admits he really had sex or not. I will not tell anyone including him that i have photo evidences. I will try to restore our marriage .
but if he 's being a jerk, this means our marriage would be end . i think I would public whatever I get.

when i called the investigator , just about to make decision, i felt so nervous and scared. I'm afraid my H would find out, investigator would blackmail me etc etc....
I said in my previous post, I hope we can have a chance to rebuild our marriage instead of divorcing. say if my husband does regret, does want to start all over again with me. then he found i hired a investigator ....then everything is over.

I am so clueless. please tell me if I should hire private investigator. please

I would hire the investigator. If your H would leave you over hiring an investigator then you don't have a marriage anyway. He would have no reason to be mad about hiring a PI if he were truly remorseful.

Also, it would be a mistake to keep his affairs secret. His family and your family all need to know regardless of his reaction. That is good for HIM to have everyone know. The more people who know the more people to hold him accountable.

I made deposit to the investigator's account. unfortunately we missed it!!
just found out that he contacted the escort agent again today. considering it was day time, pretty sure the prostitute were available .the investigator probably arrived his work place after he came back from the "service".......hate myself that I couldn't make up my mind in the morning. otherwise i think i might already had strongest evidence on my hand.

When did you discover what was going on? What made you suspicious?

How did you find out about the him contacting the escort service today?

This is the best starting advice that can be given to ANY man/woman who has plausible reason to believe that his/her spouse may be cheating on their marriage:

HIRE A PI!!!

If you don't have the money, GET IT.
If you are scared or nervous about it, GET OVER IT.
If you care about recovering your marriage, DO IT.

I chickened out of doing it myself years ago (was warned & advised to do it but stupidly was gaslighted into talking myself out of it).

It was a huge mistake that I regretted for a long time. DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE PLEASE!

I think i had best chance last friday . but the PI missed it bcuz i couldn't make up my mind .

the PI 's advice before i hired him is: I already have enough evidences to confront him. if he wants to deny, he could deny anyways unless I caught him in bed. prostitutes are different from other cheating cases. cuz the prostitutes will not hug/kiss you on the street, they wait for you inside the room.....

I am thinking give another shot. if I could get it, good. if I miss it again, I'm just gonna confront him with all the contact history he made with the pros over last year

if your partner is having an affair with a friend/co worker etc , it's a lot easier to catch them with Private investigator. because they will kiss,hug ,eat out.
just make an excuse to go out of town. if you are lucky, your PI might probably get evidences you need within 2,3 days.