My son recently divorced his wife of almost 7 yrs. The divorce was final in December and since then they have been on again off again. Each time he gets his hopes up that it is on she goes back to om. I just don't know what to say anymore to help him move forward. He doesn't seem to be able to seperate himself from her emotionaly. He divorced her because of her long standing affair and lies about the affair. They share custody of their 3 kids and he is a wonderful father and it is killing them that their family was destroyed. He had a bad experience with a counselor and does not want to go back but has been talking with his priest. I have been through this before 10 years ago before I met his father (he is my step-son) and I am trying to give him the tools I learned through here and the experience I had. His mind is telling him what makes sense but his heart seems to win out and then he is back to square one. Any ideas on how to help him move forward? She is no where near leaving OM and I feel reconcilliation at this point even so would be disatrious.

I am nowhere near an expert here but...I know from personal experience that my father has been tremendously helpful. No because he is trying to help but because he has sat me down and helped me to understand that my priorities are my daughter and myself. STBXWW is NOT a priority. I still feel like crap inside, but I have been trying my best to keep my actions directed towards the other priorities.

So, not that a "mother" cannot help her son (or step-son) but his father needs to get involved and talk to him if he has not. I can also understand his hesitation towards counseling but I know for a fact that I need to see someone....Once I can afford it.

I feel for you and your son. I am in am just starting the divorce process and am constantly in a tug of war with my heart.
As a result, I don't have any good answers for you,but will place you in my prayers. This is a tough one!

my parents are the biggest help in my life right now as i go through my divorce. and my step-dad is a rock i can count on. he doesnt always say the things i want to hear, but he doesnt hold back on saying the things i need to hear.

through the last 8 years of my relationship with my husband, they have been supportive of my decisions, the ones i made with my heart, even though thtey didn't agree with them. and it took not finding out about my husbands EA, but his actuall reaction to me revealing it to him and others to wake me up and start listening to my head and the things my parents said.

i know my parents would tell you to support your son/step-son in his decisions, whatever they may be. but always remind him to rely on the Lord. always remind him that he is loved. and when he asks for advice, don't hold back.