It won't stand. You have to show some sort of threatening behavior for a restraining order to stand.

Get a lawyer and defend yourself against the RO.

She's scum. You should be glad she's out of your life.

just checked my mail and got something. Lawyer would like to be heard this saturday for petition for an injunction...sent harmful and embarassing emails to petitioner's employer and co-workers solely to harass petitioner and damager her professional reputation...could jeopardize her career...will be irreparably damaged if not enjoined from publishing and transmitting harmful emails to employers and coworkers...no purpose other than harm reputation and cause emotional harm...restrained and prevented from sending further emails...and i have to pay for her lawyer

i'm not planning on sending anymore emails anyway...but i don't wanna pay her attorney's fees and costs for this...but i guess it would cost me money to argue this too...catch 22 i guess

after this I think i'll give her space for a while...3 to 4 weeks...sound good? she needs a good amount of time to cool down if she went as far as filing an injunction against me

i honestly don't see how this marriage can be saved at this point, but i'll continue to follow the plan

Her lawyer wants to be heard where this Saturday? Courthouses aren't open on Saturdays. I suspect he is calling you into his office for a little sit-down. Attorneys are good at wording things in such a way that you can doubt yourself. (I'm not talking about any of the fine barristers on this site, just to confirm )

And you know this email is a reach. How are YOU jeopardizing her career? How will this irreparably damage her career? I would think she would keep her pants on around the office if she was really concerned about her reputation or career, now wouldn't she.

abc, this is a scare tactic she is using to get you to back off and shut up.

Were you served with a Petition for the Restraining Order? This sounds like your WW snagged a fast attorney to spook you. You aren't required to pay him, either. A court would have to order you to do that.

Is this attorney asking you to respond to this email? What did he say about that?

I'm not an attorney, but if I were you I would respond to this attorney and ask to see the Petition for the Restraining Order or the Affidavit. More than likely there won't be one.

Can you pick up an inexpensive attorney to go with you? I hate to even suggest that and have you incur any expense that you don't have to, but it's always good form to go see an attorney with an attorney - kind of takes the power play out of what her attorney is up to, IMO.

The petition was mailed to me...and yeah he's asking the court to order me to do that..and sorry i got the date wrong..he's asking to appear on friday AM...

everyone thinks i did this to be vindictive and vengeful (her family, friends)...just sucks when i only really have good intention in my heart

Do you have an attorney?

No, this isn't vengeful and you won't be ordered to pay her bills.

90% of the court battles are psychological.

I asked for all kinds of things. I didn't get them.

What you need to do is counter file, simply stating that you were following a psychologists advice intended to end the affair and you were protecting her superiors from a sexual harassment suit which could arise from the inappropriate relationship between her and a coworker.

Either way, when you counter file it would require a hearing and each side gets to present their argument.

Courts are soooo busy, that this would fall into the bottom of the pile of priorities as a "he said/she said" issue with no real importance.

Remember that family court is flooded with actual cases with important things such as custody matters.

An email letting her workplace know that she's having an affair with a coworker isn't going to be given much weight.

Trust me. I fought this battle already. This falls into the low priority pile.

abc, I don't think an attorney can compel you to go to court. Check with the county courthouse tomorrow and find out if you are scheduled to appear in court on Friday. This doesn't sound right.

Where are you supposed to go on Friday, exactly? Your document should be a summons from the court. Is it? Or is it from her attorney, asking you to meet with him?

Why wouldn't she want this exposed? Sin hates the light. She knows that what she's doing is wrong.....it needs to be brought to light. What she's mourning is the end-in-sight of her relationship with this OM. Don't think that exposing them will somehow jeopardize your chances of getting back with your wife. The reality is that if you want a relationship, then you want it to be authentic;trust me,it is not easy living with a liar and a cheat Just my thoughts....

spoke to wife's father today...both her parents are in counseling to help cope with all of this...wife told him that affair is over...told him 100% it's not..he said he will continue do whatever he can to try to stop it...also stated that he thinks wife has mentally changed...seems like he's on the same page as me with everything, but there's not really much they can do

What happened with the attorney/court thing?

i'm meeting with my lawyer tomorrow afternoon about everything..i'm going to also ask him to argue nullifying the divorce papers since they weren't served properly

also anyone have any suggestions about individual counseling?...obviously one goal would be to get her head out of her butt and stop the affair..father in law stated they're going to try and get wife to go get some...

No, what I was wondering about was that whole business with her attorney wanting to meet with you this past Friday. What happened with that?

IC will probably be a waste of time and money for your WW right now. Waywards have a tendency to spend a lot of time on self-importance in IC. Too much navel-gazing, too little ownership of any wrongdoing. They also have a terrible tendency to rewrite their history and leave out important parts that would cause the IC to scrutinize them in a negative light. I wouldn't push IC.

Found out she's introducing OM to all her friends, none of which seem to have a problem with it. Seems like a lost cause at this point, obviously exposure didn't work.

"SEEMS"

Isn't reality.


People often don't know what to say so they laugh and go along to get along. Later they talk about her behind her back and/or distance themselves.


But...some people unfortunately, don't give a crap and those are people you don't need in your live (or your marriage if you recover).


Don't worry about what other people think. Just stick to your plan and things will work out for you one way or another with or without your wife.

Mr. Wondering

Her friends are unconditional or a lot of them will be. You can't expect them to help. What about family? Whats happening there?

The only one in her family I'm in contact with is her dad. He keeps saying he won't allow the affair to continue but then she's telling him she's not contacting OM. He can't really do much except say not to do it. He really wants the marriage to work. I emailed him today and suggested something like an intervention or basically treating her like a child and living with her and monitoring her, etc. Her brothers and a cousin who she talks to all the time are basically just supporting her in her decisions...

Thats ok there will be some people who were OK with this. Keep the dad in the loop. Stop worrying about every battle. You want to win the war.

How is the working on you part going?

ABC, several times now your WW has mentioned "an internet forum". Could she be reading your thread? How would she know about this?

Are you telling us everything about what you've been up to? (i.e., emailing people, talking to her, etc.) This is important because the last thing you want to do is be charged with stalking and harassment.

You should not share this site with your WW. This thread is for you. If you feel like there is a possibility that she is monitoring this thread, click notify and let the mods know. They can help if this is the case.

The working on me part is going great. Learned a lot about how to be a better person, how to be better in relationships, learning how to improve my communication skills etc. Basically all I really needed was insight and self awareness on how destructive my behavior (guilty of all the love busters) was and I just need to practice self control. Too bad wife decided to have an affair instead of help me improve.

I think I told one of her friends about an Internet forum but I never told anyone about the website. I haven't talked with her in almost two weeks. The only person I'm talking to is her dad. Yesterday he said he doesn't know what to do about the affair cause wife isn't listening to him. We'll see if goes along with an intervention type thing. I think I'm gonna suggest HE email her friends asking for help. Maybe they'll actually listen if it comes from her dad.

I'm thinking more and more of moving on. She clearly has. I'm gonna call her on her birthday in a week and if she replies then I can continue. If she continues to ignore me, I don't really have any carrots to give her so there's not much for me to do. Plus it will take me longer to heal. Idk, just confused right now