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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,834
Originally Posted by Pepperband
Normally, we recommend the Harley book Surviving An Affair.

But in your case, I think THIS BOOK - Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders is more appropriate. *link*

Seriously, a fantastic book.
You will have your eyes opened.
It will illuminate past errors in order to avoid the same errors in the future.

You came for advice, this is mine.

BUY/READ this book.

E:

Pep said it so well. I NEEDED that book. NEEDED EARLY in my M. Would have done wonders. Things *I* needed to fix, nothing to do with my spouse.

LG

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Originally Posted by lousygolfer
Pep said it so well. I NEEDED that book. NEEDED EARLY in my M. Would have done wonders. Things *I* needed to fix, nothing to do with my spouse.

LG

You and me both, kiddo.

I just did a whole bunch of copy/paste from an old MB101 thread I started about a year ago.
Started a NEW Buyer/Renter/Freeloader thread on this forum.
Why?
Coz I am tired of typing the same thing over and over for each newbie.

Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 24
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 24
I knew that the fact that we both have been married several times was going to start a stir....and get blamed for it and some how make it our fault. I guess I should have included an explanation with that answer, but I just wanted to concentrate on the issue at hand.

To whoever made a joke about being a widow, listen carefully, one of my husbands DID DIE! The other one turned out to be a child molester and the other one physically abused me.

None of my husbands showed any sign of who they really were at the beginning, trust me, I watched them carefully after the first failed marriage, I did not want to make the same mistake twice, well my second H DIED of a heart attack at only 45 yrs old.

I was left with three small girls and I became very lonely and finally found what I thought was a very perfect H, I watched him closely and everything was fine for about 6 yrs then I found out he was sexually abusing my oldest daughter.

So now looking back he presented himself to me as a very nice hard working man, people would tell me that they envied me and my husband because of how nice he was to me, how perfect he was, but it was all a lie, he just wanted to be close to my girls.....Now how many of you would have been so good and smart on picking up on him being a child molester? None.

Now before you go and start telling me all about my bad choices of men, I heard it all I don't need to hear it again.

Let's stick with the problem at hand.

I need some help on how to figure out how to prevent an affair.

I am a very good person and a very good wife, and the first one to tell you would be my husband. And I can say the same for him, yes you might say "well if you two are so perfect then why are you here"? To that I say, we are humans, and with that we make mistakes.

I don't have proof that he is cheating on me, all I have is him being extra "nice" to two of his female co-workers, he sends them emails with attachments, but no wording on his part. And because of him having that PA long ago, I am afraid that he will do it again and I want to stop it before it goes further, I am not afraid of exposing, I just need more proof then that. And I am willing for him to loose his very well paid job if that's what it takes.

I want to stop an affair from happening, yes he had a PA when we first met and it went on for three yrs and I still married him....why? Because I love him, because he promised me that there would be no contact with the other woman, and he kept that promise, up until I moved out of the home for 6 months.

I know because I have eblaster on our computer and I read their emails to each other. He gave her his phone number (because I changed it shortly after I found out about the PA)
it was obvious to me they had no contact since Dday.

Anyway...my original question was: How do I expose (if/when) them with out my H knowing that I have his work email password??

Please understand that I am not afraid of exposing, I just don't want him to know I have his password because then he will go and change it. He logged in once on our home computer where I have the eblaster and that's how I got it.

He eats lunch at work and he comes home straight from work, he never goes any where else. No bars, no golf, no nothing.

Please, save your sarcasm and your jokes, it does not help me any. If you don't have good advice, please refrain from posting.




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