HopeandGrace, welcome to my world. I've been in the legal field for most of my adult life. As far as the request for production, you either have the documents or you don't. No one will expect you to create docs or to go out of your way (i.e., locating stuff from way back.)

If you don't have them, then say so. Your attorney can object on the basis of the requests being unduly burdensome, harassing or overly broad, and a whole host of other objections.

As for the rogs and the "every lie" question, I don't think I've ever seen that question either and I've seen some CRAZY requests. An objection could be made on the basis that the request is solely for the purposes of harassment and lack of specificity.

Caution: Both of you can object all day long. HOWEVAH, there may come a time where either of you are called before the Judge who can ORDER both of you to answer them (within reason).

Just do your best and let your attorney protect you.

Princessmeggy, unfortunately I have records going back to 1999. I'm going to ask my attorney if I can submit 5 years' worth--it will be tons of copying just for that much.

I've answered all of the "fun" questions about WH and myself in the interrogatories; today I have to do the financial questions.

LG, it's not going to be a problem stating that I never lie because I don't. WH even commented on this last summer to my mother and in December to my sister. If he has a list of lies that I've purportedly stated, I can easily refute them.

For all responses to the interrogatories concerning myself, I have been brief and to-the-point. For responses concerning WH, I've been elaborate--as the document asks me to do.

Gotta take DS bowling...

Thanks for your responses Meggy and Lousy Golfer.

I totally bailed on gathering the paperwork yesterday. I just didn't want to do it. I've got to buckle down and do it today.

WH is probably with Dumpy in GA but, surprisingly, he called DS yesterday to ask about how his bowling had gone.

He hasn't made contact with anyone while with Dumpy for more than 3 months; he normally would have waited until Monday to contact DS.

I wonder if this is a sign that Plan B is working? I'm trying very hard to not give too much credence to his actions, but it does make me wonder if everything is okay in fantasy land.

My lawyer just emailed a response back--three years should be sufficient. That's only about 12 to 15 inches of files to go through.

Whew.

This is what I get for being married to an anal-must-save-every-receipt husband.

The jerk.

H&G, don't get caught up in thinking about where WH is and who he is with, and ESPECIALLY about WHY he called DS. It could be that he is getting comfortable in his "new life: and it could be that OW was out for a walk, it could be that WH didn't know what day it was. Who knows? And, WHO CARES? Not YOU. You are a Plan B goddess.

I can understand why you would NOT want to do any of the paperwork, you took your time, now buckle down. When you need to cry, cry. Also, post here. Then when you are done, do something SPECTACULAR for yourself. Maybe you could go get a mani? a pedi? A new outfit? Do something that will make you feel good.

LOL--I thought it said "Maybe you could go get a man!

I started sputtering "But, but...." and then read it more closely.

Thanks for always having some common sense advice for me, Scotty. I truly don't know what I'd do without you.

I'm off to finish the job.

Pshaw. I'm a Plan B novice, but I'm getting there. You, however, truly are a Plan B goddess. You're a constant source of admiration, even when you have a minor lapse, because you always address it and move forward.

I've just spent 3 hours downloading and printing bank statements and locating other documents. I'm about a third of the way through with assembling all requested documents.

Keeping a calendar of the times WH has contacted or seen DS will be to my advantage. He saw him only 7 times in January and, so far this month, only 3 times. Waywards are lousy parents. Of course, I have to submit a copy of my calendar, too. Yuck. In some parts, it's rather personal....

I guess it's because I've spent so much time going through our records, but WH is much on my mind today. I hope I spend as much time in his mind as he does in mine.

Yeah, I know, I've got to stop thinking about him--just can't today.

(((H&G)))

It's normal to think about him when you are going through your past on paper, as you are today. What I would wish for you is that you realize the benefits of a dark Plan B and why it is so important NOT to see, or hear about your WH in the future. This should help you in those dark times that may lay ahead.

Also, make sure you take care of yourself and pamper yourself afterwards.

Scotty, my Plan B has been impeccably dark for 3 weeks. I'm rather proud of myself. I shopped online tonight and ordered myself a wrap-dress, new shoes, a cute scarf, and a beautiful purple top--there's my reward!

I've spent the past 3 hours working seriously hard at completing the interrogatories and request for documents. UGH--it's taking forever and I even cheated by looking at WH's answers (same basic info on bank accounts, etc.)

I think I'll be lucky to be done with this by Thursday night. I want to get it to my attorney by Friday.

I'm so glad I'm not an attorney. This stuff makes me want to bang my head on the kitchen table. If anyone reading this thinks he/she may be divorced in the near future, get all of your ducks in a row now while you have the leisure time to do it.

Woo Ha!

on the dress.............way to go girl!

Discovery (what you're doing now with the paperwork) IS a pain in the backside. Once you complete it, your attorney (more like his paralegal/legal assistant) gets to go through it all and edit, add objections, etc. Welcome to my world.

Good job on staying dark and treating yourself. I think the ROGS alone are worth some new jewelry!

Reading, I'm thinking this dress would look nice in court--it can either be skanky or churchy depending on how it is wrapped.

Meggy, I'm totally with you on getting new jewelry for completing these ROGS! I NEED either a new bracelet or a new ring. I'll probably get a bracelet; I haven't been able to make myself remove my wedding band yet. I'm still married even if my WH thinks he isn't.

I just hope whomever edits the ROGS doesn't remove OW's name and place of work. I want her name to appear as often as possible.

There ya go! Treat yourself.

As for the ROGS, your attorney works for you. Unless he gives you an absolutely convincing reason why you should NOT name OW, then you can insist that it stays. (Caveat: listen to your attorney because you ARE paying him for his advice.) You'll be the one signing the "verification" that the answers are true and to the best of your knowledge. And remember, whatever you "answer" is as good as testimony and can be used to impeach your live testimony when the time comes.

Well, Meggy, that last line is just plain scary. I'm a very non-confrontational person and can't stand the thought of being cross-examined.

The ROGS do ask me to name any person or persons either I or my spouse has had an extramarital relationship with and provide dates of all meetings, etc. WH refused to answer a similar question, stating that since he has admitted to having an extramarital affair that it was objectionable and offensive. That's okay, honey, I took care of it for you!

I hate the entire divorce process. I don't want to do this at all.

I know you do, we all do. It's nasty business and it hurts like heck. It is necessary though to protect you. A lot of people have walked before you. I was within days of my divorce being finalized when I nonsuited it. I thought I was going to be divorced. I hated the whole thing too. It was so sad.

((HopeandGrace))

H&G don't worry about not being able to take off your wedding ring yet. I didn't take mine off until last summer, my WH had been living with OW for more than 6 months at that time. I am also still married, although the ring has been removed(it was a step I needed to take at the time). I replaced the wedding band with a family ring containing two birthstones, one for each child. It's a ring that has 2 heart shaped stones and DSx2 names are engraved on the sides. I needed something there because it felt weird not to have a ring on that finger after so many years. I can't imagine what it is like for someone who has been married for so much longer.

Good job on the new duds. Accessorize, Accessorize, Accessorize.

PrincessMeggy, I'm ever hopeful that the judge will dismiss WH's complaints and then I can non-suit mine.

Ridiculous hope, but there it is.