After reading several of the post here, I have to ask the question, does it really help? I posted a message several weeks ago and got one or two replies and all they did was make me angry! I was told to treat the other woman as if she was an ex-wife with the child. I'm sorry, but she is not an ex-wife and never will be!! She invaded my marriage and now I have to treat her with dignity or even respect makes me physically sick!!! I didn't agree to this affair or to the child so why should I be the one to make all the concessions for him or her!! My coming back and trying to make my marriage works seems like concession enough on my part without others telling me that I still have to do more!!! Others tell me to think of Abraham and Sarah, but I don't feel they relate to my situation at all. Sarah asked Hagar to sleep with Abraham, I didn't invite this other woman into our lives!!! <BR>I'm sorry, but I just felt like I had to blow off some steam after reading so may replies about not love busting and controlling your temper and so forth!! I haven't confronted the OW or done anything to show her how much she has hurt my entire family and I really regret it some days if not everyday. She walks around with smuggness written all over her and I just want to scratch her eyes out!!! So tell me anyone, does it really help???

In answer to your question, Does it help, I can only speak for myself, and it has helped me to have this board to vent,and to feel that I am not alone. <P>I do not expect anyone to give me advice as each situation is unique and we are all very different. I have found that the people here are very caring and truly want to support and help each other. <P>If someone expresses a thought that you do not agree with, just take it with a grain of salt. Most likely it was their way of trying to help and they didn't mean to offend or condemn you.<P>You are in a tremendous amount of pain right now and no doubt very sensitive to things that problably wouldn't have bothered you before. <P>You have every right to be angry with the OW who has nearly destroyed you and your family. It is perfectly normal to want to retalliate. I am sure that everyone on this board would like to do the same to their OP's to varying degrees. I know that I have had some pretty evil thoughts. My best friend and I have come up with some very devious, and I must say creative ideas! If nothing else, it provided an escape from the torment. A diversion from the pain. We actually had a great time devising our schemes and laughed our heads off as we imagined her reaction. Of course, none of them were against the law, and part of the challenge was to be sure we would not or could not be discovered. There is one in particular that I am still undecided about whether to invoke --- not illegal, but definitely an annoyance!!! Oh, what fun!!! <P>

i agree with the previous reply and also agree that mb has been a tremendous help for me...i have learned so much from reading as many posts as i can and the support has been terrific...my situation sounds somewhat similar only i am the h betrayer and the ow is also pregnant...i have introduce my w to mb and she is just starting to post and read...at least i know she is trying...whether we work it out or not i think that she will be better able to make a clear decision if she wants to at least try to work it out...keep posting and keep reading the more you do the more you might find out about others who are in your situation and how their feelings related to your own...if nothing else it is a place to vent your anger, rage or feelings...i hope this helps and the site becomes a little more useful...i also know how you feel the first time i posted i got blasted by a couple of people...i guess we all try to do the best and keep each other in check...also we are all very sensitive during this "crisis" time in our lives...good luck and see you here soon i hope... much peace and love ... trying hard