I am having a bad week, tomorrow is my anniversary which is a really tough pill to swallow in recovery, how do you celebrate the vows you spoke when they aren't really valid anymore, and to top things off, my husband and I are going to Punta Cana for a week on the 28th.........
Today I bumped into a friends who knows about the affair and she told me the OW is also going to Punta Cana the same time frame.......at least she will be there 4 days that we are there, my friend also told me the name of the resort, it's about 3 miles from where we will be staying, she is going with her daughter and her new boyfriend..........
I don't even know if I want to go anymore, my husband doesn't know yet, should I tell him?
I didn't tell my friend we were going either........it threw me for a loop now I dont' know what to do, what you would you guys do.................
Help!!!

Hi Jessi! I don't know if I'm in a position to give you any advice, but I'll try. If you plan on staying at the resort you'll probably be fine, but I'd be careful if you start taking tours or excursions.

I think you might want to tell your husband, because I'm sure your anxiety level will be high. However, that being said, I'd defer to the vets.

Is there any chance that this is deliberate? It's a heckuva coincidence to have all of you travel from Canada to the Dominican Republic at the same time. Could she have found out your plans (I'm not suggesting that it came from your husband) and be trying to mess with you guys? Is there any chance you can reschedule? I realize that asks a lot of you, and possibly your employers, but it seems like it may be hard to have a relaxed, fun time when you're always looking over your shoulder for Nemesis. And I don't see how you can not tell your husband. Whether that's a good idea or not, I don't know, but if you're going to stick close to the resort, what excuse can you give (over and over) for not wanting to go out to explore? I think being there at the same time she is could suck the joy right out of your trip.

Hard thing to noodle through. I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide.

tl

Uhhhh, besides O & H, what other parts of the MB program have you decided to ignore?

Of COURSE you tell your husband! Together you and he work out responses assuming every possible way you might meet the POSOW. Brainstorm them out, commit to following them - TOGETHER - (call it "Crisis UA" if you must), and then go on your trip and hope you won't need to use any of them.

Oh, yes, send us a postcard!

I agree that this needs to be discussed as it is quite the coincidence.

Even if it is 100 percent innocent, I'd still discuss it with him.

It is hard to undo the damage he did to your heart, but do remember recovery takes time. You are just now out of the marriage ICU. Take the time on vacation to recharge, and try to reconnect and take things slow

Hi again,
I have spoken to my husband about what I had learned, I don't think he knew about it, it is unbelievable that this is happening........
We are thinking about what to do, we didn't take out the insurance on the holiday, and I did call but the timeline is to short to change the plans. We could go and just stay on the complex, we had only planned on golfing a couple of times off site....
Not much of a touring kind of couple anyway, so haven't decided what to do yet.
thanks for the responses........Neverguessed is right I fell off the wagon a little with the MB ways, but back on track.......