Yeah but its OK Fred, you will when the time is right. Wouldn't worry about the hug really, don't read into it.

Good news, esspecially bout the brownies.

She wouldn't have gone to all of the trouble to make special brownies for you if she didn't think you were special! (I gave Valentines to family members but deliberately left out any men I know because I don't want to give them the wrong idea.) I agree, try not to over analyze, you're doing great!

Thanks CP and KC. I keep telling myself that my attempts to "analyze" are really just my tendency to want "understanding" and "gratification" -- often before their time has come.

"Easy does it" and "one day at a time" are slogans I've known and tried to live by for years. I just find myself reminding me of them more frequently!

More than likely I'll see her tonight at the regular Monday meeting. If nothing else, I'll let her know again how great the brownies are!

Me, I'm not worried about a hug if I have a plate full of raspberry truffle brownies.

Opt

Me too, Opt!

It's been a slow week, but at least I've been enjoying the chocolate-raspberry truffle brownies!

We spoke on the phone tonight, and I did ask her about the dances and lessons. She became very animated over this topic - it's clear to see she really enjoys dancing! She made one comment I thought humorous (not the exact quote):

On the contrary. I remember her saying that one learned better by dancing with multiple partners -- and I told her that. (And I did not suggest we go together, either. I'm going by myself -- at least the first time. I'll let HER suggest going together in the future!).

We're not going to have much opportunity to be together this next week. She's got a dance she's going to tomorrow, and next weekend she's going out of town.

However, I did put together something today that I think will earn me a few points. Next Wednesday is her 8th anniversary being alcohol-free, and I ordered an "upgraded" medallion that arrived today. But even better, I ran into a woman I know who, with her mother, runs a custom gift basket business. So I ordered a basket of imported foods and goodies to be delivered to her house next Wednesday. Just a simple, "Sincere congratulations, warmly, Fred" card attached. Since she's a foodie and I specified her favorite countries, I think the basket will have some super-delicious items she'll like. Good move, do you think?

I guess we'll see how Sunday and the dance lesson turns out.

Yes. Good move.

Very good choice, Fred!

Very Impressive Fred. I'm certain she'll like the basket.
I'm so glad you're enjoying the pursuit of this dear dancing heart.
opt

Pursuit is right! It almost feels like work at times!

My last relationship just seemed to "happen." There wasn't a need to pursue at the time.

Of course, look how that turned out...

No, this isn't a SNL skit. It's just me popping in to apprise everyone of the latest.

I went dancing today. It was the first time I've done any sort of "formal" dancing since I was in elementary school. Do you folks have any idea how hard the waltz really is???

Ballroom lady was NOT there. I was kind of surprised at this, but in retrospect, I'm glad she wasn't. I'm going to need a lot of practice and more lessons before I don't look like a complete fool on the dance floor.

On the other hand, this is not about her, it's about me. And I have to say there were some terrific people there! They were helpful, accommodating and very gentle with a newbie!

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to broach this will BL the next time I speak with her. I guess I'll think of a way. I guess I'm wondering if she stayed away on purpose after I told her I was interested in going, or if something else came up.

On a side note, I'm not sure what's up with the way I've been feeling the last week or so. It's almost as if my interest level has dropped a bit. Not sure why, and I'm not complaining, per se, but somehow this past week has sort of felt like "passing time."

I hope everyone else is doing well.

I agree Fred. Learning the waltz was hard for me too. I've since forgotten how. I do remember I had a great time learning to do it back then though. Good times. I was also surprised at just how much of a workout it can be.



Fred, do you think it's a possibility you feel this way because BL is not exactly..... persuing you? I'm noticing that you're making all the moves, and she's following, which is good to a point. But I don't see her "reciprocating" the desire to initiate much.

I could be totally off base, not realizing if she has or has not been initiating. I just haven't read much about it from you if she has.

No, MyJourney, you're right -- there hasn't been much reciprocating on her part. It's true, most of the heavy lifting has been my doing. I think you've hit on something!

Much of my approach has been in trying to be balanced -- not pushy -- not calling too frequently or being too overt.

The gift basket is a done deal, so we'll see how she reacts to that. I had thought of calling her this evening, but since I'll probably see her tomorrow evening, I think I'll just wait and chat with her then, and tell her of my dance experience.

She's told me that her work is keeping her quite busy (she's working tomorrow, even though it's a holiday), so maybe her mind is occupied elsewhere.

One thing that keeps tickling away at the back of my mind is that she seems to have a full life, and that another relationship isn't on her front burner, so to speak.

I know you have, and it's been quite lovely to see this. It's a healthy path you're on.



I wonder what she is looking for in a relationship.

Although I believe she has acted respectfully and interested towards you, her lack of reciprocity does give me pause. I think you may want, and deserve more. I want you to feel desired by the woman you date.

Thank you MyJourney. I appreciate the sentiment.

Does it make sense for me to say that what I'd really like is something (someone) real?

Absolutely. And in order to attract that, you need to be real with the women you date. Like attracts like. Be open and honest about who you are, and what you want.

In order to do that, you have to envision what you really, really want. Once you do that, you'll be surprised at how things move in that direction.

Then again Fred - your handsomeness might be scaring her away!

This relationship is too new for too much conjecture. You never know she might have been sick but a call would have been nice I guess.

This is fun though isn't it? The newness of a relationship. Ahhh!

I'm having almost as much fun dating my wife again after 18 yrs!

Have fun dancing! I wish I had the guts to go learn a waltz!

Ummm, no.

Now I'm feeling guilty for not having called.


That's really good to hear, Powerbane. Truly!

You know, I almost feel like I'm completing some sort of 'bucket list.' Without the dying, of course (I hope!).

ITA With MJ here. However, I don't have much pause. The triumph with BR girl was to get over the hump of asking women out. You have slain that dragon. And now you have also had a very nice re-introduction to the process of letting someone know you would like to spend some time with them and get to know them; to see if there's chemistry or reason to continue. I think you're starting to see there is success at all turns; just depends on how you look at the situation. Not giving up on the dancer, but you now have a confidence that opens your options - a very desirable trait.

Dance on, Fred!

Opt

Thank you, opt. That was -very- helpful.

The old "forest for the trees," and I fell for it! Why not? I -created- it!

I had dinner with my DD29 this evening (she's having a bit of a relationship crisis of her own) and she basically advised me to "give up" on BR girl (she was a bit confused about the brownies, however). I replied that having dinner certainly kept me away from the meeting tonight. No calls or emails from BR girl wondering about my absence when I got home.

I still have the gift basket arriving Wednesday, so I'm not giving up, yet. But I think it's become clear that this isn't relationship potential.

Sorry, I strayed from the original thought: the triumph, as you so eloquently put it, was in the asking and pursuing. Thanks for putting this into its proper perspective!