I'm also confused about the half way point text.

I'm thinking she would have mentioned the basket if she received it.

Can you call to see how it was delivered? Maybe someone signed for it?

LOL....the Fredinator!



100% agree!

Lol, I agree

PS I like this in yur sig line.--

You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.
~ C. S. Lewis

Smily,

I am not quick to decide, i prefer to try out a few different dating experiences. But after 18 hours in two days, i have a pretty good idea of someone who talks non stop for 13 hours, either about themselves and their past conquests or interviewing me for the job.

Plus, there are signs to watch for which start to tell if the person likes you for money/status, or for you.

I am not spouse hunting, nor do i subscribe to it. I would prefer to date someone for several months to get to know them, and then decide. But in today's society, some older types think they can decide in the first hour. . .

and many of them are still looking,

for me, fred has too many gifts, like a bribe, although i know its a bit of southern culture, i wouldn't trust someone who brought me anything materialistic. Not what the relationship is about. ..

but that's just me. .

later

You're right. And I have every intention of doing as you suggest (well, maybe not ask some cute girl out - unless there's one you know of...). I was quite caught by surprise by her text message.

Of course, I didn't know she was leaving on her trip today, either.

Oh well, my original plan was to wait until Monday, which is the first time I'll have a chance to see her. I'll stick to that plan...

The woman who owns the company who makes them will be at the lunch I'm going to tomorrow. That's when I have to pay for it, so I'll find out then.

Really? Wow. I'll have to think on that a bit.

I've always felt that a gentlemen should always give a lady something small -- especially during the courtship stage.

I believe in being a gentleman. I'm a door-holdin', chair-pullin', hat-removin', bow-and-curtsy type of southern gent.

But you think I might be overdoing it? That it might seem like a bribe? I'd never thought of that.

Hmmm.

Lewis' words. My colors (and I'm still working on them!).

I agree with you Fred, she's a bit confusing.

I think at this point you've made some really nice gestures toward her, but it's now time to hold off for a while and let her give you the next cue that she's interested in you and wants to proceed. The ball's in her court.

Let her work a little bit for it!! We women like that (if we're interested) and don't tend to value something that comes too easily!!

EXCELLENT ADVICE, Sidney! Especially since it's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Yes, I've decided to back away a little and let her make the next move.

Which is why I think I was really surprised by her text message last night.

(Still no word on whether she got the basket or not. But I did learn that it should have arrived EITHER Tuesday or Wednesday, which suggests that she should have).

Don't worry, Fred. I'm a gift giver too, and my motivation isn't to bribe or manipulate. I'm just...a giver - and receive a huge amount of joy from it.

I agree that I don't think it is much to worry about.....it is southern I think....but just be sure not to be spending a ton of money on EVERY gift, OR to be buying a gift at every meeting.

Be thoughtful...you don't want to appear you are trying to impress her with money. (and you don't want that kind of woman)

Not to worry. I haven't had a regular paycheck in 10 months, and my savings are rather depleted.

I'm waiting for

• A refund from Uncle Sam, and
• The first sale from our pipeline to close.

(And just as I'm writing this an email came in strongly hinting that a deal might close via credit card in a day or two!).

your motivation is yours, but your actions also have interpretations by others. . . its the interpretation of your act of which I am discussing.

i would never bring a gift to a date, especially if i was just trying to get to know the person. but then i am from the north, and an atheist, or nihilist, whichever way you want to interpret.

wiftty. . .

Interesting, WIFTTy. So some people (women) might see the presentation of token gifts as an attempt at 'bribery?' I would never have given that a thought!

I must say that an endless stream of gifts was not in my plan, but I thought a spray of flowers, a Packers Balloon and such were more ice-breakers than anything else. Also, I see them as a gesture of kindness and peace. Something that says, I want you to see me not as an enemy or adversary...

IMO trying to manage the perceptions of others is a mistake, and starts you down the path of subtle manipulation.

The only person you can control is you, and if you've examined yourself and your reasons for giving, that's really all you can do.

I was just reading Pepperband's thread about buyers, renters and freeloaders, and the only concern I would have about your tendency (or mine) to give would be if it was running amuck and not being balanced by your taker.

You know Fred I was just thinking that with all the ladies on this site one would think they would be able to help us fellas by starting a post like "How to Understand Women (for dummies)" Perhaps even a book might be appropriate.

BCboy,

You know, all the women in my life (mother, daughter, STBXW, friends, co-workers, etc) are all so dang different I wonder if there's any commonality to write about! :-)

Travis

yes, but in controlling you, you can take into account how you will be perceived, regardless of your intent. not all management of perceptions is manipulation for the bad, some will be the absence of manipulation for the bad. . .

its 1/2 about the encoding and 1/2 about the decoding of any action, gesture or message.

wiftty

This has a lot of truth in it. It reminds me of how its the perception of validity also as the strongest factor is allmost anything sold, say an idea or philosphy. The perception of authority also.

It all comes down to our perception of truth, and our belief of where the authority comes from to live a full life. JMHO