You and son can go pay her a little visit.

She won what? A guy who walked out on a loyal wife and his child?
A sneak and coward?

I know you adore your H. But.....she didn't win HIM. She is with a dark and perverted version of HIM.

You don't want the guy she has but the goodish guy you married.

Hope that makes sense.

The one thing I am "afraid" of is that I make more money than him. I feel that if I shake up his world he will hurt me financially in a divorce..

I would get all of her FB FRIENDS/FAMILY and send them all a letter and expose her.

There is a exposure fb letter somewhere on here.

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When you expose to family, what about her children? Just adult children?

Tabby: Go to the OP's profile page. Look at his or her friends list. If they don't have too many, you can send to all of them. If they have hundreds (and many people do), then you'll have to target them more specifically. You are looking for people who have the same last name, or somebody who writes on the OP's wall frequently. You can also look for people who live in the same city or work in the same place.

When you identify these people, send each one a personal message. The personal message should state that your WS and OP are having an affair and that you are trying to save your marriage. State whatever proof you have, though don't be graphic (i.e. say you have pictures or texts but don't say what's in them).

Change your profile picture to one that clearly shows you and your spouse and your children if possible. Some of these strangers that you send a message to will click on your profile. They should see a happy couple/family. They might even recognize your WS and if he/she has been introduced to this person under false pretences, this will increase the impact of the exposure. Affairees don't just lie to their BS's, but they often lie to other people as well. If they see that children are being affect, it will have an equally powerful effect. Make sure the picture is recent enough that your spouse is recognizable by a casual aquaintance.

Remember, when you are writing to strangers, their initial gut reaction is going to be "who the he** is this?" The message has to be very polite and adhere to the basic facts. Let them verify your story on your profile page and do any further investigating on their own (which will stir up even more exposure).

Oh and one more thing - send all your messages at the same time. Not one message sent to everybody (only put one addressee in the "To" box), but go one by one by one until you are finished. You should also write down these people's names somewhere. The instant that the OP hears about what you have done, they will block you and you will no longer have access to their friends list.

The one thing I am "afraid" of is that I make more money than him. I feel that if I shake up his world he will hurt me financially in a divorce..

My husband left our family totally out of the blue. He never once stated that he was unhappy and we did spend at leat 15 hours alone every week...dinners, talking, sharing a bottle of wine, fishing. I thought everything was fine.

I do believe he left for OW..which was about 8 months ago. One question that I have is even though I rarely see him, when I do he has this HUGE amount of anger directed at me. Shouldn't he be happy? I approached him one day and asked to talked. He told me to leave him the hell alone. Also, after 8 months, why still deny the affair?

I have exposed the affair to everyone. Not sure if it even exists any more because he will not tell me and our son where he lives. So obviously my son has not visited him in 8 months.

Do you live in the USA?
Which state?

ellegirl,

Please stick to one thread. Don't start other ones unless it's on a topic not related to your thread. It makes it easy for new people to read your sitch in one place and to provide input.

You need to get all the info on this woman and I agree that you should go there to find your H.

The next step is to file for abandonment and slap him with the reality of legal work.

You're worried about being hurt financially, but that's going to happen if you end up divorced regardless.

Does your son communicate with him in any way?

In 8 months he has had no voice or physical contact with his dad.

8. What if my spouse leaves me for someone else or is living with someone else?
Because Wisconsin is a "no-fault" state, one party's infidelity is irrelevant for most issues. The court cannot consider this fact in dividing property awarding maintenance, setting support or other financial matters. It can impact on custody and placement issues, however, if this significant other has a negative or harmful impact on the minor children.