I am being vague on purpose because I feel like I am betraying his trust already and by giving details is even more of it. You have to understand I betrayed him in one of the worst ways possible and to do it another way when I am trying to fix my marriage.... Right now I think he'll just probably beat up OM when he gets a chance. BH has never shown any tendencies for harming people or animals before.

I don't think he is a freeloader. He just has trouble deciding about things. I asked him about a time 2 winters ago where he said I should have slept with our neighbor and why he made such an offhanded comment. He said it wasn't actually that he would have approved, just more a get out of marriage card. He is just conflicted about important things in life and when things don't go well, it comes out.

Anyhow, I can tell everyone he has not committed an actual crime since we've been dating, only an attempt to deal drugs once. He was a trouble maker in school and was a HS dropout. But now is finishing a degree. He is changing.

I believe I have taken 100% responsibility for what I have done with regards to the affair. I told him that it wasn't due to unmet needs by him or unhappiness. I let my needs be met outside of the marriage and I failed to protect him and our marriage.

If you have knowledge that a crime is being planned, we would encourage you to contact the police immediately. You can possibly be held criminally liable if you do not.

Marriage Builders does not advocate violence and can't be a party to the planning of a crime. We are locking this thread.