I went to go pick up my stuff at MIL's and H knew I was.... When I get there I discover OW has been there to take him home with her for a few days.......<P>ewwwwwwwwwwww I'm done!<P>cozy

Cozy -<BR>Just to let you know you are not alone in feeling crazy. I am sorry for your pain. Did you think H was not in contact with OW? - I am sorry I do not know your whole story.<P>Hang in there,<BR>Starpony

The last few weeks H has been calling and telling me all the things I wanted to hear except that he had no idea how to stop the contact with OW.... <P>When I tryed to tell him that untill it was over I didn't want to ride this teeter totter anymore... Its been causing migraines... Anyway, as I pushed for H to stop contacting me (Plan B) untill he was done and concluded his relationship with OW ... H doubletimed his calls and his affirmation of his love..<P>Boy did he just prove it or what? I have been dealing with this behavior for YEARS, Ive gotta go on or I'll loose my mind.<P>cozy

Oh...I should have guessed that although the details differ the stories are always, sadly so much alike. I would say get back in your plan B quick - I wish I had not been so quickly seduced out of mine.<P>Cozy you know this if you have been living with it for years but it bears repeating. Words mean nothing if not backed up with action. Problem is the words always sound so good at the time and we are so starved to hear them...<P>Stay strong and take care of yourself,<BR>Starpony

Cozy,<P>I'm here too. One of those 'can't sleep' nights.<BR>I'm so sorry to hear about this. It is so easy to believe what they say. You want their words to mean something.<BR>I don't have any really good advice, except like Starpony, get back to Plan B.<BR>I'm on Plan B-4wks now. I know how hard it is. <BR>I'm praying for you. You do need to stop this teeter-toter. You need to stabilize yourself and your emotions. Plan B is a great way to concentrate on yourself. I am getting much better. I am not letting my H push my buttons and give me false hope.<BR>Hang in there.<P>God Bless, <P>Cheryl

Hi Cozy -<P>I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad...<P>This all just stinks and I know how it is to have it last so long...<P>It's true, you can't believe the words until the actions have confirmed them!!<P>Time to Plan B to keep your sanity!!<P>Listen to me, like I'm so good at this!! NOT!!! I am at a point where H doesn't change his attitude about being with me in the marriage...just whack-a-doodle's when he needs some normalcy in his new teenage life!!!<P>I am not a Plan B'er type (maybe some day!!) but it would help for someone who's spouse at least leans towards wanting them....even if their still too messed up to hold that thought of reality for long!!<P>Shake him up.....Don't play his way anymore!!! It's worth a shot!!<P>HUGS and Strength,<P>Sheba

Cozy,<P>I am sorry to hear about your frustration. I can't say I'm not surprised. How many times do we see someone enter plan B and soon spouse starts to do the things they think that will somehow get their needs met from you.<P>Your plan B is for you, and you get right back to it. Start listening to his actions and not his words. <P>You've helped me sooo much, you deserve to be treated with honesty and love. So, don't let his words deceive you. Start looking for actions that are in line with those words.<P>He doesn't want to lose you, odviously. But the addiction is so strong, that he doesn't know how to break it. When he hits bottom, maybe then he will realize.<P>You take time for you, and keep your eyes on the Lord. Do like Hosea did, keep your conversations with God, and not your spouse.<P>TNT

I really blew it in an e-mail... I said all the mean rotten things that I have held in so long... Maybe I needed to vent...<P>But....<P>I should have deleted H's reply and never read it... H says that since I have hardly had anything to do with him the last 6 months it has been real easy to choose someone who falls all over him and makes every attempt to call, come over and show him love... So much for Plan B....<P>Matter a fact H seems to forget that in all our years of marriage I ever showed him any attention.. Im the one at fault for everything.... So what do you do with that?<P>I don't see any hope at all in just waiting anymore, H is odviously the type that doesn't respond to B... <P>I just don't get it... Im gonna go find my last threads... I think I've gotten more than one clue that H was headed to the OW's as his choice..... Why am I hanging on?<P>I feel like one day she will also come to the end of her rope with H, since at the longest they have made it together 2 weeks... She hasn't had a good dose yet.. The question is am I going to be around when She also throws him out?<P>cozy < I'm a mess! >