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Joined: Oct 2007
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OK. How about the other Qs regarding snooping?


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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He knows I check his phone records, so that is clean. I have webwatcher on computer (he must know) this has been clean also. I am planning to implement some device either in car or on jacket to record conversations. He works in a secure area and also drives a truck, so it would be hard to put something in his work vehicle.


Solution seems impossible, but refusing to give-up.
BW 49
DH 51
DS 16
DSD 's 27,28
Gkids 6
Married 10 years
DDate 06/26/2008
EA 2007-?
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Posts: 38
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Wondering if my post about the other 2 questions appeared, no response back regarding them from anyone yet,.


Solution seems impossible, but refusing to give-up.
BW 49
DH 51
DS 16
DSD 's 27,28
Gkids 6
Married 10 years
DDate 06/26/2008
EA 2007-?
Joined: Aug 2005
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Originally Posted by beingtransformed
The OW got a divorce during the EA with my H.

Do you know the reasons for her D? That might be worth exploring. Her BH may know more about their A than your WH is letting on.




ManInMotion
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(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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She got a divorce because she wasn't happy in her marriage and because she saw in my DH the possibility of getting with him. He is a great guy and apparently it didn't matter to her that he was married to me. SHe wanted to be available if and when my DH became available.


Solution seems impossible, but refusing to give-up.
BW 49
DH 51
DS 16
DSD 's 27,28
Gkids 6
Married 10 years
DDate 06/26/2008
EA 2007-?
Joined: Jan 2011
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beingtransformed - now isn't that just so nice of her (sarcasm). Hang in there, it's a bumpy ride!


BS(me)- 45
WW - 41
D-day 1 - (PA) 01/2011
DS - 6
Exposure: early 02/2011
Started Plan B - 7/11
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I am wondering now about Plan A & Plan B

I haven't been doing Plan A very well. I keep insisting he is still lying and he keeps insisting he isn't. Perhaps I do need to do more investigating. He tells me he never "loved" her and that's why it was so easy to end it. I know I will eventually end up at Plan B because he is unwilling to leave his job. I haven't been able to get my head above water since he is still working with her.


Solution seems impossible, but refusing to give-up.
BW 49
DH 51
DS 16
DSD 's 27,28
Gkids 6
Married 10 years
DDate 06/26/2008
EA 2007-?
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 38
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@AndyM. Yeah she's a real sweetheart.


Solution seems impossible, but refusing to give-up.
BW 49
DH 51
DS 16
DSD 's 27,28
Gkids 6
Married 10 years
DDate 06/26/2008
EA 2007-?
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
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If he refuses to stop working with her then, yes, you need Plan B. Plan A your a-r-s-e off for a VERY short time, just long enough to get your ducks in a row for Plan B. You could do this in a couple of days if you wanted to and I suggest that you NEED to, otherwise you are headed for a nervous breakdown. Nothing is more cruel than watching your H leave everyday for work, knowing he is going to see the POSOW.

Here's a short explanation of Plan B:

How To Plan B



Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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Okay, gearing up for Plan B. Will need much help with it as we barely are making it financially now.


Solution seems impossible, but refusing to give-up.
BW 49
DH 51
DS 16
DSD 's 27,28
Gkids 6
Married 10 years
DDate 06/26/2008
EA 2007-?
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
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Originally Posted by beingtransformed
Okay, gearing up for Plan B. Will need much help with it as we barely are making it financially now.

Read the thread I linked ~ this isn't your problem. It's his. Let him fix it.


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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Originally Posted by beingtransformed
Okay, gearing up for Plan B. Will need much help with it as we barely are making it financially now.

BT, he will have to continue to pay the bills if he moves out. I would explain to him that in order to recover your marriage, he will have to end all contact with the OW, which means leaving that job. Tell him there is no other way and this will end in divorce otherwise.

In the meantime, call the OW's H and ask him if he is aware of this affair. Find out what he knows and come back here and tell us.



"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Don't be surprised if the OW's M ended because of this.


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 38
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The OW is not married anymore.


Solution seems impossible, but refusing to give-up.
BW 49
DH 51
DS 16
DSD 's 27,28
Gkids 6
Married 10 years
DDate 06/26/2008
EA 2007-?
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 38
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I believe th Ow's M did end because of this- it was her call.


Solution seems impossible, but refusing to give-up.
BW 49
DH 51
DS 16
DSD 's 27,28
Gkids 6
Married 10 years
DDate 06/26/2008
EA 2007-?
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
M
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Originally Posted by beingtransformed
I believe th Ow's M did end because of this- it was her call.

Then there's a lot more to this than he's telling you...a LOT more, I'm sorry to say.

Can you try to find her exH? He could give you tons more info that you need.


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 38
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What are you thinking MF?


Solution seems impossible, but refusing to give-up.
BW 49
DH 51
DS 16
DSD 's 27,28
Gkids 6
Married 10 years
DDate 06/26/2008
EA 2007-?
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Originally Posted by beingtransformed
I believe th Ow's M did end because of this- it was her call.
This is not good. I doubt she would have ended her M because of a wish to be with your H. think


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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What more info do I need?


Solution seems impossible, but refusing to give-up.
BW 49
DH 51
DS 16
DSD 's 27,28
Gkids 6
Married 10 years
DDate 06/26/2008
EA 2007-?
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 38
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Yes, this was public knowledge. SHe just needed an excuse to do it. She publically complained about her EXH.


Solution seems impossible, but refusing to give-up.
BW 49
DH 51
DS 16
DSD 's 27,28
Gkids 6
Married 10 years
DDate 06/26/2008
EA 2007-?
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