Fire away.

He has now been divorced for 3 months and has contacted me.

Would it be appropriate to talk to him at this point I guess is my point.

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Congratulations on playing a major role in his divorce.
You must feel so accomplished.


Now, you come to a site called MARRIAGE BUILDERS to crow about it.


And, that is your point.

BTW, I do not "hate" you.
I pity you.
You've traded your soul in for something so cheap and dirty it will follow you for the rest of your life.

I feel sorry for you.
I do not hate you.
You poor, empty, meritless, weak woman, you.

I had no part in his divorce.

Would it be appropriate to talk to him at this point I guess is my point.

Would it be appropriate to talk to him at this point I guess is my point.

I am hoping there will be one or two helpful answers here.

I am been reading like crazy here, first to really understand how affairs affect children and BS's and also to see if there is anything here that relates to my situation. I have seen a couple but nothing that appears to address my situation.

I am single and got involved with a MM. I knew he was married and I went into with my eyes open. The unbusted affair portion lasted 6 years. His wife found out and wanted to go to MC but he refused and left. He immediately moved in with me and we lived together for a year after that. Yes I had contact with his children since their agreement was one week with mom and one week with dad. I now understand how painful that was for his wife to deal with it and I am still amazed the grace (for the most part) in which she publicly dealt with that.

After a year of hemming and hawing on MM's part I told him to either get divorced or go back to her because I was hating living in limbo. He hemmed and hawed some more and when my decide date came I kicked him out despite his protestations. He went back to the wife and we went totally no contact. Well I went totally no contact but he still kept tabs on me via our mutual friends I have since found out. I told our mutual friends that I wanted no information regarding him and they respected that until about 2 months ago.

One of our mutual friends forwarded me an email he had sent her. It basically said that he wanted to contact me and that he had wanted to wait until he was divorced to do so. That he had been in therapy and told the therapist he wanted a divorce because he had never gotten over me and that it wasn't fair to his wife to continue living a lie. That his wife was a wonderful person but he did not love her the way a man should love his wife and that she deserved more.

He went on further to say that based on his sessions with the therapist that if he still had feelings for me he should separate from his wife for 6 months and then reevaluate what he wanted. That during those 6 months he should NOT contact me at all.

He said his wife reluctantly agreed but she was willing to go with the therapist's advice as long as he did not contact me. (he didn't)

When the 6 months was over he filed for a dissolution.

He has now been divorced for 3 months and has contacted me. I had him blocked on FB but he opened a new account and messaged me and would like to see me.

Fire away.

So let me see if I have this straight. MM are redeemable and WW are redeemable but former other women aren't? I had no part in his divorce. I NEVER contacted him. I didn't even know he had gotten divorced.

So let me see if I have this straight. MM are redeemable and WW are redeemable but former other women aren't? I had no part in his divorce. I NEVER contacted him. I didn't even know he had gotten divorced.

So let me see if I have this straight. MM are redeemable and WW are redeemable but former other women aren't? I had no part in his divorce. I NEVER contacted him. I didn't even know he had gotten divorced.

Until you realize that this statement is complete nonsense, no, you will not be redeemed.