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lglg hug


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted by reading
I know it is very upsetting that he spread malicious ideas about you to smear your good reputation. I don't think that it is that unusual for waywards to do it....so try to keep your chin up about it as you make your legal moves now.
I know it is normal behavior for a WW but it was the fact that he said that to our children that made me decide I wanted to proceed with the divorce. He is very manipulative and I can see him using them to place doubt about me. I really have no clue who else he told other than his mother. I am sure now he already told people those lies before I exposed so that is why I didn't get any calls from his friends. I have nothing to be ashamed about but my private medical information is now out there. He had no right to tell people. I will say something about it soon, I just have to think about the wording. Oh, and he shut off my cell phone. The plan is in his name but I had authority on it. My lawyer sent a curt letter to his. I have a trac phone I have been using for emergencies and I gave the number for to the kids. I talked to DD2 who was at WW. About 1/2 later WH texted me the same info she gave me. Like I don't know what he was doing. I e-mailed him back this.

Please don't text me on my emergency phone. I get charged per text and I only have so many minutes.
That number is for the kids to reach me because I don't currently have my phone, as you are aware. You can e-mail me or call the house phone.
As for Sunday you can drop them off at 5:30.
Thanks,
BW

(WH)You've had that cell phone for over a month (???) I guess you don't remember the discussions...

(ME)This issue can be easily resolved. You can contact AT&T and release the number to me. Then I can get my own plan and keep the number.
Thanks,
BW

No response back. Notice I didn't bite on his comment. My lawyer said he did respond the other day stating I had another phone that I was using and he needed to get a new plan. He released the number to me. He hasn't so I sent him this in the middle of a few things I had to inform him of.

I need to get my new phone from AT&T. There are 2 ways to do this, together at the AT&T store or over the phone with both of us present. You will have to reinstate my number under a new plan (I will let you know what plan and what phone I need). Then you just tell them you want to release it to me, I say I will accept it. Also, the kids told me you got 4 new phones. So each one of them will have their own phone correct?

I stuck it right in between my response to a bank question and how the baby bunnies the kids found are doing. laugh
I am going to have to e-mail my lawyer tomorrow if he doesn't respond.

Oh and one night he came over for a pop in to see the kids when ever I feel like it visit. He was pissed at me for something, who knows what. He decided he was going to stay the night. I asked him to leave. NO. I asked for the town house keys so I could go there. NO I told him he was not spending the night. He said watch me. I told him I would call the police. He said go ahead this is my house and they can't make me leave. Imagine the shock on his face when he was awakened by a 6'5" + 300 very muscular police officer calling his name... Yes I did. The police officer had a "talk" with WH and WH agreed with the officer that it was best for him to leave. The first thing the policeman said is "You have your own place to go right? It's not like your homeless. Doesn't see deserve to have her own place?"


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
lglg hug
Thanks for being there for me Maritalbliss.
The kids and I went to church tonight. I am always more calm and centered when I leave church.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
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Holy Cow, LIGTG;

I am proud that you stood up for yourself. I am so sorry that the privacy of your medical history was abused, my H did the same exact thing when I started to take Webutrin for dperession and anxiety. "Because don'tcha know, Barbiecat is on "THOSE meds".

There is just no way to describe the violation of privacy you feel. My husband abused me this way, has been told by counselors this was abuse....and I still doubt that my H "understands it" today! (the amount of abuse- and level of resentment this brings.)

Note of warning, if he is willing to stoop to this level, expect no text, email or conversaation you have with him not to be openly shared with others...(voice recorders, forward and copies.)
What a moron!

Why would you he this to the mother of your children???


Wow. {{{{{{LIGTG}}}}}}}}




Last edited by barbiecat; 03/10/11 09:03 AM.

Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Originally Posted by barbiecat
Holy Cow, LIGTG;
I am proud that you stood up for yourself

I knew he wasn�t going to listen to reason. I had to take control with out loosing control so that is what I came up with. grin

Originally Posted by barbiecat
I am so sorry that the privacy of your medical history was abused, my H did the same exact thing when I started to take Webutrin for dperession and anxiety. "Because don'tcha know, Barbiecat is on "THOSE meds".
There is just no way to describe the violation of privacy you feel. My husband abused me this way, has been told by counselors this was abuse....and I still doubt that my H "understands it" today! (the amount of abuse- and level of resentment this brings.)
My WH mentioned his �councelor� and others told him I was wrong to kick him out. (When he moved himself back in after the first time I asked him to leave.)I said you are seeing a counselor? He said "yes". I know this is BS because as soon as someone tells him what he doesn't want to hear he cuts them out of his life. They think they are right and no one will change their mind.
I do have to admit after WH had a talking to by the police officer he hasn�t tried to stay over. He has had them for 2 weekends and is making statements about his weekend and what the kids have planned so that is a huge improvement. When he comes to see them or take them for the weekend he still just walks in. He still goes to the fridge to get a drink or something to eat. That WILL stop the second my lawyer gives me the ok. Locks will be changed; he will get an official date all his stuff needs to be out etc. All of this will come directly from my lawyer in an official letter not from me.
Originally Posted by barbiecat
Note of warning, if he is willing to stoop to this level, expect no text, email or conversaation you have with him not to be openly shared with others...(voice recorders, forward and copies.)What a moron!
I know he is sharing everything I do, say e-mail etc. with his �friends�. I think it drives him nuts when I don�t react to his crap. I have secret fantasies of one of them contacting me to ream me out and me spilling the beans about the truth. dance2
Originally Posted by barbiecat
Why would you he this to the mother of your children???
Wow. {{{{{{LIGTG}}}}}}}}
Because he is a wayward. He is hurting the kids but he doesn�t want to hear that. He has been told by me and others including his own family this but he just babbles and blameshifts.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
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There are so many people who don't know what is going on and telling each person individually is getting draining. There are people I run into that don't know but either it is a quick passing or all the kids are there. I want to send a general e-mail to people that care about us but don't know. Something like this.

It is with great sadness that I have to inform you that WH has decided he no longer wants to me married. He decided he was done a few months ago. With out my knowledge or consent, he cashed in stocks & various money from our nest egg bought a town home and filed for divorce. Telling everyone individually was getting draining so I decided one e-mail to those who care about us but don't know would be best. If you have any questions or concerns feel free to contact me. Be assured that despite everything that is going on I am doing remarkably well. I have an incredible support system and God is by my side walking with me.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Quote
It is with great sadness that I have to inform you that WH has decided he no longer wants to me married. He decided he was done a few months ago.

With out my knowledge or consent, he cashed in stocks & various money from our nest egg bought a town home and filed for divorce.

Telling everyone individually was getting draining so I decided one e-mail to those who care about us but don't know would be best. If you have any questions or concerns feel free to contact me.

Be assured that despite everything that is going on I am doing remarkably well. I have an incredible support system and God is by my side walking with me.

Looks OK.
Is it COMPLETE?

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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Quote
It is with great sadness that I have to inform you that WH has decided he no longer wants to me married. He decided he was done a few months ago.

With out my knowledge or consent, he cashed in stocks & various money from our nest egg bought a town home and filed for divorce.

Telling everyone individually was getting draining so I decided one e-mail to those who care about us but don't know would be best. If you have any questions or concerns feel free to contact me.

Be assured that despite everything that is going on I am doing remarkably well. I have an incredible support system and God is by my side walking with me.

Looks OK.
Is it COMPLETE?
Oh I forgot add this at the end. How do I word his adultery because I know his has cheated I just don't know with whom or how many.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Originally Posted by letgoletGod
Oh I forgot add this at the end. How do I word his adultery because I know his has cheated I just don't know with whom or how many.

Suggest something like:

Our marriage has been severely damaged by WH's adulteries over the years.

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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by letgoletGod
Oh I forgot add this at the end. How do I word his adultery because I know his has cheated I just don't know with whom or how many.

Suggest something like:

Our marriage has been severely damaged by WH's adulteries over the years.
Ohh... That's good!


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
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With everything going on I totally forgot to mention something that happened last weekend.

I pulled my truck out of the garage and started my clean organize sort. We have a 3 car garage and about 1/2 is storage, boxes and yard stuff. A few weeks ago our oldest went in there, turned on the light and saw a rat go through a hole in the ceiling. Well there was rat poop all over the place. (GROSS!) WH had 4 boxes of crap from his job he quit over 2 years ago. In one of those boxes was FOOD! it was packaged trail mix, packaged tuna but it attracted the rat. As I worked on my separation of assets I discovered something. Everything that was his in card board boxes not sealed had rat droppings and bugs. Everything that I packed in plastic bins with tight lids are fine... Interesting huh?

Now his stuff is way away from ours. I plugged the hole, took care of the rat and bombed the garage for bugs. He can deal with the droppings and dead bugs. It will be a nice surprise for him. If he leaves it I will tell him if I have to rent a dumpster I will send him the bill.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
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No real updates here. WH is still in deep denial walking around like everything is fine. He doesn't call the kids every night like he said he would. He told the kids they would have their new cell phones Monday or Tuesday last week, still no phones. He worked the Knights dinner Saturday night. I dropped of 2 of the older kids to work the dinner. DD2 "helped" in the babysitting room. I dropped them off at 6:30, dinner was at 7:00. I picked up DD2 at 9:00pm and brought her home. DD1 called here on her dad's new phone around 10:30 and asked to be picked up. (now she knows he has the phones and is po'd that he hasn't given them theirs.) When I got there it was just all the people working the dinner. I walked in the door and and saw DS2. He gave me a big hug. Others saw me and came to give me a hug. WH saw me and after a while came over to say "Hi". He awkwardly gave me a hug and I gave him a 1/2 hug. I said "Hi" back and moved on to talking to others. I think he was a little shocked. I knew he wanted me to be there so he could "Play" the happy family but I wasn't giving him that. As I walked around to find DD1 to tell her I was there I was greeted by my other "kids". I could see WH watching me as each kid approached me with excitement and gave me a big hug and called me "mama C". I am sure it ate him up. I told DS2 it was time to go. He put his hands on my shoulders and we did a line dance towards the door. I felt his hands come off my shoulders. Apparently WH had something he needed to say to him. smirk. Is someone jealous? No calls yesterday and no cell phones. I don't know if he is contacting them through e-mail. I want WH to be there for his kids but it isn't happening and they are starting to see things for what they are.

On top of all this Friday I started to have issues that led me to believe I was getting a UTI. I couldn't take it anymore so I went to the walk in clinic yesterday. I don't have a UTI but I do have blood in the urine. After asking me questions the Dr. told me it was kidney stones. Oh what fun, if I pass them it will be painful. If I don't I will have to have an operation. Anyone out there know what I am in for? Any advice on this?


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
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Keep a very, very close eye on this. (UTI/stones)

It could be nothing. laugh. It could be very, very painful. TEEF
There are a few different ways of passing stones...(ultrasound break up.. surgery, good old fashioned...well- er you know)

er, uh. Funny. When we were young we talked about the Rolling Stones.... now?......<sigh>. sigh

Last edited by barbiecat; 03/14/11 10:14 AM.

Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
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Originally Posted by barbiecat
Keep a very, very close eye on this. (UTI/stones)

It could be nothing. laugh. It could be very, very painful. TEEF
There are a few different ways of passing stones...(ultrasound break up.. surgery, good old fashioned...well- er you know)
Oh, I know! The Dr. told me it could be very painful.

Originally Posted by barbiecat
er, uh. Funny. When we were young we talked about the Rolling Stones.... now?......<sigh>. sigh
We're not that old. I am too young to have a rolling stone!




BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
Just so I am prepared, how long will it take for the stone to roll on out? Are we talking days or weeks?


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
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