Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 3
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 3 |
Hi I am new here...and to forums, so a little confused how it all works. I am really needing an outlet to vent and just have people to talk to who understand where I am coming from.
I just found out about my husbands second affair the day before Valentines day, and I have been struggling...We came through our first affair, and had an awesome marriage or so I thought until the night he told me. He keeps telling me we have an awesome marriage still but I can't get over some things right now...So here I am...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Hi clm, welcome to Marriage Builders. It doesn't sound like you did recover from the first affair in that nothing was done to affair proof your marriage. What has been to recover from this recent affair? Unless extraordinary precautions are implemented you are likely facing a 3rd affair too. The conditions that led to the affair have to be eliminated in order to affair proof the marriage.
I would get the book Surviving an Affair so you understand what you are dealing with.
Has he ended all contact with the OW? Is she married and if so, does her husband know what your H has done?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,719
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,719 |
chris - please start reading the articles on this site. Also, the vets will want a brief story of your situation, how long you have been married, kids, etc. There's a plan here that works to restore marriage, but like any plan it's not fool proof.
BS(me)- 45
WW - 41
D-day 1 - (PA) 01/2011
DS - 6
Exposure: early 02/2011
Started Plan B - 7/11
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 3
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 3 |
Okay, so a brief story of my situation...I married my high school sweetheart. We have been married 17 years in April, and we dated 4.5 years before marriage. The first affair happened within the first year of marriage. We were both very immature and tried doing our own things married as one...Obviously not a good choice. Since working through that affair, our marriage for the very most part has been awesome. We have 5 beautiful children. We hardly argue, and we are each others best friends.
This second affair of my husbands started in late Sept/early Oct. with my sister in law...they hid it well, although my sister in law has always flirted with my husband (I think what made the difference is - she recently lost 110 lbs. and got over confident). After there first meeting my husband said she kind of got obsessive and he didn't want me to find out, so he went along with it. They only attempted sex once, and she came to my house to seduce him...she found out I had to work and my kids were at a sitter and found her kids a sitter and came to my house...They promised each other to keep it a secret, but we all know...Your sins will find you out. My husband told me on Feb 13th and we have been seeing a counselor and working on it. I am having trouble coping...I need to VENT so my counselor says....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Who is she married to? And does your whole family know about it? Have you made plans to avoid her in the future?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
116
guests, and
26
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,661
Posts2,323,619
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
|
|
