Hi all,

First let me say Thank You for all the kind posters that helped me in the past. My thread got erased a while back, but I was briefly known as the king of exposure. And for any of those wondering if it works...the answer is YES, it will DESTROY an affair if done according to MB principles.

I am writing now as an update and to kill off some nervous energy...as I have just thrown a match towards some gasoline fumes. While exposure broke up my wife's current affair, despite my best efforts, she continued her serial cheatin' ways. We are in the process of divorce, however; I still have access to her call logs. I have known for about 2 weeks that she has been carrying on an affair with a married man, father of 6, since early January. Yesterday she was shopping abortion clinics.....while I have nothing left for her, I do not want blood on my hands. If I have knowledge and I do nothing...then I am complicit.

I confronted her tonight...."you really can't go through with murdering your child can you?" I got the usual lies and denial...so I went nuclear. I sent texts to her family and contacted the WH's wife through Facebook. "His cell # was the subject, and I said if this is your hubby's cell#, you need to check his call logs, because he is having an affair with my soon-to-be ex. Her # is xxx-xxx-xxxx. If you cannot access his records I will provide them to you. I am sorry to bear bad news, but I wish someone would have told me the first time she cheated"

The only mildly satisfying thing in the last few months is that she (USAW= Unapologetic Serial Adulterous HO) just came back in and asked
USAW: "Did you message his wife"
Me: Yes
USAW: Why? You know I am having an affair? He was just helping me with some business stuff!
Me: SURE he was...tell you what...let's just let his wife decide when she sees the call logs. Doesn't matter what I think.
USAW: No response to that...just color draining from face.

Thanks again for the most uplifting forum on the net, and useful I might add....my vent is over and I feel better.

Hi Drscott,

What happened to your wife after her last dismissal. I presume that she got another job. Is this where she met OM2?

Yes....although I am not sure of the details, since we are in the process of divorce. I just noticed a number popping up with increasing frequency, so I got curious and did a trace through Intelius. The phone was registered in his wife's name, so it took me a while to figure out who he was, because they have different last names.

As proof of "they always affair down", this guy was arrested and charged with a felony for running a pain pill mill. Maybe that is why the last names are different now? But once I found her Facebook page it said his name, together for 25 years, six daughters....so once I saw the calls to the abortion clinic, I knew I had to expose.

I have not heard anything from her family that I texted or from the man's wife. I did not expect anything from her family, because their attitude has always been "that is between you and her" and then they act like nothing happened. Which to me is enabling and approving. But still...they need to know.

If I don't hear anything from the man's wife..should I try another avenue? His early 20's daughter is also on Facebook. I also found her home # on whitepages.com. And it also matched up with two calls on USAW's call log.

SNOOPING TIP: When all of this first went down, I downloaded all call logs in excel format and have kept doing it out of habit until the divorce is final. What I do is download texts+calls and I have two columns...the first is sorted by date/time. The second column is sorted first by number...then by date and time. This has been very useful as far as forensic analysis, especially coupled with a keystroke logger and bank statements. I just keep adding to the same file each month, so I have several years now of sorted calls that I can sort data in many ways.

Well, her sister and I just got through with a long texting ping-pong. The families attitude is that I am jealous and controlling, and that all of the affairs were figments of my imagination. Keep in mind that this sister actually saw email convos of my wife's AP and her conspiring about how to fool me for their upcoming Vegas trip.

I basically told her that I knew it was easier to paint me as jealous and crazy than accept that her sister is a serial adulteress...but that her enabling also constitutes acceptance. I told her that her sister needs help and guidance from the family, not this.

The funny moment was when she asked why I would stay with a wife I did not trust. I informed her that initial divorce papers had already been signed and filed. Which was news to her....so who's hiding things now. Also, my access to USAW's phone records has been shut down. That's OK also, as I needed to get off the family plan now anyways. Going to get my own account tomorrow.

You should most certainly be jealous of your marriage. Regarding her previous incident with her last adulterous patient, there should be extraordinary precautions put in place.

I remember that you have no children and that she was a clever woman- I hope my memory serves me correctly. Dr Harley recommends divorce in these circumstances. Certainly now that she has broken the boundaries a second time.

Did you and your wife meet each others emotional needs? Quoting Einstein: It takes an intellectual to solve a problem but a genius to prevent it.

Also, what is your emotional status after this discovery?

Yes, you remember correctly, no children and very devious.

I don't believe that I ever got full disclosure. And I kept catching small lies (no such thing after an affair though), and she violated EP's that we had put in place (friending single guys on FB).

The final straw was when I happened to look on her cousin's FB page and saw pictures of her and OM #1 at the New Years 2009 party. I was the only one who saw a problem with that for some reason. I asked her and her cousin to remove them. The cousin refused, and she carried on like nothing had happened with her cousin. Was I crazy for being upset about that? Anyways, I said it was me or the cousin, because I could not be around him anymore. She told me family always comes first, and I filed for divorce shortly after.

My state right now is basically just angry at all of the time, emotion and money wasted on her. She was having sex with everyone but me and got pregnant with another man's child. Those were the only things I wanted her to give me. But a friend made me realize why it was that way this morning. Because she was unwilling/unable to give me full disclosure, there was no chance for true intimacy on her part...makes sense, easy to see from the outside. Not so easy to see from where I am at.

What are the legal implications of this divorce. Does her adultery count against her in your state/country?

How do you cope at work?

No, Texas is a no-fault state unfortunately. My function is good now....it has been going on so long now, and I am coming to the end of dealing with her, so things are looking up. Thanks for asking.

Looking at the divorce you will lose an unrepentant wife as well as her enabling family.

Are you looking after yourself physically? Do you get a balanced lifestyle?

Exactly....I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I got my own cell phone yesterday, and it was weird not being hyper-vigilant and checking phone logs.

I need to start jogging....I haven't done too much since duck season ended, however; gonna start chasing the redfish and flounder next weekend. Me and my Mom go fishing EVERY weekend during the summer. She is hard-core....it's hard to pull her off the water!

EDIT: I still have had no response from OM's wife through Facebook message. I have her home # and 21yo daughter's FB page as alternates. Where should I go from here? I wonder if he intercepted the message?

I guess a registered letter to her would do the job.

In my distant youth, I was a registered rider as well as secretary for a running club.

Running will totally remove your stresses. I would start with cycling to build your basic fitness. Cycling takes quite a slice of your time so, once fit, this is where running takes over.

Gentle tip with running: Never push distance too quickly, the muscles develop much quicker than the tendons, hence the many runners without knee cartilages.

Is this exercise a form of sublimation resolving your married relationship?

Never thought about it that way....hehehe, maybe?

I will say running is my post-break up routine. Get skinny, feel better....lots of benefits to running. I have a 3 mile path through my neighborhood that I do. It seems to be the magic number for me.

BTW, if you have not seen Running the Sahara, I highly recommend it. 3 distance runners cover 4000 miles in 111 days. Basically 2 marathons a day, with no days off.

I have friends that have done similar. These folk look VERY old today.

I would not recommend doing extreme distance. Enjoy your three mile run and try to vary the the view.

Maybe you would like to examine Professor Noake's book "the Lore of Running" from a professional prospective.

I hope you are not running on concrete paving stones. The impact is very bad for the joints, and there will be payback in later life.

Are you able to run on tarmac or grass?

Believe me, I have no desire to run those crazy distances...3 miles is my magic number. But the movie is inspirational and an interesting study in psychology. Those guys in the movie are tough as nails. Also, the health science that went into the effort is interesting in the special features. As far as my interest in running, my first love is Judo and BJJ, but I have not trained in 6 years and I want to get my cardio up some before I resume...

As far as concrete tearing up joints I am not so convinced. I have a pretty extensive sports medicine background, plus I do disability and impairment evaluations as part of my job. And the converse of that argument is I see people everyday who have been sitting on the couch the last 15 years and have terrible degenerative joint disease...

So here's my theory. As long as you don't have any biomechanical abnormalities in your God given running stride and you are height/weight proportionate, I don't think running on any surface tears your joints up. However; those with stride abnormalities that could be trauma induced or developmental, should stay away from jogging. In fact, cartilage does not have a direct blood supply and receives nourishment from "intermittent compression"...so in theory, weight-bearing exercise should help your joints, not harm.

That being said, I unfortunately have to run on pavement where I am at now. At my bachelor pad, I had a city park across the street with a 3 mile run through the woods..AWESOME! Except I learned not to wear blue...the horse flies liked it for some reason. I jog with my lab and we were getting swarmed by those painful buggers! You cannot outrun them! I looked down at my heart rate monitor and it was 180...just had to put up with it...miserable.

As far as round 2 of exposure, I am going to try one more FB message and then send a letter....

Interesting, Judo was my high school sport. I stopped when I picked up a scar on my elbow, each time I breakfalled the scar reopened. By the by, what is BBJ?

Many of my marathon friends had their cartilage removed, in fact, I can't think of any that did not have the knee op done. My distance was always half marathon and training kept to 5 miles. Running had always been boring to do on my own, but working close to the foothills of Cape Town's table mountain, my jog became an adventure.

180bpm was my cycle sprinting rate when I was 30. I presume this is your age area?

Back to the divorce: I recall that Texas had a law that allowed a spouse to claim funds from their wayward partner on the basis that their activity put the betrayed spouse at medical risk. I thiiink it was Prinscessmeggy that posted this detail.

Have you Plan B'd your missus while the D is imminent?

BJJ= Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Yeah, Judo is rough....that's why I like BJJ, all of the ground work and none of the high amplitude throws.

I am surprised about all of the knee ops on your friends....I really believe it is a combination of all factors, and I don't completely discount surface hardness. There's so many variables that I say just better not to worry about it and stay in shape...and practice moderation in distance.

Thanks for the law tip, I will ask my attorney.

Yes, plan B is in place.

Please excuse me for the following week, I have to both draw up and write exams. This means that I get a "sort of" break after April fools day (my exam).

Maybe the folk in the divorce column can give you more pertinent details. I see that they are not so busy as the "Surviving an affair" section, but most of the posters are from your part of the world.

How do you feel that Judo worked in transition to BJJ?

I'm doing Judo at the University, but there isn't an actual Dojo here in town. There is, however, a BJJ and an MMA that does BJJ. I was thinking once I'm done with school I might transition.

I'm not sure I'll miss mat burns on my toes... or what I think may be a broken toe I got this week.

I think you would really like BJJ....BJJ is like Judo's sister sport. They evolved from the same knowledge base, with BJJ focusing more on the grappling, and Judo more on the standing. The BJJ guys are light years ahead of Judo on the ground, and vice versa standing. But without all of the throws, BJJ is much safer and easier on your body. Feel free to PM me, good to see another judoka around.