Hi,

Here is my story. I discovered my husband's affair 10 months ago and decided then to give him a second chance. Now I found out that he is in an emotional affair. I'm seriously thinking about divorce. After the discovery, my trust in him was zero and the thing he did to "gain" it back was to tell some more lies. I'm just so disappointed and hopeless.

Welcome to MB.
There is no hope without a PLAN of ACTION.

Lucky for you, you've come to a place where we can help you make a plan.
If you can resist basing your actions on your emotions, you will do well. You will find hope.

First, READ the "Basic Concepts".

Second, BUY the book "Surviving an Affair". (see the bookstore)

Third, tell us about your marriage.
When?
Kids?
Other important details.

LINK to Scotland's thread for new posters.

Please put a GPS on your H's car without him knowing.

Please do NOT skip this step.
LINK to GPS thread

Mihaela, Welcome to MB.

Please tell us about these two affairs. What did the first one involve? Was it a physical affair (PA?) How did he meet the woman - through work? How long fid the affair last? How did it end? Is she an old girlfriend, or a neighbour? Did you make sure that there could be no further contact between them - perhaps by his changing job?

What makes you say that the second affair is an emotional affair (EA)? How did you find out about it? Does it involve the same woman, and if not who is this new woman?

We have 3 years of marriage. Our daughter is 2 and a half. We have very different backgrounds, coming from different cultures and continents. He's from the Middle East, I'm from Europe. I discovered his first affair by chance. He had forgotten to sign out from his email account and that day, out of curiosity, I was going through his emails and saw pictures of him and her and emails sent back and forth between them. He was at that time in contact with other women as well, with whom it seemed that he had been chatting every now and then (love words though in all the emails to those women) I confronted him the next morning showing him the pictures. He admitted and begged for forgiveness. I asked for divorce but after I calmed down I said to give him another chance. Since then, I am struggling with trust issues. When I think back at what happened, I can't believe that I'm still here. I sometimes feel guilty for staying in this marriage, for allowing this to happen to me.

Lately. he had been going out and coming up with excuses for being late. Like going to the pharmacy around the corner and coming 1 hour later, taking 3 hours to go to the grocery shop. He says it's all because of my trust issues and that he's not doing anything wrong.

This morning, he was in the shower and I answered a phone call for him. It was a woman. The same number called later today.I don't know if it's the same woman.

I am soo sorry you are here I would defintley be getting a lawyer and filing for a divorce you are way too young.

Did you expose the last affair? If not then that is why he is in another affair, I am sorry. If you did not expose then he felt like he got away with it and there was no consequences, he does not believe that you will divorce him if you let this one slide.

But if you do not want to save this marriage then you have every right to file.

The first affair was physical; I have pictures to prove it. I'm not sure if he is having another affair now, but I discovered phone calls from a "mysterious" woman. Last week, I found out he had other email accounts that I didn't know about. When I asked to see what was inside, he said he'd forgotten the password (hard to believe) He's very distant, doesn't talk much, gets irritated when asked where he's been. All this makes me think that he's having another affair. The woman was calling this morning from his home country, that's why I say it would be an emotional affair. I'm not sure though. What I know is that he is hiding something.

I did expose the first affair. I told his parents first and sent them the pictures too! I didn't care what would happen then. I wanted to show them what their son was doing. He blames me for telling them and for showing them the pictures. I told his sister too and my sister, but not my parents. Maybe I should have told them too. I still feel that he got away with it quite easily and this drives me nuts. Now his parents talk to him as they used to, as if nothing happened. I know it's not good to remind him. What I feel now is that everybody else got past it except for me. I'm still struggling and paining. I don't know if I want to stay anymore. I had other expectations from him. I'm very disappointed.

Do you live in Europe?
What country?

If you had no child with him, you could leave him immediately.
However, a 2 year old is a reasonable reason to try to turn this ship around.

There is NO REASON for a man to take 3 hours to grocery shop.
He's "busy" during those hours.

I'm from Romania, but now we live in the Middle East.

And the divorce laws where you live are ???? What?
What are your chances for child custody in the event of a divorce?

PS:
Your reading/writing skills in English are impressive.

It's about midnight in the Middle East.
Why are you awake?
Having problems sleeping?

I know. If it were't for our daughter, I would have left him after discovering the first affair. With children, it's more complicated.

Are you having sex with your H?

I would get the child only if he agrees to it. If he will fight for custody, he will get it. Many scenarios are going on in my mind right now. I'm afraid to make him mad because of the custody problem later. I live in a country where women need their husband's approval for going abroad!!! Imagine child custody.

Thanks. I've been to the US twice and am now working with English native speakers.

Can you sneak yourself and your child to Romania?