I wanted to put what happened to me out on this forum because maybe either someone can shed some light on how to get around this problem or to alert others in time to avoid this issue. I confirmed my WH's PA because I found the prepaid phone he had begun to use to contact the OW after he assured me that he ended contact with OW because it bothered me. I went from D-Day (PA) until just before Christmas '10 believing that he was committed to working on our M. He did get another phone and I saw on his checking account online activity (he didn't know that I had found out how to access) that he had a debit charge for "A T & T Vesta" with an 800 number listed. I called the number with WH's debit card number and they gave me the area code + last 4 digits of the phone number that the payment reloaded. To get the prefix, I called their customer service and made up a story about my (college) child programming his number in my Blackberry that later crashed, but I had not written the phone number down. I had to immediately get a hold of my child who was back at college, but I couldn't because I didn't have the full number. I gave them enough info like that I knew the area code and remember the last 4 digits, and that my WH reloaded the phone on the exact date for the exact amount charged to WH's card. They believed me and went on and gave this "frantic mom" the needed first 3 digits.

My WH found out that I had his prepaid phone number when his sister gave him too much info. Within about an hour of his conversation with her, I called the prepaid number and it had been changed. The CSR told me that the customer (my WH) called to change the number and "make it private." Even though I had the A T & T account number, the new phone number could not be identified by that account number (even though it would remain the account number.) If you wanted to reload the phone or find any info about it, you would have to give them the new telephone number in order to get any information about that new telephone number. I was so outdone. The problem for me now is that I know that he has obtained another prepaid phone. But by changing the number to a "private" one, he keeps saying that he does not have a phone, and I can't prove that he really does, so I look crazy and he constantly tells his family that I really am nuts.

The way to get round that problem is to get him out of your home until he ends the affair and proves that this has been done.

Go to Plan B. Please ask a moderator to move this post to the forum Surviving an Affair for more help.

I'm so sorry to hear that he is manipulating you and hurting you even more.