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#2492659 03/25/11 04:03 PM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 2
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drakej Offline OP
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I am new to forums but I am a lost right now, just need someone to talk to. Heres my story, I am not sure what to think or do. Dont want to talk to family or friends more than the one because if we work through this I dont want anyone to look at him different, or think I am stupid for forgiving.

My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. We were not mad in love when we first got married. He had a one night stand with a girl in Vegas 9 months into the marriage. When we got married it was because I was pregnant, not for love. He was deployed of 6 1/2 were we were able to email each other we fell in love. We talked about the one time and went to a therapy. We worked on the marriage and have been great till about a year ago, lost my job had some medical issues and we did not have sex for 6 months. Well he resently had to go to Vegas again for work. This time however the group he was hanging out with, had some high school friends that lived in Vegas, well there was this girl that joined and well my jusband after a week hanging out with her developed a relationship and sleep with her, she did not know he was married till the end. However my husband told me after i asked if they had a connection, that they did. He says he wants me that he feels ashamed about what he has done, said that he was lonely, that wants to figure out why he did what he did.

I am not sure what to do. This happen a little over a week ago, yes they have texted when he first got home but not since. I have laid with him again and it was some of the best in our marriage, I however feel stupid for doing that. I want him next to me and the next minute I want him out of my house. I am so confused we are going to therapy together to see if we can save this. I am just not sure how I am suppose to act. Do I prance around the house, do I make him work for me again, what am I suppose to do?

Anyone with advice? I am all ears, I do love him, I just dont know if this pain of what he did or the thought of it happening again will ever go away, am I suppose to yell at him. Some times I just want him to hold me.


BS: 28yrs
WS: 30 yrs
DA: 9
SN:8
SN:3
Married 10 years. 1st marriage for both
WS meet their AP? on a military TDY
Only a week physical then a week of texting


drakej #2492690 03/25/11 05:54 PM
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 121
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pdc Offline
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pdc #2492705 03/25/11 06:37 PM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 2
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drakej Offline OP
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 2
Thank you for the link, I am trying to learn Forums the only person I have told this too said that this may help me being I dont want to tell any one.

I am just not sure what to do or were to go, the counselor wants to see us seperately he thinks our marriage is strong enough to do a one on one with us just to see what I guess we will say when not in front of each other. He said that he normally will not ask couples to do that but said he thinks it is what we need. So till then I just want to talk and figure this whole thing out.


BS: 28yrs
WS: 30 yrs
DA: 9
SN:8
SN:3
Married 10 years. 1st marriage for both
WS meet their AP? on a military TDY
Only a week physical then a week of texting


drakej #2492707 03/25/11 06:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 520
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Posts: 520
You have to tell, and you need to tell. Secrecy lets the affair flourish.


Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
RidicSit #2492728 03/25/11 08:18 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879
exposure is the first step on recovering, with out it it will happen again, and again, and again. I am sorry but you will need to expose this affair if you really want to save this marriage.


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