If you all think that what I want is sex, you could not be more wrong. Increasing the frequency of sex will do nothing to fix my marriage, and in a way, I think that MB is about increasing the frequency in the hopes that this will satisfy the HD male. High desire is really NOT about frequency. The problem is really more about communication.

Is there a male equivalent for a nymphomaniac?

I found it:

http://www.medfriendly.com/satyriasis.html

Wow.

My WxW has been married only FOUR times.

And I wouldn't trust her judgment on whether the sun rises in the a.m. or p.m.

Maybe. His most recent post seems to indicate you are correct. I share his intense focus on sex as the alpha and omega of male existence. Perhaps his thoughts and feelings go no deeper than that.

Then again, as I said before, in the current legal and political climate there are certain thoughts and feelings cannot be posted on a public forum without risking "material adverse impact" in real life.

So what are you doing about this, cemar? How are you communicating to your wife about this problem?

Geeeez...talk about putting words in someone's mouth!

Sure, it can be and intimate experience but you said it's THE MOST intimate experience and that just isn't true for everyone.

I think Ticky Tock said it can make some women (like her) feel like a prostitute. How in the world would that be an intimate experience? Most would probably better describe that as degrading.

Just because OS feels intimate to you, cemar, doesn't make it so for everyone.

P.S. and some people even find it disgusting...which would override any intimacy OS can induce, wouldn't you say?

I'm not even going to touch this.

Okay, cemar. How about we quit beating the OS dead horse and talk about communication for awhile. What is the problem with communication, as a whole, with you and your wife?

Words!! I said WORDS, little miss dirty mind!

Cemar has been asked multiple times about why he isn't talking to his wife about this instead of us. Seems to me he's not communicating, so of course there will be a communication problem, entirely of his own making.

Oh...WORDS! Tee hee - my bad! (and I do mean bad!)

maritalbliss:

Well the problem my wife has with communication is that her non-verbal communication is essentially all negative. If you tell someone that you love them, but your actions do not support this, then you have to believe the actions over the words.

For example: When we used to have date nights, we would have a great evening with me trying to open up verbally. My wife also enjoyed talking with me. But then maybe I would try to do something as innocent as hold hands, and she will pull away after a few seconds of this.

Ever watch otehr couples and maybe the guy will give the woman a nice gift or do something she likes, and the woman will reach over and kiss him while saying thanks. If I do similar things, my wife will just say thanks, will make NO effort to do anything physical. Do this a lot, and it really becomes a highly NEGATIVE communication from the woman to the man. I fwe go to a movie theater, my wife does NOT like me to put my arm around her. I asked her once while she does not like to even hold hands while we shop in the mall, and her response was that she did not want her school kids to see that (she is a teacher).

So when I try to meet her needs, she responds to me at best with , thankyou. THere is never any physical contact, and it is the PHYSCIAL contact that actually "talks" to me. Actions really are worth a lot.

Anything about how you communicate to her? Verbal and non-verbal...

So it's not just oral sex and kissing, which you have discussed at length for nearly a year here. It is other and most signs of physical affection too, and this seems to occur in private as well as in public.

It might be that, not only does she send out negative messages that are perceived by you as not loving you, she might actually NOT love you.

If so, then why would that be?

So what did she say when you told her that you would like for her to hug you whenever she said thank you?

SugarCane:

You are assuming that women are naturally affectionate when they are in love. This is not neccessarily true. Women that have body image issues, women that have become assexual, may likely have problems being affectionate. Years ago when I asked my wife what the problems were, she admitted that she was ashamed of her body. She is overweight. She is very unhappy with what she has become. It is hard to be sexual when you do not FEEL sexual. I have no dought that SF and affection are probably the 9th and 10th needs for her. Being in love is not going to change that.

maritalbliss:

I actually told her one day that I would like her to kiss me when she comes home after work. THis lasted for about 2 days. It was CLEAR that when she did this, she was doing it FOR me, that she really did not want to do it. Why not do physical things with your spouse becasue you LOVE to? If your not into the physical stuff in marriage, it will be PAINFULLY obvious. If I ask her to hug me, then I will know that every hug was done FOR me, and when compared to a genuine hug, why even bother?

Cemar,

I'm about the most unaffectionate person on the planet. I didn't even like being held when I was a baby, according to my mother. I need a lot of personal space, and I generally don't like people being in it.

That being said, when I am "in love" I love to touch and cuddle and hold hands. Those "in love" feelings create a desire for affection that generally isn't there for me any other time.

So, being in love can indeed change things.