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#2498135 04/15/11 06:01 AM
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What do you think about dating sites?
Which are your experiences?

Did someone found the "right person" in there?

btw, as you can see, my name is Jack.
I'm newbie and looking forward to meet new people, ask and give some advices, whenever i'll be able to.

greetings.

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What advice are you able to give? What is your experience with marriage, divorce and dating after divorce?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
SugarCane #2498138 04/15/11 06:18 AM
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I am married, so I don't do dating sites......but I would say be very very careful. I know a woman who was stalked and entrapped on one, and not for the purpose of dating her. You just never know who might REALLY be on the other end of that connection.

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Dating Site should not be your only resource. Be open to blind dates set up by friends, ask out people you know are single, meet people in various environments, say hi to people in supermarkets. Then go check your profile.
~optimism


Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01)
Divorce from WW final 9/16/10.
Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10)
Mine: S(16), D(11)
NatureGirls: S(23), D(21)
Another EA Story
optimism #2498183 04/15/11 08:34 AM
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Hi Jack, welcome to Marriage Builders. How far out of your divorce are you? What was the reason for it? How old are you? How old is your ex? Do you have kids? Was your divorce smooth or rocky?

The answer to these questions will go a long way toward understanding your perspective.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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I met my second husband through Match.com.

If you want to meet someone who is interested in more than a fling or free dinner, go with a paying site. Beware of anyone who is a widow/er with no kids, or never married, has a great photo and doesn't care who she dates as in size, income, smoking, etc. The telltale sign is when they want to go immediately to their yahoo account. These are scam artists.


Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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I met my wife on Eharmony. It is the least meat-markety of the bunch, and can be extremely annoying because you cannot go browsing through the meat market, like you can on other sites - you are limited to the 0-5 matches they select for you every few days.

But if you are patient and know how to weed the good matches from the so-so matches, it can work, at least it did for me. But you do have to give it time, don't expect a good match to show up in the first e-mail from them.

AGG


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Originally Posted by Greengables
Beware of anyone who is a widow/er with no kids, or never married, has a great photo and doesn't care who she dates as in size, income, smoking, etc. The telltale sign is when they want to go immediately to their yahoo account. These are scam artists.

GG, Why do you say this? I don't understand what being a widow has to do with it...you and I have both been there! And what do you mean about 'go to their Yahoo account." ???


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
KayC #2498964 04/17/11 07:31 PM
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I think AGG is warning against scammers who use a certain "profile." There is very little that is unacceptable to them, and they want to move into off the dating site very quickly where they can work their scam quickly and without interference.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Inside Edition just did a story on a man who used E-Harmony raping a woman on their second date, he turned out to be a repeat offender with multiple sexual assaults convictions.

Another woman went to meet her date at a TGIF type of place only to have the guy rob her, he was later caught eating at their meeting place.


I never thought about it but really you are meeting a complete stranger (unlike a blind date from a friend)

If you can you should do a complete background check, scammers know how to work the system and read people, not saying this to scare anyone one but that is their job and it they are still working their con it means their good at what they do.

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Originally Posted by swan's song
Inside Edition just did a story on a man who used E-Harmony raping a woman on their second date, he turned out to be a repeat offender with multiple sexual assaults convictions.

It was actually Match.com, not E-harmony, but I am sure it can happen on any site. Being careful should definitely be the m.o. in online dating, just as it should be for craigslist, buying a used car, or anything else where strangers are involved.

AGG


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Originally Posted by swan's song
scammers know how to work the system and read people, not saying this to scare anyone one but that is their job and it they are still working their con it means their good at what they do.

Gee, sounds like my last husband! LOL


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
KayC #2499241 04/18/11 03:02 PM
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Originally Posted by kaycstamper
Originally Posted by swan's song
scammers know how to work the system and read people, not saying this to scare anyone one but that is their job and it they are still working their con it means their good at what they do.

Gee, sounds like my last husband! LOL

I keep meeting guys who scare me because they're REALLY good at reading people (so was my ex), and I'm not. How can one get better at this?


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer
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Kay, I should have been clearer. Anyone POSING as a widower/widow. The scam artist seem to have fixed on this as a good profile.

I've had contact with widowers who won't tell me when their wife died, or from what, and they don't bring up that I'm a fellow widow. They want to use gmail or hotmail or yahoo immediately because they've only signed up for the free weekend, even through they state their income is $150,000+.

From what I've read on the young widow/widowers bulletin board, the same sort of profile is used by females. I know some women and men who have been initially conned. It didn't last long among the bereft group because some of it just doesn't ring true. I don't know if it would be easy to see if you haven't been there. Maybe it is.

As for real legit widows, we're great! Okay, we're just like everyone else. some of us are great, others not so much. Some of su are positive and upbeat, some are bitter and morose.


Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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If I was to date someone on line (and I'm still not interested in the least) I would want to check them out and I would be up front with them about that. I checked Jim out and let him know up front I was going to do that. They shouldn't have a problem with that, they should understand. If they don't...goodbye! smile


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .

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