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The entrenched wayward will keep giving in to pleasure until their conscience is so far stuffed they no longer can stop themselves from it? Are you trying to apply this thread topic to your own situation? Letting you know, I started this topic specifically with wayward wives in mind. I never intended to apply any of this to wayward husbands. I am not prepared to apply any of this topic to your WH.
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Joined: Apr 2011
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No - my WH doesn't fit into this category. What has shocked me lately is the number of church related adulteries on the forum both WW and WH.
I am still trying to determine what was discussed concerning knowing right from wrong versus a character flaw. Is it the addiction that makes them fully abandon all their morals or is it truly a character flaw. What is the difference in them on Category 1 versus Category 2.
I just can't imagine how someone who is devoted to God can do this.
When it comes to my WH - I know he falls into the category MelodyLane established of being able to compartmentalize. He can only be fixed when he reaches bottom. I put him also into the category of low bottom wayward. He will need to lose it all before he becomes repentant.
Last edited by PrayIncessantly; 03/02/12 11:55 AM.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: Nov 2013
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I am sorry, but this right here... makes it seem hopeless for BH to even use MB Tactics or anything at all. It seems like you can only call it quits or pray for a miracle...
ME\30
WW\28
DD\3
For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy
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A BH has a very good chance of winning his WW back if he follows the plan without cherry-picking. It is not a joy ride, but it is very possible.
If and when it starts to feel hopeless, he should contact his doctor about antidepressants to help him keep going. This is a fight he can win.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I think you have a very good shot here. She reads like the more 'typical' wayward wife, i.e. she has a conscience. She feels horribly guilty and miserable but addicted to OM. She's only leaving you because the guilt is getting very hard for her and the A becoming more entrenched. Because she has a good conscience, she is terrified of people finding out. Her conscience's reaction to the initial exposures is an excellent sign. Excellent. However exposure is the only thing capable of breaking her addiction. You have an excellent shot using exposure. She just wants to slide into her addiction unnoticed by anyone but don�t you dare let her! Recovery is more possible with the typical wayward wife. See below. 1. No previous adultery
2. Her adultery choice knaws her conscience and she has difficulty reconciling her behavior with her beliefs.
3. Physically suffers with a guilty conscience. Difficulty sleeping, eating, concentrating.
4. Has fallen head-over-heels "in love" with OM, which is often an old flame.
5. Has spiritual/religous beliefs she must ignore in order to "follow her heart".
6. Cries frequently but privately.
7. May turn to alcohol to numb her conscience.
8. Feels powerless and overwhelmed by her feelings of desire.
9. Hates herself.
10. Cannot look at her husband or others who trust her without feeling worse, so begins to avoid people who love her. NOT the "run-of-the-mill" WW
1. Previous adulteries or cheated on boyfriends.
2. Barely recognizes her conscience.
3. Works out, feels good, sleeps like a baby.
4. Not "head-over-heels" in love, but loves the attention.
5. "Follow your heart" IS her compass in life.
6. Cries for an audience, especially when caught.
7. May drink, do drugs, but does them to heighten her sense of pleasure.
8. Feels powerful and in control.
9. Loves herself. Why not?
10. Can look people straight in the eye and lie her [censored] off. Then go to bed with OM(s), then come home and kiss her BH, her children, and have a good night sleep. No problem. Exposure frees the WW from her addiction by activating her conscience. I think she did have some valid concerns and some vulture has just swooped in there. Expose the heck out of this guy.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I am sorry, but this right here... makes it seem hopeless for BH to even use MB Tactics or anything at all. It seems like you can only call it quits or pray for a miracle... A BH has a very good chance of winning his WW back if he follows the plan without cherry-picking. It is not a joy ride, but it is very possible.
If and when it starts to feel hopeless, he should contact his doctor about antidepressants to help him keep going. This is a fight he can win. Prisca is right. I will add no war can be won without putting up a fight. Now is the time for all BS to man up.
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I agree that most WW fall in the typical WW go by listed on this thread. However, if the BH is a push over and doesn't want to upset his wife the marriage has zero chance of surviving infidelity. Follow the steps here and do not pick and choose what to do when its laid out here. BE LIKE NIKE AND JUST DO IT!
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