I don't think it's a good idea to respond that way. The former in-laws feel like idiots because their stupid child they raised acted like a fool. Their relationship with the POSOW is their attempt to make the best of a bad situation. If/when their relationship ends, you'll probably hear through the grapevine how much they hated her.

Also, if you don't give the kids gifts from their grandparents they will take it as being mean to the kids. It makes you look like a witch and could even be a negative in future custody issues.

P.S. SmilingWoman, I had to change the title of this post since smileygirl wrote her message before the thread title was changed by SugarCane.

SG, I don't think I would do that, but I can understand why you wouldn't want to interact with such cruel, heartless, destructive people. How sad that they don't give a damn about their son, you or your kids. They just care about going along to get along. What asshats. Unfortunately, we can't choose our grandparents, but I would venture to say that their shallowness has cost them the respect of their own grandchildren, as it should. Your kids need to know that they contributed to the breakup of their family.

These are the kind of uncaring people who say inane things like "we just want him to be happy" to justify their moral cowardice and lack of caring. Good thing your H was not a serial killer, huh?

I think it's perfectly ok to do whatever she wants to do b/c the WH's parents drew a line in the sand when they showed their true colors, and decided to enable their willfully adulterous son.

I would simply send a very modest thank you card, and if it were me, I'd let the friends know (who could tell later) that cheap gifts from those who could care less about my childrens' stability, even if they are so called grandparents, aren't well-received.

I know just how she felt b/c the outlaws (what I call my xinlaws)did the same thing. Even threw a "bridal shower and baby shower" all together (the wistress affairage wifey was like 7 mos pregnant when they married)like two weeks after our divorce was final.

Actually he told me recently that his parents wouldn't turn him in if he was wanted for murder. He seriously can do no wrong in their eyes. I know I was villianized by my MIL not by my Wh. She came to help me with the birth of my youngest, first time in 4 years shes visited us. MIL was complaining to POSOW how dirty I keep my house. Im sorry - I was 9 months pregnant with 3 kids under the age of 8, H just deployed, and I had just found out about his affair, was depressed and was having a nervous breakdown...keeping the house clean was the last thing on my mind!!

I take advice here seriously, so I probably wont tell them where their presents went. maybe send them the tax receipts at the end of this year saying thank you for all your donations to charity this year.

I probably wont because if I want any type of relationship with them when we do reconcile then that wouldn't help.

Funny how the BS have to act with higher morals than the people who caused this destruction.

One thing SG, you know that they are not friends of your marriage. If you EVER consider reconciling, you know where their allegiance will forever be. With your wh whether or not he becomes a FORMERLY wayward husband.

That's important to know.

SG - I just sent my WH and the OW emails today. One that stated upon their return from deployment OW will be deposed by BS attorneys and it will also include her mom, friends, my MIL, their military unit, etc.

Since I filed adultery charges against them in the military I may be able to get both depositions and if there are any discrepencies with the ones I get; it may be "Perjury"

I also let them know there will be a lawsuit for the infliction of emotional distress and mental anguish.

That way I get to ask her all the questions I want and I have alot of evidence they do not know I have, so we will see if the stories match.

I haven't heard from them yet, but I am sure they are sitting in JAG's office complaining, and then JAG will tell them "This is a civil matter for the Courts in the States to handle!!!"

The sweet victory of having the ability to depose the OW. I cannot wait to hear what she has to say.

My WH is livid. He probably has my picture up on a dart board at the moment getting drunk with his really good and adultery supporting military buddies. Oh Well!!!!

Thanks MB for the lawsuit advise.

Just a thought. My husband is currently deployed to his home country. My MIL is there and she is enabling the crap out of the both of them. "BS we Germans always sit in hot tubs with naked people. It is just our culture." Vomit!!!!

She is a divorced, lonely 57 yo woman who has her son (keeping him still in diapers), and of course, "WH you deserve to be happy." My issue is she is filling many of his EN's that I normally fill in the states, add OW to the picture and my WH is sitting comfortably. I just need to get him back stateside where MIL is 5000 miles away, and OW will not want him because of crazy BS, and soon his EN's will not be met and I am hoping he will get out of his stinky fog and back to reality with me and our four babies.

Good luck sweetie - this mom of four is also pulling for you!!!

Its not that they believe he can do no wrong, its that they don't care. They don't give a rip. So they say silly things "we just want him to be happy" as an excuse for their lack of caring. I wouldn't allow them around my kids unless I was there and I would make sure my kids knew what kind of people they really are.