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Joined: May 2010
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Joined: May 2010
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Joined: Mar 2010
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Yes, I saw that, but sadly her choice was wrong and she probably was suffering from some type of mental issue or breakdown as a result of the pain from dealing with her ex.
It was all about her, not the kids. Selfishly she chose to involve the kids in the decision to end her life.
This IS why we as bs, need to know that WE NEED TO REMAIN AS SOUND AS POSSIBLE, minimize any destructive contact we have with an ex spouse who is wayward, and focus on what is important, our children and our recovery.
I feel bad for her, but think she needed some help. Somebody should have seen these warning signs around her. Thankfully one child survived. I hope the wayward daddy in this case burns for causing so much pain. I have an xwh who is just as bad as that one, who would blame me for minute issues that most people do not even bat an eye at, and would threaten lawsuits, etc.
Being emotionally battered by somebody is a cry for help. Sad and such a pity that nobody around her KNEW that was going on, or else would not get involved to help her.
Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 208
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Joined: May 2010
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Agreed. Her choice was utterly selfish -- and tragic. HOWEVER, I can't help but understand the soul crushing, hopelessness (and occasional paranoia) that comes from having to deal with betrayal,...the kind that tosses you aside like you're worthless and something to get rid of,...leaving you to fend for yourself AND your children,...often in a trapped, unsatisfying life circumstance,...and the cruelty put upon you by the person you THOUGHT was your trustworthy, life partner,....the person you leaned on,...and loved.
Not everyone will have the same reactions,...or circumstances. Some will NOT handle it in a stable fashion. Some may NOT be able to carry on in the midst of the lies and the cruelty. Some, simply CAN'T handle it,...it's too much.
I WISH -- I REALLY WISH -- there was a more readily available resource for BS (besides marriagebuilders, even) especially for those that really need it, when it comes to handling the emotional stress and getting their lives back on track,...with children, jobs, finances, etc. Somehow, I feel as if it needs to have a more KNOWN source,....such as AA,...to be free is key (especially for those that are low income).
So sad,....
BW m:19y, 2kids PA/EA, 2 FR's, 2x sep, D on hold DD#3 AUG 2010
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,254
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Posts: 1,254 |
That is something I've desired and if I win the lottery of get enough $ would like to create, like a network of counselors to help those devastated by affairs be able to move on.
It's devastating. Sure is. But it is NOT something you should allow rule your life. Never let another take away your love, beauty, or place in the world, because the world is beautiful BECAUSE you are here! I want to so tell that to bs' who are going thru divorces not of their own faults.
That guy was constantly threatening her w/custody change, not giving money, and being contemptual in his support of the kids. No wonder she felt that way. I went thru that too, and was totally innocent of anything he'd say.
The goal of people like that is to win. Not b/c they want the kids, but they want to continue to control the bs AFTER the divorce or separation, and those people imho are truly dangerous.
Just my thoughts and wishes too.
Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,780
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I WISH -- I REALLY WISH -- there was a more readily available resource for BS (besides marriagebuilders, even) especially for those that really need it, when it comes to handling the emotional stress and getting their lives back on track,...with children, jobs, finances, etc. Somehow, I feel as if it needs to have a more KNOWN source,....such as AA,...to be free is key (especially for those that are low income).
So sad,.... I agree. I was in such despair at times during the divorce. I will never forget how I felt when I first had to drop ds off at Wxh's house and OW was sitting in the driveway of the house I had moved out of 10 days earlier. I don't know how I didn't drive my car over the top of her. Somehow in my crazed brain I thought, 'I cannot pull into that driveway or I will kill her or him or both. I CANNOT do that because I have to be here to raise my son.' My son is the ONLY thing that kept me from doing something crazy that day.' I came home and vented like a crazy person here on MB. Wow, so glad to be far removed from that day.
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