According to the authors of The Resilience Factor, this experience of a mismatched stimulus/reaction is �a sign you are being affected by an underlying belief-a deeply held belief about how the world ought to operate and how you feel you ought to operate within that world. �These deeper motivations and values often drive us and determine how we respond to adversity�these underlying beliefs-or icebergs, as we call them- are usually outside our awareness, deep beneath the surface of our consciousness.�

It's a humorous site. I cracked up reading How to Build an Impenetrable Snow Fort and How to Hail a Taxi...Like a Man. I really liked the hair care stuff that had different kinds of pomade (I have to use pomade). Found out I use the same stuff as Mad Men crew...love that show.

It's really too bad men LET themselves be emasculated.

The Art of Manliness.

Never even heard of this site before,

Bait!

I know you clicked it, ladies. Don't lie.

Okay, Prisca is sitting right next to me, on her pink laptop, with this thread up, with this sentence highlighted, looking at me saying "No, I didn't!"

Maybe she thinks since she's logged in as me on that machine it doesn't count?

Throughout human history, however, their physical and mental differences have led to widespread discrimination by men against women. We should not be surprised at that tragic result because whenever there have been differences among us, we have tended to discriminate. And since there are no greater differences than there are between a man and a woman, we should expect sexual discrimination. It's been less than 100 years that women have even had the right to vote here in America because they were judged to be intellectually inferior. Instead of seeing women as an essential complement to their lives, men have tended to view them as personal property that were to serve them throughout life, much like slaves. Men viewed themselves as superior in every way, and felt that the judgment of women was inadequate to make final decisions, even when it came to voting.

Thankfully, we have seen justice for women. Education, the ultimate equalizer, has proven that women are every bit as intelligent and creative as men. In fact, they are now in the majority in most colleges and universities. Every male college student can attest to the fact that women are in no way intellectually inferior.

While much in the way of traditional gender roles has shifted in modern times, most women I know still want a man who can be the rock in the relationship. But just what does being the rock entail? I asked this question in the Community, and this is what a few of the men had to say:

Jamie said: �To me, that means being mature, guided by reason and my family�s best interest, rather than being given to emotional upsets. My wife wants to know that if she gives me her cares and concerns, she can rest assured that I�ll take care of them responsibly.�

Jeffre said: �To me, being the rock means I need to be the calm when life starts getting stormy. Not that I can control the events that happen in life, but I can control how our family responds to the events. . . Does it mean I�m always �the rock?� No, there are times when I have had to lean on my wife for support, but as a general rule my job is to be there for her and the kids. If there is a crisis and I�m not doing well, I have to put aside my fear and anxieties to step up for them. You feel like you want to crawl into a hole and disappear, but you can�t because others depend on you. Those are the times of real testing. When those times arrive I think of a quote I read somewhere (I don�t know who originally said it) but here it is: �Ask not for a lighter burden, but ask for broader shoulders.�

Robert said: �My dad was always the �rock� in the family. He�s the go to guy. The person you can always rely on. The person that you know will be strong when everyone else isn�t�Being the �rock� means always doing what you say you will do. Being calm when the situation seems to be chaotic and panic the order of the day. My dad is the rock because he is reason when emotion prevails, compassion when hearts are hardened, and humorous when you least expect it.�

What else does it mean to be the rock? Let�s take a look.

I also read his case for marriage article awhile ago. Great source of info! Haven't seen the how to apologize article till now.

I like this article on best and worst TV dads:

http://artofmanliness.com/2008/06/10/the-all-time-best-and-worst-tv-dads

In the words of the immortal Yogi Berra, "It's deja vu all over again!"

I think it was here, but it could have been another forum, where this topic appeared a few months ago.

My answer then, as now is summed up thus:

"The women's movement has succeeded. It's turned men into women and women into men."

HHH, we're at a bit of a crossroads here, I think. On the one hand, we're told that "men show no pain," don't ask for directions, solve their own problems, and "man up."

On the other hand, men are portrayed in the media as clueless, wimpy, helpless, bumbling buffoons who couldn't pour urine out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel.

In my opinion, neither stereotype is healthy, and I honestly don't think true for the majority.

Even though I'm not a hulking brute of a man, I've never doubted my masculinity. But I was on a fast track toward destruction through my own self-centered ideas and behavior. Nearly twenty years ago I was blessed with that "moment of clarity" that allowed me to see how powerless and out of control I was. It was a turning point in my life.

Present day: once a week I attend a men's small group Bible study. Some of the most manly men I've ever met attend this. I'm talking about military jet jockeys, government black hat types, and so on. Despite the high testosterone level, we share with one another the things that are going on in our lives, and we have a pledge to one another to be accountable.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn. Rather, I'm perfectly willing to admit I don't have all the answers and am not afraid to ask for help.

To me, there's nothing unmanly about that!

A man lives with integrity every day.

In Maycomb County, Atticus was known as a man who was �the same in his house as he is on the public streets.� That was the standard he lived by. He did not have one set of morals for business and one for family, one for weekdays and one for weekends. He was incapable of doing anything that would broach the inviolable sanctity of his conscience. He made the honorable decision, even when that decision was unpopular.

�This case, Tom Robinson�s case, is something that goes to the essence of a man�s conscience-Scout, I couldn�t go to church and worship God if I didn�t try to help that man.�

�Atticus, you must be wrong��

�How�s that?�

�Well, most folks seem to think they�re right and you�re wrong��

�They�re certainly entitled to think that, and they�re entitled to full respect for their opinions,� said Atticus, �but before I can live with other folks I�ve got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn�t abide by majority rule is a person�s conscience.�

Atticus understood that a man�s integrity was his most important quality-the foundation upon which his honor and the trust of others was built. Stripped of integrity, a man becomes weak and impotent, no longer a force for good in his family or community.

�If you shouldn�t be defendin� him, then why are you doin� it?�

�For a number of reasons,� said Atticus. �The main one is, if I didn�t I couldn�t hold up my head in town, I couldn�t represent this county in the legislature, I couldn�t even tell you or Jem to do something again.�

�You mean if you didn�t defend that man, Jem and me wouldn�t have to mind you any more?�

�That�s about right.�

�Why?�

�Because I could never ask you to mind me again. Scout, simply by the nature of the work, every lawyer gets at least one case in his lifetime that affects him personally. This one�s mine.�