Sure. Let me know what else I can do.

Well, if you are ready to enter a full blown Plan B, the first thing you will need is an IM. You should not be getting emails from her directly. Do you have everything worked out for visitations, etc? You will need to go NC with your WW to be in a true Plan B. You should re-write a PLan B letter and try to keep it as close to the one in SAA as possible.

It is going against everything in me, to advise you to go into a Plan B, but I just can't see how you can Plan A your WW when you have NO contact whatsoever. If you saw any way for you to Plan A, I would encourage you to do so. With no chances to PLan A, I would suggest a true Plan B.

If you decide to Plan B, you need to do it 100%. Are you ready for that?

You know, I'm thinking that I probably should but one thing that has come out of this situation is a desire to completely trust God. In the last few days, this has been so beneficial in more ways than you can imagine. I say that because many of the things I've done over the course of these last few months have been without consulting with Him.

What I'm gonna do tonight is spend some time in prayer seeking direction. So I say yes, but I can't be for sure at this point and time. I will hopefully have an answer soon for you.

I want to thank you for all of the help, assistance, and encouragement you have given. I really appreciate it more than you would believe.

When you have made your decision, you know where we will be. Take care.

Nothing new to report relating to my marriage but I just wanted to update based on my post from a few days ago. It's still quite hard to believe why it had to take my marriage crumbling for me to understand this but God had his reasons.

Not only have I completely cut out porn in the form of movies and videos but I've also eliminated erotic literature. I used it to replace the visual stimulation from the movies but it was still as wrong because it caused mental imagery that was against God and his standards.

I really can't believe how well I have been doing since this revelation in other ways as well. I have truly grown as a result of this whole ordeal and I will be forever grateful for the experience regardless how my marriage turns out.

Well, today is my day to have daughter for a few hours. I usually pick her up from church. Wife texted this morning saying she wasn't feeling well and that she wouldn't be going to church. She asked if I would pick up daughter from her apartment. I told her that I would and asked if there was anything I could bring her to help. She said no thank you but thanked me for being willing to accomodate her request. I simply said "no problem...get well". She replied "thank you".

This was really the first fairly pleasant exchange we've had in a long time although it wasn't much. At least she knows I still care.

Had another encounter with WW today. Daughter had a performance at school today and since I had her, we went and wife showed up about 15 minutes before the start. DD sat in between the two of us and then moved to the row in front of us with her friend. Wife and I remained separated by the vacant seat until the performances started and then I scooted over to make some comments about the dances and dancers. We had a few laughs and there was some pleasant exchanges between us. It really felt different.

During DD's performance, we laughed and talked about how good she was doing and how she loves to do things like that. After DD's performance, I left. Maybe I should have stayed, but oh well.

On another note, I was moved to return to the church I'd left a month or so ago and I revealed to the congregation my battle with pornography and the liberating experience I had earlier during the week. Oh man, it felt good to be completely open about my struggle. The public confession made me feel as though I no longer have to hide my issue. It felt sooooo good.

Mark - I'm proud of you man!

Keep being the man God always intended you to be. You are setting the example for all.

BTW - you know you're not really in Plan B - right?

Powerbane, Mark thought he would be in Plan B when he started this thread but some wise people told him he should Plan A. Looked at his siggy.

Mark, those were some great Plan A moments. Remember, that until you decide to go through with a Plan B, you need to do this whenever you can and take advantage of every opportunity.

My pastor told me today that he'd gotten a few questions from people regarding my public confession of my pornography problem at church yesterday. He said that one person asked if it was child pornography (and no, it was not). One person asked if he'd known about my struggle. He then tells me that had he known I was going to dothat, he would've advised me not to. He said that some things should not be confessed publicly.

I told him that I did not feel bad about my public confession and that it really didn't bother me that some had questions. I told him that I was aware that there would be some negative reactions to it but isn't that the case with anything you try to do right? I then told him that if people had any further questions, just give them my number as I would be more than happy to discuss it with them.

Well, tomorrow is our scheduled mediation session. I can't even afford the hour drive to the site, much less the cost of the session but I will show up anyway and tell them that. There are many things still that need to be determined and I would not let WW have everything she wanted so her we are.

I attempted to speak with her before things got to that point but she couldn't do it in a civil manner. She has tried since but with the fact that she filed a bogus restraining order on me back in December (it was later dropped), I didn't want to put myself in any bad situation. We'll just see what happens.

Also, since my revelation about my porn and my public confession, I've still sensed that something was still missing and I realized that I have not spoke to my WW about it and asked for her forgiveness since the offense was committed against her. I think I will atleast attempt to do so this evening, if she will accept my call.

Just got off of the phone with WW. I told her that based on scripture (Matthew 5:23,24), it was my responsibility to confess my faults to the one I'd wronged. I basically told her that I failed to meet Christ's standard of loving a wife as I should because I often put self before my spouse. I told her that I realized that all the years of porn was more than just "lust" but adultery in the eyes of God. I asked for her forgiveness. She said she forgave me and the conversation was ended.

I want you all to understand that I am not taking away anything that my wife has done wrong. I'm not trying to make excuses for her actions or admit that I "caused" her to make the choices she made. I just wanted to accept full responsibility for my faults and confess them to her.

She may never confess to me the ways she wronged me. She may never realize that I was not the only culprit in our marital breakdown. She may never admit to doing anything wrong, but isn't this journey about personal growth? I've grown tremendously throughout this and have come to really appreciate it even though it has been difficult.

Yes, there have been countless books and articles that have added to my understanding of my errors. There have been countless people who have helped me. But I owe most of what I've learned to God and His word. He has taught me so much.

So tomorrow is our mediation session and our final hearing has been set for June 2nd pending the mediation results. It has been a long haul but I'm finally to a place where I know that His will is what's best for me.

God bless all.....

Well, I don't know what God is doing, but HE is doing something. I and wife both showed up for mediation today with the knowledge that we'd be billed for our session if we couldn't pay. Upon getting there, we were told that we had to pay $300 upfront before anything could be started. We were both then given 60 days to come up with the money. This is the 3rd time in our divorce process where things have hit a snag that really neither of us had control over.

We were supposed to be going to final hearing that was reset for June 2nd pending mediation but now that's not gonna happen. I don't know but my thoughts based on everything that has happened is that our divorce may not be in His will. I just don't know anymore.

But one thing I do know is that God is in control.

So my wife calls this morning confirming my suspicions about why she was so livid that the mediation didn't happen yesterday. She continued with the wayward spouse talk saying that our 10 year marriage was a mistake because she never loved me. She told me that it doesn't matter how long the divorce takes because the divorce will happen. She then tells me that she has a new man in her life and that she likes him. Surprise. Surprise.

I've always knew that was the case but had no way to confirm it since we are separated, but it did hurt to hear her actually say it. I think what hurt the most is when I asked her if she really thought this was what God wanted, she replied, "I don't care what God wants, this is about me." I'm afraid that those will be words she we regret letting slip from her lips.

Mark, sorry to WW confirmed your suspicions but now you know for sure. I'm not in much of a position to give any advice but God has a plan even if we don't know what it is. Stay strong!

Mrak, were you able to do anything Plan Aish? Remember, there is a carrot and a stick of Plan A, and until you are in Plan B, you should Plan A whenever possible.

I just agreed with her when she started to bring up her "validation" like you were selfish and you are a lied and all the other stuff. I didn't say anything negative or anything. I also stayed calm and didnt let her know that her statement bothered me.

It was tough not to try and debate with her. I asked if she would listen to what I had to say and she cut me off. I was tempted to just hang up during her rant but didn't. She also told me that she would block me from being able to call her phone so that's that.

I told our pastor about her statements specifically about her having a boyfriend and not caring about God. He said that she'd told him just 2 weeks ago in an hour long conversation that she was getting her self together (she's been missing a lot of church which is not normal for her) and that she was sorry about the infidelity and all the other stuff she'd done.

This bothered him obviously to hear her make a statement regarding God like that and to know that she basically lies to his face. He said he's going to address it because someone who is in this mindset, especially as it relates to God, needs to know what lies ahead of them.

Do you guys think it would do any good to expose again since my wife pretty much told me she has a boyfriend this morning? My last exposure was pretty much just about her dating website profile and texting/talking to other men. This time I have some pretty "credible" proof.

In our conversation this morning, she told me if we were to ever get back together, she would cheat on me and make my life a living hell. She also told me after she revealed the "new man" in her life that she would block my number so that I couldn't call her. She later sent me a text saying, "Youre number has officially been BLOCKED...LMAO".

Man, she is thick in the fog....

She is not only thick in the fog, she is extremely abusive. The time for a true Plan B is long since past. Please, will you consider one? Get an IM. Set the letter written and approved on here. Get yourself locked up tight. Protect yourself and your child. This needs to end.

As far as re-exposing, do you know who OM is? Without that, you may not be able to expose anything. Let the vets weigh in.